Today in Tech News Digest, the creator of Bitcoin is (allegedly) unmasked, Spotify acquires The Echo Nest, Facebook (finally) settles on its new News Feed design, Vine bans pornography, Microsoft's Siri-alike leaks, and LG releases the creepiest commercial of all time.

THE Satoshi Nakamoto Unmasked?

Newsweek claims to have found THE Satoshi Nakamoto, naming the alleged creator of Bitcoin as a 64-year-old man living in Los Angeles. The Nakamoto they fingered is denying any connection with the cryptocurrency.

Bitcoin was created by someone calling himself (or herself) Satoshi Nakamoto, who has always been an anonymous figure extremely keen on remaining in the shadows. Journalists have been looking for the real Satoshi Nakamoto for years, but without success.

Newsweek now claims to have found Satoshi Nakamoto, who it states is a man actually named Satoshi Nakamoto. The publication is so sure it has its facts right that it published photos of the man, his house, and his car, along with personal details enough for anyone to find him.

The Nakamoto named in the article has denied having anything to do with Bitcoin, granting the Associated Press a two-hour interview over lunch. The journalists who missed out on the scoop chased him through L.A. in a manner unbecoming of the profession.

This story is still developing, and it remains to be seen whether or not this Satoshi Nakamoto is THE Satoshi Nakamoto. If he isn't then Newsweek should expect some serious backlash for turning this poor guy's life upside-down.

Spotify Acquires The Echo Nest

So happy to welcome @echonest to the Spotify family! Can't wait to build awesome stuff together.

— Daniel Ek (@eldsjal) March 6, 2014

Spotify has acquired The Echo Nest for an undisclosed sum of money. The Echo Nest describes itself as a “music intelligence company," and it uses data to group songs together and better determine which tracks to play for individuals.

The interesting thing about this acquisition is that The Echo Nest powers many of Spotify's rivals, including Rdio, Deezer, and Rhapsody. These companies are now reliant on technology owned by Spotify, which must surely rankle.

You can see how The Echo Nest analyzes songs by playing with Infinite Gangnam Style.

Facebook Settles On News Feed Design

Last look at Facebook News Feed that'll never be—and preview of the one to come: http://t.co/gWjK3CLdGn cc @nateog pic.twitter.com/Wd0L0uQ4oV

— Wilson Rothman (@wjrothman) March 7, 2014

After a whole year of trialling a new-look News Feed, Facebook has begun rolling out the redesign it settled on. And, according to The Verge, it's a disappointing back-to-basics effort that only changes a few things in a few places. This won't, however, prevent Facebook users from vociferously complaining about the changes, as they do each and every time.

Vine Bans Porn

Twitter bans porn videos on Vine. So I guess now the only place you'll get to see 7 seconds of sex is in my bedroom.

— Fake Dispatch (@Fake_Dispatch) March 7, 2014

Vine has officially sexually explicit material from its service. The Twitter-owned service has previously taken steps to hide such material by deleting inappropriate hashtags, but this is an outright ban written into the Terms of Service. Thankfully, for those people who like pornography, the Internet is awash with the stuff. Or so I'm told.

Cortana, Microsoft's Answer To Siri, Leaks

A video showing a beta version of Cortana has leaked online, though no voice features have yet been added. Microsoft is known to be working on a digital assistant codenamed Cortana after the AI character of the same name from the Halo series of video games. This rival to Siri and Google Now will be an opt-in feature for Windows Phone 8.1, but has yet to be officially revealed.

LG Creeps Everyone Out With New Ad

And finally, LG has released what this technology journalist considers to be the creepiest commercial of all time. TechCrunch has gone one better and named it the "worst commercial ever."

The ad is for the LG G Flex, a 6-inch phablet with a curved screen. The phone is depicted in the commercial as a human hand with the features of whoever is speaking on the other end of the line. So, one minute it's a beard, the next it's a female mouth. Which the protagonist passionately kisses. Because that isn't creepy at all.

NB: We've had to embed a copy of the ad after LG removed the original upload from YouTube. Because embarrassed.

Tech News Digest… Breaking News Into Bite-Sized Chunks.

Image Credit: JD Hancock via Flickr