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How to Connect with People & Stop Feeling Lonely

Kayla Matthews 18-12-2015

You can tell an emotion is universally experienced when it receives wide attention in pop music. From The Beatles’ famous refrain, “look at all the lonely people,” in “Eleanor Rigby,” to Wilco’s line, “smile all the time,” from “How to Fight Loneliness,” it’s clear that feeling lonely is a regular part of the human condition.


The American Sociological Association reported on the prevalence of loneliness in in a 2009 survey, which found that an increasing number of Americans feel they have no one to talk to about the most important issues in their lives. Strikingly in the study, 16 percent of Americans with post-graduate degrees reported they have no confidants, up from just one percent in 1985.

The study generated a lot of criticism and comments for its methodology. But it brought into focus the chilly confusion of loneliness.

If you count yourself among this socially isolated group (and not just someone seeking solitude), there are things you can do to change your experience. Start with the Internet, which offers many resources for making friends, finding dates and building community around common interests.

Read on to discover seven of the best apps and websites to connect with people and never feel lonely.

Hinge (Free)

Hinge app


This app promises to help you meet someone “the old-fashioned way” through the modern world of social media. Unlike other dating apps Tired of Tinder? The 10 Best Free Alternative Dating Apps If you're tired of Tinder, there are lots of alternative dating apps available. Here are the best free Tinder alternatives. Read More , you only see candidates who are friends of your friends on Facebook. It’s like having friends set you up on a blind date — but without the awkwardness of the surprise part.

Hinge also helps reduce loneliness by pushing its users to connect in real life. Once you begin to communicate with a match, you only have 2 weeks to exchange contact information and take your relationship off-line or you’ll disappear from each other’s dashboards.

Download: Hinge (iOS)

Chatous (Free)

Chatous app


Loneliness isn’t always about finding love. Sometimes what you really crave is a kindred spirit who shares your love of 16th Century classical music — or whatever your obscure obsession happens to be.

Chatous uses hashtags to connect you with like-minded individuals across the world. You can keep your conversation text-based 3 Useful Apps To Replace Your Mobile Text Messaging Plan Read More or incorporate pictures, videos and audio files.

This app can help cure the blues by connecting you to new friends, some of whom may even live in the same city. You can also keep your identity anonymous — it’s up to you how much you want to share and invest in your Chatous friendships.

Download: Chatous (iOS | Android)


Tastebuds (Free)

Tastebuds app

Speaking of common interests, Tastebuds is devoted to the love of music 6 Unique Apps To Blend Instagram and Music Beautifully How you share your love of music with the Instagram community is part of your unique style, but all music lovers need to know about the following apps. Just in case. Read More . This app helps you make friends in your area by matching people based on their favorite bands and songs.

If you love to go to shows and concerts but would enjoy it even more with a friend, Tastebuds can make your favorite pastime less lonely. And if you’re a musician looking for others to jam or form a band with, you’re likely to find them on Tastebuds.

Download: Tastebuds (iOS)


Party with a Local [Broken URL Removed] (Free)

party with a local app

This app offers pretty much what its title suggests: the opportunity to hang out with a native resident while you’re traveling. Loneliness often coincides with being in a new place, either permanently or just for a week or two.

Use Party with a Local to meet people who’ve lived in the area a long time and can share a fun night out with you. The added benefit is discovering the best bars and nightspots only in-the-know townies can introduce you to.

Download: Party with a Local (iOS | Android)

Happier (Free, Premium options $4.99+)

Happier app

This app describes itself as “your personal mindfulness coach,” and who doesn’t need one of those?

Loneliness is usually a product of letting your thoughts wander to the past or future. You remember some supposedly better, happier time in your life, and it makes you feel sad and lonely in the present. You may also project your dissatisfaction with a current situation onto the rest of your life. For example, you’re single right now, so you get afraid you’ll be single forever.

Happier can help you shake these mindsets by reminding you of the positive in the present moment. Read their selection of inspirational quotes for a quick mood lift or share the best moments from your day with the Happier community.

You can also purchase premium mindfulness packs ranging from $4.99 to $24.99.

Download: Happier (iOS)

4-Week Self-Love Experiment Online Course [No Longer Available] ($25)

self love site

Akirah Robinson is a licensed social worker who focuses on helping women heal from heartbreak and loneliness. This affordable course offers daily exercises in self-love TED Talks: Understanding the Power of Radical Self Love Radical self love emphasizes the importance of caring for yourself, accepting yourself, and not settling for less than what you deserve. Three inspiring TED Talks introduces us to the movement. Read More , questions to inspire reflection and additional resources and videos. After all, as the saying goes, you have to love yourself first before you can expect anyone else to.

The Zen Habits Sea Change Program ($10/month)

sea change site

While it’s not directly targeted at curing loneliness, there are many indirect ways participation in the Sea Change program can help you feel better. Each month focuses on a specific habit change How to Use Micro Habits and Spark Massive Personal Change Creating new habits is hard. Habits are usually built over weeks or months of repetition, and motivation is the challenge. When the going gets tough, micro-habits can be a huge help. Read More , such as de-cluttering or learning to meditate.

With daily emails to guide you through the new habit, you’ll have plenty to do and think about to keep your mind from wandering to thoughts of loneliness.

There’s also a large forum filled with fellow sea changers. You can join an accountability group or ask questions about the obstacles you encounter as you work on the new habit. Connecting with others who are committed to making positive changes in their lives will inspire you to stay on track and adopt a healthier attitude toward your life.

Say Goodbye to Loneliness

Loneliness is more than a bummer — it can have negative effects on your physical health and even increase your risk of death, according to a recent study published in Perspectives on Psychological Science, which states:

“Actual and perceived social isolation are both associated with increased risk for early mortality.”

What’s your loneliness situation? So, what will you do to feel less lonely and enjoy life more? Tell us in the comments section below!

Related topics: Habits, Health, Motivation.

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  1. Don Gateley
    December 19, 2015 at 8:14 pm

    I have an odd gift or maybe a curse such that I've never experienced anything like loneliness in all my 70 years despite there having been more than enough circumstances to elicit it. Unfortunately it has led me to be pretty much a hermit because there is no internal pressure on me at all to socialize and I am fully content with the situation. That has practical negative consequences but no psychological ones I can detect.

    I suspect that it might also be a curse in that there may well be other things normal people feel that I don't which are positive. e.g. I've always wondered whether I really feel the emotion called love the way normal people do. That's a bit like wondering whether I see blue the same way another person does.

    FWIW, there is no other evidence of my being particularly sociopathic. I've always seemed to feel empathy stronger than most.