The Walking Dead. World War Z. Zombieland. Dawn of the Dead. All of these movies and TV shows have one thing in common: the zombie apocalypse. The idea of a zombie uprising is nothing new, with movies and books having focused on the subject for a long time now. But, the idea of actually preparing for the zombie apocalypse (even if done ironically) is a notion that’s growing in popularity.
It’s with that in mind that we take a look at Man Crates Zombie Survival Crate. It’s a fun gift idea that contains some pretty serious pieces of hardware, anchored by an impressive 10.75″ high-carbon steel machete. It’s a cool package, whether you want to prepare for the inevitable zombie uprising or not. But is it worth the price? Is the stuff contained in the kit of a high-quality? Those are just a few of the questions we are going to take a look at in this review.
Best of all, we have an unopened crate to give away to one lucky reader. Keep it for yourself or give to that person in your life who believes it’s time to get ready for the zombies. Either way, keep reading to find out how to enter for your chance to take this whole kit home with you.
Warning: This is not a toy. The machete in the kit is very, very real, and could cause serious bodily harm if not treated with the respect it deserves.
Introducing Man Crates Zombie Survival Crate
What the heck is a Man Crate? More specifically, what is the Man Crates Zombie Survival Crate? Basically, it’s a wooden box that you have to pry open, and contained within are products that might help you fend off a zombie horde. It costs $99, and contains some neat gadgets and goodies.
Inside, you’ll find a Gerber Gator Machete Junior, Zombie Survival Guide by Max Brooks, a crookneck flashlight, a first aid kit, a roll of Gorilla Tape duct tape, and of course, a can of Spam. We’ll take a look at the products on offer more specifically later on in the review, but there’s definitely some cool goodies in there. Is there $100 worth of stuff? Is it actually fun to open the crate? Keep reading the review to find out!
Opening the Crate – An Experience
Most of the time, the packaging a product comes in means nothing. It’s there to look cool on a store shelf and convince you to buy it. With Man Crates, on the other hand, the packaging is part of the experience. It’s a large portion of the reason you’d buy one of their offerings in the first place.
The crate in “Man Crates” isn’t there just for show, as your set of goodies literally comes in a wooden crate. You get the crate, a crowbar, and a card that says, “If at first you don’t succeed, pry and pry again.” The back of said card also points you to a help site that will tell you how to open the crate, but I don’t recommend that. The fun is sitting there banging your head against it for a few minutes trying to open it. Of course, were actual zombies hot on my heels, I’d be long eaten before I got the crate open, but thankfully, the zombies aren’t here… yet.
Basically, the idea here is that you need get to the crowbar into the box and pry it open. How you do this is ultimately up to you, and at least in the case of the zombie kit, nothing inside is particularly fragile, so you can really dig in there and have at it.
I have to admit that, in spite of it taking me close to 10 minutes to crack the thing open, I had a lot of fun. Sure, I had wood splinters all over my front yard and a half destroyed wooden box to dispose of, but I also had a cool experience I wouldn’t be able to get if I just ordered the stuff inside the crate individually. Do you run the risk of splinters? Sure, but what’s life without a little risk?
Value Proposition – What’s Inside?
You really shouldn’t look too heavily at the prices of the things in the crate, because if you’re buying this as a gift for someone (or for yourself), part of what you’re paying for is the aforementioned experience. However, it’s still worth having a quick look over the items contained in the crate:
- Gerber Gator Machete Junior
- Zombie Survival Guide by Max Brooks
- Crookneck flashlight
- Small first aid kit
- Roll of Gorilla Tape duct tape
If you were to add up the total cost of buying all the items individually, it would be somewhat less than $100 – but add in the mini crowbar, the wooden crate, and the experience of opening it – and you’re left with a great value package.
You’re paying a small markup, sure, but it’s an incredibly cool gift idea, and one that will definitely more fun to open than just a gift-wrapped box containing each of the items. Every person with value an experience differently of course – some will place a greater emphasis on the material goods inside – but I for one had a good time with the Man Crate, even if it (probably) doesn’t contain everything you would actually need to survive a real zombie apocalypse.
The Smaller Stuff in the Crate
The smaller stuff is functional, but nothing will really blow you away. The Zombie Survival Guide is an entertaining read, featuring a 4.5 star rating on Amazon. The first aid kit comes with the basics such as a few adhesive bandages, gauze, and so on. It’s small, and will only get you through one or two small cuts, but it’s also light and easy, and the case it comes in is pretty nice.
Unfortunately, the flashlight is pretty cheap. It’s light, which is nice for carrying it around, but I certainly wouldn’t want this to be the only light keeping me alive in a real zombie uprising. It comes with some colored lenses that you can swap in to change the lighting, but they aren’t anything to write home about, and their practicality seems minimal at best.
Gorilla Tape makes awesome, really sticky tape, and while the roll that comes in this crate is small, it’s still some fantastic tape that can be used in both the zombie apocalypse and the real world.
Spam is Spam. I don’t like Spam, and if I was forced to eat it in the apocalypse, I’d probably starve. Additionally, it only last until 2017 according to the date on the bottom of the can, so if you’re relying on this to keep you alive, let’s hope these zombies show up soon.
Again, nothing in here will blow you away, and the flashlight feels pretty cheap and flimsy, but it’s still neat, and when taken as a whole, it makes for a nice little package that’s a lot of fun.
The Machete, aka the Main Event
The biggest, and most noticeable thing in the crate is the 10.75 inch machete. It’s a Gerber Gator Machete Junior, which, as we mentioned previously, sells for a little over $20 on Amazon. So is it a top of the line machete? Certainly not.
Now I’ll admit, I am no knife or sword collector, and my knowledge of things like this aren’t super vast. But here’s what I can tell you: the machete is really sharp and it has a good weight to it, so you could definitely use it to cut through some brush. It also has a serrated edge on the back, so it could be used to cut some small pieces of wood for building a fire, something that would be absolutely critical to surviving in the wilderness.
Of course, if the zombie uprising were to actually occur, you’d probably want to use this as a weapon to kill zombies, and while I have no means to reasonably test if this could cut through a zombie head, it’s pretty sharp, and I would feel confident going all Rick Grimes on some zombies with this in hand.
The handle of the machete feels quite solid, and features a very grippy rubber texture. There’s also a strap that you place your wrist through (think Wiimote), so you can swing it around without worrying about dropping it.
The machete weighs 14.30 oz, and it definitely feels beefy if your hand. It’s not heavy enough to actually feel cumbersome, but it feels like the weight would add to the impact of the swing.
There’s also a rather nice sheath for the blade that velcros closed, allowing you to move around without worrying about your giant blade falling out. It also has a an extra strap that will allow you to attach the sheath to your belt, giving you the ability to keep it close at hand for some good old zombie fighting action.
As I said from the beginning, I make no claim of being a machete, knife, or sword expert, but I will say that this does feel like a pretty nice blade overall, and I would feel pretty good wielding it in my efforts to survive the zombie apocalypse. For the real world, I have no idea what your average person would do with a machete, and it’s obviously a dangerous thing to have, so that’s something to keep in mind if you buy this for yourself or a loved one.
Should You Buy the Zombie Survival Crate?
Whether or not you buy this will depend on how much fun you think opening up a crate will be. I enjoyed it, and would think this was an awesome gift if someone were to buy it for me. It’s not the best value, and when you add in somewhere around $15 for shipping, the markup increases even more over Amazon, but if you know someone who’s really into zombies, they’ll have a hard time not getting a lot of enjoyment out of the package as a whole.
The Zombie Survival Crate is ridiculously good fun.
Note: Most of our competitions are open to worldwide visitors, however due to difficulties shipping a big knife globally, this competition is open to US residents only. Thank you for your understanding.
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