Internet Self Improvement

6 Online Dating Mistakes You Should Never Make

Ben Stegner 07-04-2017

Do you know someone who met their spouse via online dating? Once considered a way for socially awkward people to meet, dating services are now immensely popular with people of all types. But their modern ubiquity hasn’t made navigating the world of internet dating any easier.


There’s a lot of awful dating advice floating around The Internet's Worst Dating and Relationship Advice Most dating advice on the web is awful. Here's the worst of it. Read More . It’s hard enough to sort through potential matches and evaluate whom you’d like to go out with, but many online daters get tripped up in other areas, too. Let’s try to make some sense of the internet dating world Online Dating: Men Don't Get It And Women Don't Understand Do online dating websites work? It's time for a frank discussion! What I learned from interviews was that online dating is equally painful for men and for women, but for very different reasons. Read More by reviewing some big no-nos that everyone should avoid.

1. Not Considering Safety

It’s easy to get sucked into excitement when you connect with someone who catches your fancy. But it’s important to remember that someone could easily fake their information Online Dating Tips: 5 Guys to Avoid Like the Plague In online dating, there are guys to avoid. This article lists five types of guys to avoid. Read More and pictures on their dating profile. Worse, an attacker could be using the service as a way to find potential victims How to Spot and Avoid an Online Dating Scammer: 8 Red Flags Do you date online? Here are several tips and red flags to help you spot and avoid scammers on online dating sites. Read More .

Be smart and don’t let yourself get into a bad situation. Talk with potential matches for a while before you agree to meet them in person. Offer to talk to them for a bit on the phone before you meet up — if they fiddle around that, it’s a bad sign.

If you do agree to meet up, make it in a public place where you have ways to exit if needed. Don’t meet at your house or a remote location, and transport yourself there so you can leave when you wish. It’s also smart to let your family or trusted friends know where you’re going and roughly how long you’ll be there so they’re aware. Of course, you should also avoid drinking too much on a date, which makes you vulnerable.

Make sure the information in your profile doesn’t say too much about you How to Protect Your Online Dating Profile from Stalkers and Identity Hackers Do you look for love with online dating? Appearing attractive doesn't mean you have to forego your personal privacy. Let's take a look at curating the perfect blend for some safe online dating. Read More , either. Consider using an alternate email address or Google Voice number Google Voice Gets an Update and Is More Useful Than Ever Google Voice, long thought abandoned, was just revived by Google. Here's what's up with Voice and what you can expect to see in the revamped apps. Read More to keep your real information hidden. Don’t reveal your full name to people before you’ve gotten to know them.


Hopefully you never run into someone who’s using online dating to find victims, but it’s a real threat you can’t ignore. These tips are even more important if you’re using a free service, where the barrier to entry is low.

2. Using Phony Pictures

Your showcase photo is the first way that people see you 5 Tips to Make a Great Profile Picture for More Likes and Followers There are plenty of suggestions from studies and photographers on how you can make a more presentable profile picture for Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, or any other network. Here are the best. Read More . It’s important to make it awesome so that potential matches are intrigued and want to know more!

However, while using blurry photos or pictures with multiple people in them is bad, you can go too far in the other direction, too. Doctoring your photos or using the single best picture of yourself isn’t a fair representation of who you are. If you spend hours in Photoshop to create the perfect set of pictures Create a Professional Profile Picture Using Photoshop and a Selfie In this article, we'll show you how to create a clean, professional look from one of the most widespread photographic forms of the modern era: the selfie. Read More to hide your flaws, what is your date going to think when they see the real you?

Don’t use outdated photos, either. If your favorite picture of yourself is ten years old, that’s again not a good picture of who you are today. Ask a friend to take a few pictures of you with your smartphone camera. People who are looking for a companion on dating websites want to see an honest representation of you.


The best profile photo is one that shows you as you naturally are. Have a headshot, a full-body shot, and a picture of you doing something that you love. If someone sees those and doesn’t have any interest, they aren’t the one for you anyway.

3. Lying on Your Profile

It’s easy to hide the truth in your pictures, but lying on other parts of your profile isn’t wise either. You should answer questionnaires honestly 5 Reasons to Take eHarmony's Questionnaire Most dating apps promise you immediate results and without much effort. But try eHarmony if you want to improve your chances for a long term relationship. Read More and don’t fudge the facts on your main profile. If you’re a little overweight, don’t claim that you’re slim. Don’t pretend to enjoy certain activities if you despise or haven’t even tried them. Lying isn’t a good foundation for any relationship, and eventually these falsities will come out.

The right person will love you not just because of traits they like about you, but despite your flaws. What’s more, something you hate about yourself (perhaps freckles, the way you laugh, or your passion for 1950s cinema) could end up being something your match loves about you.

Don’t try to disguise who you are — it’s exhausting.


All this being said, make sure to fill up your profile with info! A mostly blank page doesn’t give potential matches enough to go off when they’re evaluating you.

4. Sending Boring or Creepy Messages

Okay, so you’ve finally found someone whom you find attractive and you want to send them a message or email. This is another critical time that’s easy to screw up. Come up with something that they haven’t heard a hundred times already.

Starting a conversation with “Hey” or “What’s up?” is boring and shows that you put about two seconds of effort into it. Don’t introduce yourself with a five-paragraph stock writeup that goes into way too much personal detail.

Ideally, you should bring up something you found interesting in the person’s profile so they know you read it. Bring up an interest you have in common 6 Tools to Find Awesome People with Similar Interests Connecting with new people can help you get more out of life. Take the plunge and start making new friends who share your interests Read More and end with a good question to provoke a good response. There’s nothing worse than messages that are difficult to respond to.


Make sure that you also don’t give off a creepy vibe 4 Ways to Avoid Being "That Guy" on Tinder If your Tinder experiences aren't paying off, you may need to reexamine your game, and the problem may be in the way that you're presenting yourself. Are you that guy on Tinder? Read More in your initial messages. Don’t ask for personal information, tell them that they’re exactly what you’ve been looking for, or send weird pictures. This will scare people off.

Be yourself and see what comes of it. If someone doesn’t reply right away, they could be busy with work or travel. Give them a few days and don’t obsess over waiting for their response.

5. Being Too Picky or Idealistic

The world of online dating lends itself to some interesting challenges. When you meet someone in person, you don’t have a stack of other people a click away to compare them to. Online, because you’re looking through a list of comparable profiles and pictures, it’s easy to get selective and obsess over finding the perfect person. Don’t do this or it will turn into decision paralysis.

If she likes jazz music and you prefer country, that’s not a reason to forgo contacting her. Instead, think about the big ideas — does she live in the same city as you? If you thrive on having intelligent conversations, does his profile suggest that he’s interested in the same? Don’t compromise your values, of course, but understand that you aren’t looking for someone who 100 percent matches your vision of an ideal mate.

This holds once you’ve agreed to meet the person, too. Even if their profile seems great, you’ll learn so much more about someone from the way they act in person. Here, you’ll notice how often they laugh, their tone, if they check their phone too much, and other important details that you can’t ascertain from an online profile.

Once you’ve gone on a few dates, resist the temptation to think that you’ve found your soul mate. You very well could be entering a great relationship, but building one takes time. Don’t obsess over the idea of dating someone — get to know the person you’ve met and evaluate if they’re a good match for you.

6. Not Using the Right Service for You

If from nothing else than TV commercials, you probably know that there are an absurd amount of dating websites. When you’re not having much luck meeting people, perhaps the cause could be that you’re not on the right service.

Dating websites and apps differ in their user expectations. Free dating sites are often more casual than paid ones, so if you’re serious about finding a match, consider paying to join one. If you’re of a certain race, age, or religion, you can use a service that caters to others like you. And there are a host of mobile apps that are generally geared towards the casual culture of the younger generations.

Compare this sample selection of dating services and try one out if the one you’re using isn’t working:

You probably think of Tinder when you consider mobile dating apps. Despite its issues Why Swiping Right on Tinder Might Get You More Than a Date Swiping right on Tinder could lead to quite unexpected results. Don't get left in the dark: Here's everything you need to know about the pitfalls of swiping right on Tinder. Read More , Tinder is popular with teens and 20-somethings due to its simple profiles, quick swiping to say yes or no to a potential match, and enabling hookups. If Tinder doesn’t appeal to you Tired of Tinder? Seven Free Alternative Dating Apps Now that Tinder is charging for its services, it might be time to turn to one of the many other dating apps available. Which will you try? Read More and you’re looking for something more serious, check out some alternative apps that do it differently Frustrated with Online Dating? These 9 Apps Are Doing Things Differently There are several problems with what online dating looks like right now. These apps offer solutions to each of these problems so you find the one that works right for you. Read More , like the newly popular Bumble Why Women Are Flocking to the Bumble Dating App: 7 Reasons Women are flocking to Bumble, the dating app that launched as a rival to Tinder. Here are several important reasons why. Read More . Most major dating sites also have mobile apps so you can keep up on the go.

What Are Your Online Dating Rules?

Above all, the most important tip for online dating success is to be a likable person. Learn more about how to be someone that people like to hang around.

Along with the regular challenges of dating, doing so online adds some unique issues. Hopefully, these tips help you navigate the world of dating on the internet and pursue some potential matches. Maybe you wanted to check for common pitfalls before starting, or needed to re-evaluate your strategy after striking out. Whatever the case, don’t get discouraged. Dating can be frustrating, but eventually you’ll find someone who makes it all worth it.

No matter which service you try, review online relationship tips that work magic 4 Online Relationship Tips That Actually Work There are plenty of examples to show that Happily Ever After is attainable for online and long distance relationships. Here are some of the best tips and advice to keep you on the right path. Read More . And going a bit broader, make sure you aren’t making these common social etiquette mistakes or social gathering faux pas.

Image Credits: Mladen Mitrinovic/Shutterstock

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  1. Roger David
    August 22, 2019 at 9:38 am

    I don't think this works, no matter what you do, disappointment is inevitable in most cases. I am black in color but wanted serious relationship so I did all the things to get in relationship but nothing looks working. These tactics only for handsome and white ones.

  2. Alex D'souza
    February 25, 2019 at 7:39 am

    To be honest, no matter what you do, disappointment is inevitable in most cases. People on dating sites are not serious and all they want is hook-ups. So, I'd suggest all serious people to consider joining marriage only match-making sites like

  3. ADam Cole
    December 11, 2018 at 9:23 am

    I have seen the danger side of online dating as well as the fun side too but i am not interested in risking at it again.

  4. Denis Bill
    April 5, 2018 at 7:34 am

    I don't currently and have never used a dating site, I'm just curious if "LavaLife aims to 'make dating fun again' and gives tips along the way to help you have a better experience.
    [Broken URL Removed]

  5. Sean R Kethcart
    April 16, 2017 at 11:52 am

    MUO is trying their hand at dating tips?

    You've jumped the shark, mates.

  6. cmcollins001
    April 8, 2017 at 5:35 am

    Since I don't currently and have never used a dating site, I'm just curious if "LavaLife aims to 'make dating fun again' and gives tips along the way to help you have a batter experience." is a play on words or if "batter" is a typo.

    • Ben Stegner
      April 8, 2017 at 4:43 pm

      This was a mistake and I appreciate you catching it. I've fixed it.