20 Bizarre New Year’s Resolutions Made on Twitter
Many of us make new year’s resolutions. It’s a way of declaring an intent to improve ourselves in some way, whether big or small. And what better time to do that than the start of a brand new year.
Everyone knows the standard new year’s resolutions: lose weight, get fit, drink less alcohol, save more money, etc. However, some people try to think outside the box and make bizarre new year’s resolutions instead.
What follows are the most bizarre new year’s resolutions we could find on Twitter.
1. Get Lost Without Any Help From Siri
We’re probably all too reliant on GPS now. No one uses maps anymore. And everyone reading this has probably followed Siri or Google blindly and ended up in the wrong location. It’s almost as though technology isn’t perfect.
2. Force Twitter to Add an Edit Button
My #NewYearsResolution is to not hit "Tweet" before I've finished writi
— DaveP (@DavePee) January 10, 2019
Yes, this is my own tweet, and yes, it’s just a joke. However, it’s based on a half-truth, as I have been known to tweet too quickly. And the lack of an edit button means deleting the tweet and starting over. Dan you, Twitter!
3. Check Facts Before Sharing on Social Media
— Alex Strachan (@astrachanideas) January 1, 2019
This is certainly an unusual new year’s resolution, but it’s also very good advice. Too many people now share stories on social media blindly without first checking their veracity. Let the fake news fightback begin!
4. Stop Kids From Eating Dirt
Eat less dirt. #NewYearsResolutionsForKids
— .:RiotGrl:. (@RiotGrlErin) December 28, 2018
If your child is actually eating dirt on a regular basis you may have bigger problems than you think. Sadly, there’s probably more nutrients in a bowl of dirt than a lot of the fast food kids consume these days. Preach.
5. Stop Kids From Flossing in Public
— Billie (@Billie_Jean00) December 28, 2018
Surely this is one new year’s resolution we can all get behind. Yes, we get it, you play Fortnite and have mastered the art of flossing. No one cares. Every other kid can do it, and so can some infantile adults too.
6. Watch Every Episode of Power Rangers
— Timster (@Tim_Foolery91) January 10, 2019
Why? Why would anyone want to watch every episode of Power Rangers? This show wasn’t good enough to justify watching when it first came out, let alone now, 20-odd years later. Especially when Black Mirror: Bandersnatch exists.
7. Rule the World
#NewYearsResolution Rule The World
— Sayuri (@EvilImouto) January 10, 2019
It doesn’t get any more blunt than this. You want to rule the world, and you’re not going to take any prisoners. It might be a touch ambitious to think you’ll achieve world domination in just 12 months, but anything is possible.
8. Try New Things, Including Absinthe
It's official! I tried Absinthe last night. It tasted a lot like the original NyQuil green death flavor but definitely made me a tiny bit tipsy. Here's to my #NewYearsResolutions2019 to try new things! ? pic.twitter.com/Dfz4CNcJbI
— Little Dream Gemi (@LittleDreamGemi) January 1, 2019
Resolving to try new things is fairly common. After all, we tend to get stuck in a rut doing the same things all of the time. However, demonstrating your willingness to try new things by drinking absinthe probably isn’t the best idea.
9. Stop Procrastinating, But Not Today
— Vittorio Anastasio (@sfvito) January 1, 2019
Humans would get so much more done if we all learned not to procrastinate. Unfortunately, a desire to push things back to tomorrow, and then the next day, and then next week, seems to be inbuilt into all of us.
10. Wash My Bras More Often
Anyone else have mundane or odd #NewYearsResolutions2019 ? Some of mine are:
– wash my bras more often
– bake bread at least once a month
– finally get those toddler stickers off the pantry door
— E.K. Reisinger (@EKReisinger) January 1, 2019
Sometimes one bizarre new year’s resolution isn’t enough. Sometimes it takes a trio to really hammer the point home. Baking bread and removing stickers are both good ideas, but publicly stating a desire to wash your bras more often is slightly odd.
11. Always Leave One Potato Chip
Every time I eat a pack of crisps I'll leave one crisp. #NewYearsResolutions2019
— Harrison Scriver (@HarrisonScriver) January 1, 2019
I’m guessing this is a way of getting used to leaving food alone when you’re full. Too many people will consume everything on their plate regardless of whether or not they’re full. However, using the same rule for potato chips seems strange.
12. Don’t Make Any New Year’s Resolutions
My New Year's resolution was not to make anymore resolutions, and to just do the right thing all year. #NewYearsResolutions2019
— Clarrise (@ClarisseBeauty_) January 9, 2019
If your new year’s resolution is to not make any more new year’s resolutions then you’ve failed spectacularly. Especially when you even use the #NewYearsResolutions2019 hashtag to make your promise even easier to find.
13. Tweet What You Really Think
#NewYearsResolution gonna tweet what I really think
— Rachael ???? (@rachalsaurusrex) December 30, 2018
A lot of people express a desire to say what they really think, and stop holding back. However, tweeting what you really think is a risky move, especially in the current climate when anything you say can and will be used against you.
14. Look As Glamorous As a Toddler
— Deirdre (@deirje) December 31, 2018
There’s no denying this little girl does look glamorous and pouty. However, trying to retain that look into adulthood is unlikely to go down well. The blurriness of this photo is also a reminder that technology has improved massively.
15. Eat More Meat
I will eat more meat in 2019 #NewYearsResolution
— Rodney Howard-Browne (@rhowardbrowne) December 30, 2018
Vegetarianism and veganism are both growing trends. People are increasingly looking at alternatives to eating meat. But not this fella. He wants to go against the grain and eat more meat. Because who cares about animals?!
16. Use My Gym Card More Often
— Michael Clarke (@Mr_Mike_Clarke) December 31, 2018
Obvious joke is obvious. Still, this is one of those tweets where the image is essential for context. Without the image, promising to use your gym card more often is a safe, traditional resolution. But that Swiss roll changes everything.
17. Don’t Put Things Off So Much
My goal for 2019 is to accomplish the goals of 2018 which I should have done in 2017 because I promised I would in 2016 after I planned them in 2015…. #NewYearsResolutions
— Gregory Arlt (@gregoryarlt) December 28, 2018
While many of us make goals for the year ahead, how many of us actually manage to achieve them? This guy clearly never does, as he’s had the same goals since 2015. I’d wager a bet that he’ll make the same resolution next year as well.
18. Visit the Semiotic Field More Often
— Jan Mieszkowski (@janmpdx) January 3, 2019
I’ll admit I had to Google this one, and I’m glad I did. Semiotics is the study of signs and sign processes. So, given that the location in the image houses both a tree and a sign for a tree, it’s a literal semiotic field. Clever.
19. Make Everything Bigger
Bigger bank account and booty for 2019 ?? #NewYearsResolutions
— Danielle Capri (@DanielleCapri) January 4, 2019
Money makes the world go around, which is why a lot of us spend our lives trying to make more of it. So wanting to have a bigger bank account makes perfect sense. Wanting to have a bigger booty though? That’s another matter entirely.
20. To Be As Happy As Brian
This dog is called Brian, and he’s having a haircut. And judging by the look on his face, he’s very happy with the results. We should all aspire to be as happy as Brian, even if we’re not all blessed with such a fine head of hair.
Help Sticking to Your New Year’s Resolutions
Whatever time of year you’re reading this you may want help sticking to your new year’s resolutions. Even if you’ve already blown this year’s resolutions, there’s always next new year to focus on. Thankfully, there is some help out there.
As we’re a technology site our recommendation is to use tech to help, and this is the best tech to help you stick to your new year’s resolutions . There’s also a host of apps to help you make and keep new year’s resolutions . So why not give them a try.
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