Languages are forever evolving. They have changed a great deal over the last few centuries, as anyone who has ever read classic literature will know. And they’re still changing now, as the emergence of txt spk and suchlike demonstrates.
Some new words and phrases are readily accepted into common parlance, added to dictionaries and crossing over into the mainstream. Others remain confined to the Internet, where they are often overused to the point that they need to die. Preferably, and appropriately, killed with fire.
What It Means: “Ermahgerd” is a stylized form of “Oh My God,” supposedly uttered by someone with a speech impediment caused by them wearing a retainer.
Why It Needs To Die: It has been overused, it is obviously offensive to people with real speech impediments, and it could be used to mock teenagers wearing retainers. In fact, it probably already has been used in such a way.
Associated Words: OMG, Gersberms, and Berks.
What It Means: “Derp” is essentially another way of saying “Duh.” Normally used in response to someone doing or saying something stupid. Often accompanied by pulling a funny face.
Why It Needs To Die: It borders on being offensive to people with learning difficulties. And “duh,” which is an altogether more natural utterance, was doing a fine job well before “derp” arrived on the scene.
Associated Words: Derpy, HerpDerp, and Dumb.
What It Means: “FTW!” is the shortened form of “For The Win!,” which is used to express excitement or enthusiasm over something. The exclamation mark is optional but desirable, with a few too many suggesting sarcasm; sarcasm FTW!!!!
Why It Needs To Die: It’s been used so often it’s lost any meaning it may once have had. Additionally, “FTW” can also mean “F**k The World,” and, as this latter meaning came first, if one has to die then it should be the Internet form of the expression.
Associated Words: For The Win! and Winning.
What It Means: “N00b” means “newbie,” or someone who is new to an activity. It’s usually only uttered when someone does something which shows up their inexperience, either in a video game or elsewhere online.
Why It Needs To Die: This is probably the most overused word on this list, and it’s broken free of its online origins and entered mainstream consciousness. If used seriously, it’s a rather cruel name to call someone who really shouldn’t be expected to yet know what they’re doing.
Associated Words: L33t and N00bish
What It Means: “ROFLcopter” is a l33t version of ROFL. Often used to mock someone who constantly rolls on the floor laughing. Which, as we all know, is something no one has ever done in real life.
Why It Needs To Die: Because it’s stupid, quite frankly. LOL makes sense, ROFL is OK at a push, but “ROFLcopter” is only something uttered by people prone to derping.
Associated Words: Lollerskates, lollercoaster, and LMAOplanes.
What It Means: “FAIL” is a single-word, shorthand description used to specify any kind of failure. Trying to jump over a stream and end up in the water? FAIL. Thinking you can sing before being laughed at while doing karaoke? FAIL.
Why It Needs To Die: As you may have guessed by now, this is another term that we feel is overused to the nth degree. It’s also often used inappropriately, or repeated so often it loses any of its potential meaning.
Associated Words: Epic Fail and NOOb.
What It Means: “Amazeballs” is used to refer to something that’s beyond amazing. Because amazing just isn’t enough these days. “Amaze” and “balls” are both perfectly good words when used individually, but they fit together about as well as fish and ice cream.
Why It Needs To Die: Because it was popularized by Perez Hilton and is stupid. Need I say more? The only time it’s ever appropriate to use “amazeballs” in a sentence is when you’re using it ironically. But it’s a dangerous game to play.
Associated Words: Swag and Totes, the latter of which means “totally” and is often used in conjunction with amazeballs.
What It Means: “Kthxbai” is a douchey way of wrapping up a conversation quickly. It is, if you weren’t already aware, “OK,” “thank you,” and “goodbye” delivered in such quick succession they stop making sense.
Why It Needs To Die: Because it’s completely surplus to requirements. Ask a question and it will be answered. Make a statement and it will be heard. Neither requires the addition of “Kthxbai.”
Associated Words: OK and Kthnxdie.
What It Means: “Pwned” simply means “Owned.” Yes, this expression is nothing but a good, honest, hard-working word ever-so-slightly misspelled. You have owned several pairs of pants in your time, but you have only been pwned if someone gave you a wedgie whilst you were wearing them.
Why It Needs To Die: Owned is a perfectly good word that didn’t deserve to be messed with. So please, let’s just leave it well alone. Or should that be apone.
Associated Words: Pwn, Pwnage, and Pwnt.
What It Means: “FML” is the acronym for “F**k My Life.” It’s usually uttered at the end of a sentence spouted from the melodramatic mouth of an entitled teenager who doesn’t know how lucky they are.
Why It Needs To Die: If people who genuinely had crap lives were using this expression on a regular basis then it wouldn’t be a problem. Instead, it’s used by youngsters for whom life is generally pretty good.
Associated Words: MLIA, meaning “My Life Is Average.”
You may be wondering who I am to demand these expressions die. And you’d be right to think that way, as I am merely a lover of the English language. Nothing more, nothing less.
I’m certainly not against the nurturing of new words and phrases, but I am an advocate for us, as a collective, weeding out those that have overstayed their welcome and hurrying their descent to the grave.
Are you bunch of n00bs with me? If so, then that’s totes amazeballs. Otherwise, this has all been an epic fail. FML. Kthxbai.