Internet Web Culture

Crappy Crowdfunding: 10 Dumb Kickstarters We Did Not Support [Weird & Wonderful Web]

Dave Parrack 13-07-2014

Crowdfunding Forget Kickstarter: How To Crowdfund From Your Own Website Crowdfunding has taken off in a big way in the past few years. But you don't need to use a service like Kickstarter if you're already running your own popular website. Read More has grown massively in popularity over the last few years. It’s now at the stage where everyone who has an idea, no matter how inane or insane that idea may be, thinks they’ll be able to persuade enough strangers on the Internet to fund their dreams.


Alongside the deluded hopefuls are the chancers, who want free money for effectively nothing in return. Between them these two groups of crowdfunding campaigners are ruining what is essentially a good idea that matches creative people with potential customers.

What follows are 10 of the absolute worst Kickstarter campaigns 7 Ways To Discover Cool Kickstarter Projects Before Anyone Else It's easier to search for interesting projects on the site. We've come up with a list of seven ways to discover interesting and new projects on Kickstarter before anyone else does. Read More we could find. Luckily, none of these were successful, which goes some way to restoring my faith in humanity. Still, just knowing these people thought their campaigns would succeed is rather unsettling.

Please do yourself a favor and watch the campaign videos. They are comedy gold.

An iPhone Case To Prevent Cam-Hacking

The trove of information leaked by Edward Snowden What Is PRISM? Everything You Need to Know The National Security Agency in the US has access to whatever data you're storing with US service providers like Google Microsoft, Yahoo, and Facebook. They're also likely monitoring most of the traffic flowing across the... Read More revealed the lengths the National Security Agency will go to to spy on you. The entirely obvious and eminently sensible next step is COVERING YOUR SMARTPHONE CAMERA UP! Do It Now. NOW!!! Not to worry, as these guys have you, and your phone’s camera, covered. Quite literally.


Paul The Sexy Smartphone Charger

That smartphone charger you have isn’t sexy enough. It just sits there perfunctorily delivering juice to your mobile device. It’s boring, it’s vanilla, it has no phwoar factor. What you need is Paul, a sexy smartphone charger that has a mobile for a penis and a charging cable emerging from his bumhole. Now that is sexy.

Huntagram: Instagram For Hunters

You know what there isn’t enough of on Instagram New To Instagram? Top Tips For Newbies When you’re getting started on Instagram, there are a few tips and tricks to bear in mind to make sure that you hit the ground running. The popular app is part photo-sharing site and part... Read More ? Photographs of dead animals with bullets through their brains and entrails spilling out all over the ground. This is Un-Ac-cept-a-ble. The only way we’ll solve this problem is by starting our own Instagram just for hunters. And we’ll call it… Huntagram. Yeah, that’ll do it.


Play A 3D Game On Your iPhone

Your iPhone 4 is trash. No, not because the iPhone 5 and iPhone 5s have succeeded it, but because it isn’t capable of playing 3D games. Which is bizarre seeing as all you need to do is apply a layer of film onto the screen and “the World’s first True 3D iPhone game” becomes a possibility. We don’t know what the game will look like, but it’ll definitely feature balls. Lots and lots of balls. Balls.

A Watermelon Carrying Strap

I’m sure I’m not the only person who buys watermelons all the time. I mean, I pick them up once or twice a year at least. And on those rare occasions when I do buy a watermelon, I cannot help but wonder why no one has created an easier way of carrying these hefty fruits. Oh wait, they have done, and they’ve called it Watermelon Straps. Simple! Effective! Unnecessary! Pointless!


A New Mobile Operating Operation System

Those guys at Apple, Google, and Microsoft don’t know what they’re doing. They have created these silly mobile operating systems from scratch, and they’re all complete crap. You don’t want iOS, Android, or Windows Phone. What you want is a totally new operation system (yes, operation system) built by one guy in New Zealand. All developed on a shoestring budget of just $10 million. Bargain.

The Cube Of Nothingness

You don’t really want that new smartphone or laptop. Those things are far too complicated. What you want, no, need, is a cube. A cube that does nothing other than be a cube. It’s small, it’s simple, it’s whatever you want it to be. As long as what you want it to be is a cube with no apparent purpose whatsoever. Buy a Cube or be a square.


Two Kids Want Google Glass

No one has ever reviewed Google Glass before. That review of Google Glass on MakeUseOf Google Glass Review and Giveaway We were lucky enough to get a pair of Google Glass to review, and we're giving it away! Read More is all a figment of your imagination. And those think pieces about Google Glass What The Internet Really Thinks Of Google Glass [Weird & Wonderful Web] This week in Weird & Wonderful Web, we take a look at what the Internet really thinks of Google Glass. Some people are in love with this futuristic device, others hate it. What about you? Read More are all hoaxes. What we need is a couple of kids to get their hands on Google Glass in order to review it for us. Because if they don’t, no one else will. They just need $5,000 to buy the damn things first. Oh.

A Clip For Covering Laptop Webcams

Anyone who sticks a piece of tape or Post-It note over the webcam on their laptop is an idiot. Not because the chances of someone accessing your webcam are infinitesimally small, but because there’s now a better option. Someone has invented something called “plastic,” and if shaped into a clip during the manufacturing process, that “plastic” can totally be used to cover up the webcam on your laptop. Mind. Blown.

Your Chance To Buy Nothing

You may think you’re a minimalist who only buys the things you actually need. But are you? Really? No, you’re not, because you haven’t yet bought nothing. Literally, nothing. Nothing is for sale. And all for an asking price of between $50 and $1,000. You’d be a fool to buy nothing when nothing is available. Because nothing is nothing short of something.

Have You Seen A Worse Kickstarter?

This is just a small sample of the terrible crowdfunding efforts that have appeared on Kickstarter in recent years. There are, unfortunately, many more, and we want to know if you’ve seen a Kickstarter campaign more dumb than those detailed above.

Let us know all about them in the comments section below, or alternatively just tell us what you think of these campaigns, Kickstarter itself, or crowdfunding in general. All comments will be read, and most will earn a reply.

Image Credit: Kamryn Dyches via Flickr

Related topics: Crowdsourcing, Kickstarter.

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  1. brian
    May 21, 2015 at 6:24 am

    Over on indiegogo these guys want to decimalise time!

  2. Joseph Hogue
    March 10, 2015 at 3:50 pm

    There are so many projects out there that are really not worth looking in to or supporting, yet they get support, while there are great projects that aren't getting the attention and support they should be getting. I agree, Kickstarter needs to screen these submitted campaigns and make sure that project owners deliver on their promises.

  3. Matthew H
    August 18, 2014 at 2:20 pm

    Basically, any KickStarter that ends up in my inbox. ;)

  4. cptpicard
    July 14, 2014 at 11:31 pm

    Backing the "Mobile Operation System", gets you nothing but a thank you, regardless of how much you pledge!

    • Dave P
      July 15, 2014 at 7:40 am

      That's a bargain then. I hope you pledged! ;)

  5. cptpicard
    July 14, 2014 at 11:25 pm

    One of these people is totally going to repost, with the addition: "As seen on MakeUseOf!"

    • Dave P
      July 15, 2014 at 7:39 am

      Oh, you're right. I wouldn't put it past any of these charlatans.

  6. Gregori G
    July 14, 2014 at 1:02 am

    The weirdest thing is that some people actually fund them hahah

    • Dave P
      July 14, 2014 at 12:12 pm

      You're right. While researching this piece I came across several pointless Kickstarters that had actually been successfully funded to the tune of tens of thousands of dollars. Scary.

    • dragonmouth
      July 14, 2014 at 1:03 pm

      Why? Just goes to show you that anybody can find a kindred spirit on the Internet, no matter how outrageous their views. I know of people who crowdfunded their transgender operations.

    • Dave P
      July 15, 2014 at 7:40 am

      Personally, I would rather fund someone changing their life for the better than some crappy "mobile operation system" or a carrying handle for watermelons. But that's just me.

  7. DonGateley
    July 13, 2014 at 6:01 pm

    By ceasing to vet projects, KickStarter has ceased being relevant. Not that they ever really did, but the illusion at least made the grifters be somewhat sophisticated.

    Now all that it takes to fleece people effectively is a fraudulent yet reasonable and somewhat plausible presentation. If that.

    Crowdfunding must be brought under the laws and oversight of consumer protection agencies. It is now no different than a published catalog of expensive vapor.

    People should be mailing their state's and district attorney's and attorney's general to demand this oversight and accountability.

    • Dave P
      July 14, 2014 at 12:11 pm

      I agree. There needs to be some regulation on these things. Right now, anyone can launch a Kickstarter campaign and never deliver on their promises. Unless someone decides to sue there is no comeback.

  8. Jeff Schallenberg
    July 13, 2014 at 5:43 pm

    Useless? Or just stupid. Kickstarter should really keep out the crap

    • Dave P
      July 14, 2014 at 12:09 pm

      You won't be shocked to hear it was the potato salad that inspired this article! They recently relaxed their rules so expect to see a lot more of this crap on the site.

  9. dragonmouth
    July 13, 2014 at 1:20 pm

    The Cube of Nothingness - a different-shaped Pet Rock

    • Dave P
      July 14, 2014 at 12:08 pm

      If they had described it like that I may well have bought one!