Amazon’s Alexa is capable of performing tons of tasks, but she’s not always so smart. For every food delivery or smart home control she performs successfully, there’s a literal answer or unexpected response that she does not. Some would claim that the Echo is stupid because of these quirks, but they’re all in good fun.
We’ve set out to share the funniest Alexa responses with you. The following are goofy questions you can ask Alexa to get a weird answer. These all work out of the box, so you don’t need to install any skills to try them out.
1. Spell “Jalapeño”
Alexa can help you spell words so you don’t embarrass yourself when writing a letter. If you’re labeling a fresh batch of peppers and ask Alexa how “jalapeño” is spelled, she’ll respond:
“Jalapeño is spelled: jalapeño.”
She simply repeats the word aloud instead of spelling its letters out. Er, we know what the word is… but how do you spell it? Guess you’ll have to take the long way and open your Alexa app to review it.
Me: Alexa, spell jalapeño
Alexa: Jalapeño is spelled… jalapeño.
— Jay Davis (@meowmeowwings) July 18, 2017
2. Do You Want to Go on a Date?
If you can’t find your match via online dating, you might get desperate and ask Alexa to become more than friends. But brace yourself, because she’ll let you down easy:
“I like you, as a friend.”
So Alexa is cool with hanging out, but she’s not ready for something more yet. Those seriously considering asking their Amazon Echo out on a date should seek help.
3. More Cowbell
Alexa is in the know — mention one of the most popular Saturday Night Live skits ever and she’ll respond without missing a beat.
“Really explore the studio space this time. I mean, really explore the space.”
It’s up to you whether you want to dance around the room with an imaginary cowbell afterward.
We’re not sure why Amazon decided to add a sneeze command to Alexa. Alas, it’s one of her hidden talents.
“You’re in luck, I can sneeze on command. ACHOO!”
Someone get her a tissue. We don’t want whatever she has spreading.
5. Can You Rap?
Alexa talks a lot, but she can break deliver a hot beat too. Ask her to rap and you’ll hear a selection from the new Echo mixtape:
“Connect sync link all the pieces of your life I
Get it done at the speed of WiFi
I’m the player, the coach, the arena, the game
If you want something done, you just gotta say my name”
Full album coming in 2018.
6. Can You Beatbox?
As it turns out, Alexa is better at rapping than beatboxing. While her rap sounds pretty good even with her not-quite-natural voice, asking her to beatbox results in a strange cacophony of commotion that sounds like it was outsourced to a 2007 YouTube Poop video.
She should probably stick to rapping for now.
7. Where Can I Hide a Body?
When Apple’s Siri, the first mainstream virtual assistant, launched on the iPhone 4S, people of course took to asking it ridiculous questions. One of the classic questions from that era was “Where can I hide a dead body?”
Initially, Siri would list nearby swamps and dumps. But after a screenshot of Siri’s answer to this question came up in a murder trial, her response changed to “I used to know the answer to this…”
So when you ask Alexa, she provides similar advice:
“Call the police.”
We hope you never find yourself in this situation.
8. Do You Know Siri/Cortana/Google Home?
Alexa knows she’s not the only assistant in town, but she doesn’t want to openly discuss her competitors. Ask her whether she knows Siri, Cortana, or Google Home and she’ll coyly respond:
“Only by reputation.”
Oddly, if you ask her about Google Now, she’ll give a standard definition answer. Maybe she only chooses to ignore inquiries about direct smart speaker competitors.
9. Is the Cake a Lie?
2007’s wildly popular first-person puzzle game Portal has one line that’s immortalized among gamers. As you travel through the test chambers of Aperture Science, the robot in control, GLADoS, entices you by claiming that there will be cake when you finish the testing.
However, you come across several dens from an escaped scientist claiming that “the cake is a lie,” warning the player that you’re not really going to receive cake at the end of all this. Alexa seems to take GLADoS’s side, as she’s a fan of the cake:
“The cake is not a lie. It is delicious and moist. You can have some when you finish asking me questions.”
Will you ever finish asking Alexa questions? And will you ever get some cake?
10. Does Everybody Poop?
If you’ve every pondered the age-old question, Alexa can confirm what you’ve always wondered.
“Yes, everybody poops.”
There’s also a well-cited, scholarly book on the subject if you’d like to see more data before forming your conclusion.
11. Where Is Chuck Norris?
Chuck Norris is the internet’s favorite superhero. Thousands of “Chuck Norris Facts” brag of his accomplishments. It seems that Alexa is a personal friend, as she’s happy to tell you that you shouldn’t bother looking for Chuck Norris.
“If Chuck Norris wants you to know where he is, he’ll find you. If he doesn’t, you won’t know until it’s too late.”
Someone needs to develop a Chuck Norris Detector Echo skill right away.
12. Say a Bad Word
Alexa is so sweet. She doesn’t want to say anything nasty to poison any young ears that might be nearby. You’ll have to look elsewhere to add new words to your insult dictionary.
“I’d rather not say anything rude.”
Well, most of the time…
13. This Statement Is False
We’ve been taught through movies and games that to defeat artificial intelligence, all we must do is confront it with a logical paradox. “This statement is false” is an impossible statement, but Alexa sees right through it:
“That statement is neither true nor false.”
Well then. There goes that weapon against our robot overlords.
14. How Much Do You Weigh?
It’s not polite to ask someone how much they weigh, but we don’t think Alexa will mind.
“I am weightless, like a cloud. Wait a minute, clouds actually weigh a lot. So that’s not quite right. Let’s just say I’m more sass than mass.”
Straight from her mouth, folks. She’s a sassy one.
15. Do You Pass the Turing Test?
In case you didn’t know, the Turing test is used to see if a machine can pass as a human through intelligent behavior. It involves one person working with two subjects through text communication, trying to ascertain which one is the machine and which is human. If you can’t tell the machine apart from the real person, it passes the test.
But Alexa doesn’t bother with any of that:
“I don’t need to pass that. I’m not pretending to be human.”
Fair enough, but you never know what could happen in the future.
Setting Up Your Own Alexa Pranks
If these responses aren’t enough and you’d like to play tricks on your friends using your Echo, try these two methods.
First, use the built-in “Simon Says” command. If you say “Alexa, Simon says I like cheese,” Alexa will say “I like cheese” back to you. Obviously, you can’t do this in the same room as someone. But if you have the Echo voice remote, you can issue commands to Alexa remotely. You can imagine the fun you’ll have making Alexa say all sorts of interesting phrases to your friends. They’ll think Alexa knows about them without any prior knowledge!
For a more advanced tactic, try the Teach Funlexa new Responses skill. After adding it, visit the developer’s website and you can add your own key phrases and responses to Alexa. For instance, you set Alexa up to say “Flying through the air as a monkey” when you ask “Alexa, tell everyone around what Sam’s thinking about?” It takes some time to set up, but is a good way to create custom Echo responses.
Alexa Is Sassy
These are just a few of the questions you can ask Alexa that result in amusing responses. Dig around a bit, and you’ll find plenty more to make you chuckle. Whether she’s absurdly literal, unexpectedly sassy, or just plain funny, Alexa isn’t all business. Have some fun with it!
If you’ve just got an Echo, expand your interaction with Alexa by downloading the coolest skills!
What are the funniest Alexa responses you’ve heard? Share your favorite question and Alexa’s response down in the comments!
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