Watch What YOU Want With a Clickbait Movie Plot
#ClickBaitAMovie began trending on Twitter. What happened next will shock you.
What Is Clickbait? Why Should You Care?
— @midnight (@midnight) May 28, 2015
Well, it’s bait for… clicks. It’s a catchy title, used to grab your attention and draw you into a dark realm . Clickbait titles often throw innuendo at you faster than a Carry On movie (largely aimed at men because we’re more gullible), and frequently indulge in phrases like:
- “A Man Discovered Electricity. What Happened Next Will Shock You”
- “Lindsay Lohan Discovered How To Avoid Taxes. Obama Personally Hates Her”
- “This Simple Life Hack Will Make Girls Flock To You Like You’re A Particularly Handsome Shepherd.”
As to why you should care… Maybe because it’s gradually taking over the Internet? And it’s doing so because writers have
got lazy spotted an effective way of catching your attention. To be perfectly frank, it works, and it’s not going away anytime soon; this is the Internet’s lexicon.
But Wait a Minute!
It’s all about intrigue. Often this attracts you to pointless topics like spheres, blunt pencils, and Kanye West, but what if it’s used to actually educate you? Previously, Twitter showed us the light by clickbaiting novels , luring people into reading The Old Man And The Sea, Life of Pi, and Nineteen Eighty-Four. Also: Fifty Shades of Grey.
Here are 10 of the best. And if you think there were some bad jokes here, you should be thankful I didn’t include Groundhog Day!
Rudolf the Red-Nosed Reindeer
— Mike Janes (@JanesMike) May 28, 2015
With less than six months to go until Christmas (sorry to break that to some of you), it’s about time we’re reminded of Rudolf’s heroics. This 1964 tale is an unlikely classic, seemingly turning Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen et al into Nelson Muntz figures. Why? Rudolf has a red nose. Hey, it’s cold at the North Pole!
His forward-thinking gives hope to all those avid galosh-wearers, hopelessly picked on until that one day there’s a substantial puddle standing in the way of the school gates.
Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs
This beauty lives with seven tiny men! Number five will make you cringe.#ClickBaitAMovie
— JulieSegoviaRowland (@julie_segovia) May 28, 2015
I don’t remember Cringey in the 1937 Disney line-up.
Mind you, the original Brothers Grimm dwarves didn’t have names, so following productions heaped loads of oddities on them. In amongst the mix, we find Chubby, Quee, Critterina, Butcher, Spanky, Sunburn, and Axlerod. No joke. Cringey might just be part of a new Urban Dictionary roster.
Lara Croft: Tomb Raider
— Jay Brody (@theJaybrody) May 29, 2015
Just in case some blokes were nodding off.
As a spin-off from the lucrative video game franchise, Tomb Raider starred Angelina Jolie as a reckless know-it-all who can swing from curtains and suchlike. Archaeological experts gave the film a firm thumbs-down after Ms. Croft ditched regulation equipment in favour of guns and tight clothing. Regular moviegoers gave it a thumbs-down because it was abysmal.
— Lou Chapman (@LckyLou) June 1, 2015
It’s not even out yet, but this controversial film is already urging people to pump iron in order to obtain a hard exterior. Just watching Bambi a few times should toughen you up.
Hardly a bikini body: this Thing got into trouble for appearing nude at a recent comic convention. (Now that, ladies and gentlemen, is clickbait!)
Snakes on a Plane
— The Sliced Pan (@theslicedpan) May 28, 2015
Frankly, it could be anything. A bad meal? SHIELD secrets? Kate Moss calling him a basic b**ch? You never know these days…
— macy (@MacyAloi) May 28, 2015
(Don’t make a Caitlyn Jenner joke, don’t make a Caitlyn Jenner joke, don’t make a Caitlyn Jenner joke.)
The much-missed Robin Williams will live on in the minds of millions as the voice of the Genie, as Mork, and of course as Mrs Doubtfire, a man so desperate to see his kids, he pretends to be an elderly babysitter. There’s probably an au pair gag available somewhere if you can handle it.
A Clockwork Orange
This famous 1971 film directed by Stanley Kubrick quickly gained cult status with its promotion of TRESemmé haircare. Probably. I don’t know: I’ve never seen it. I just googled “A Clockwork Orange” and it came up with something about conditioning.
— The Tweetslinger (@DALLASNITES) May 28, 2015
There’s nothing quite like infiltrating a sex trafficking operation, maiming mobsters, and witnessing several cases involving heroin overdoses to warm your heart. Liam Neeson’s role in this 2008 French thriller was ever so slightly different to his part in Love, Actually; this time, he didn’t end up with Claudia Schiffer.
#ClickBaitAMovie Life is like a box of chocolates with free shipping if you order in the next 13 minutes.
— Le Sneaque (@leSneaque) May 29, 2015
There’s nothing like Twitter for making you realize life really is like a box of chocolates: mostly nice, but hampered by a few nuts.
This 90s classic stars Tom “Nicest Man In Hollywood” Hanks as a greatly-loved cowboy, bewildered and jealous of the new toy in town, Buzz Lig — hang on, that’s not right, is it?
Captain America: The First Avenger
All MakeUseOf writers would click on this one, guaranteed – apart from Dave Parrack who already is in peak physical form and is, coincidentally, editor of this article.
Clickbait Gets Results
Look, if you thought there were some bad jokes there, you should be thankful I didn’t include Groundhog Day! The truth is, #ClickBaitAMovie is essentially doing synopsis writers’ jobs for them. It’s pretty easy to make films sound amazing. Behold!
“A team of scientists brought dinosaurs back to life! What happens next is surprisingly predictable.”
That could stand for any Jurassic Park film, or even The Expendables. Cinema may be dying , but as the Radio Times demonstrates admirably, we know our films. This knowledge can be put to good use to persuade your family and friends to watch your choice of film.
Imagine the scene: You and your other half have the evening to yourselves and decide to spend it watching a movie. You have one film in mind, while he or she has another in mind. You cannot decide between the two films, and neither of you is willing to back down. Stalemate.
However, you have a secret ploy up your sleeve. You clickbait the movie up, selling it to your partner, parents, children, or friends in a new and exciting way. They’re compelled to change their minds and let you watch the movie of your choice. So it turns out clickbait can be a force for good after all.
Having read the best clickbait movies Twitter could come up with, it’s now your turn to offer up your own alternative synopsis. Please let us know your clickbait movie plot in the comments section below, and the best one wins
a fantastic prize casual derision.
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