Biting Satire: The 20 Best Tweets About Luis Suarez’ World Cup Bite [Weird & Wonderful Web]
Whether you love or hate football, you will have no doubt heard that one player bit another player in the shoulder during the FIFA World Cup. The biter being Uruguayan striker Luis Suarez, who decided to gnaw at Italian defender Giorgio Chiellini. The referee missed the incident, but the cameras caught it perfectly.
It was the bite that spawned a million tweets, or at least what felt like a million tweets, and we have compiled the best reactions to Luis Suarez’ moment of madness just for you. The great thing is you don’t even need to be a football fan to appreciate the level of creativity and sense of humor that went into these tweets.
With Some Fava Beans & A Nice Chianti
— Jose Hidalgo (@JoseH1dalgo) June 24, 2014
Hannibal Lector likes eating people. And after biting at least three of his opponents it’s becoming clear Suarez does as well. Fetch the gimp mask!
Apple Bites Back
— Bodg, Matt and JoJo (@BodgMattandJoJo) June 25, 2014
Like me, you’ve probably always wondered why Apple’s logo has a bite taken out of it. Now we know the reason; Suarez got a little peckish.
— Gaetano Di Palo (@GaetanoDiPalo) June 25, 2014
The truth is out. Luis Suarez isn’t a Uruguayan striker at all, he’s a cloned Tyrannosaurus rex known either as Tyrannosuarez rex or Tyrannosaurus suarex.
Cinnamon, Sugar, & Shoulder
— CinnamonToastCrunch (@CTCSquares) June 24, 2014
I can’t imagine sugary cereal tastes anything similar to human shoulder. I wouldn’t know, not having tasted human shoulder. We had better ask Suarez instead.
— Honest Toddler (@HonestToddler) June 24, 2014
Most children grow out of their teething problems very quickly. Luis Suarez is 27-years-old and yet still feels the need to gnaw on something hard once in a while.
Suarez Eats Pac-Man
Somewhere Luis Suarez is waiting for his ban to be announced, in the meantime he’s been playing Pac-Man. pic.twitter.com/bydqW7h6fJ
— SportlobsterFootball (@Football_SL) June 26, 2014
Everybody loves Pac-Man . Everybody hates (or pities) Luis Suarez. This makes them a perfect match. Waka, waka, waka.
Luis Suarez first day at school pic.twitter.com/z6ZQMmxXe7
— Monkey Sponge (@monkey_sponge) June 24, 2014
Luis Suarez’ habit of biting people for no reason isn’t a new one. His parents tried to help him when he was a kid, but it’s difficult to play football in a strait jacket.
— Specsavers (@Specsavers) June 25, 2014
OK, enough jokes. Poor old Suarez couldn’t help himself. He just got confused between Chiellini and canneloni. We’ve all done it, right?
The Cone Of Shame
Luis Suarez should wear one of these next season pic.twitter.com/sPPSkmJcoF
— (@medzzzx) June 24, 2014
I’m not saying Luis Suarez is a dog, but maybe a treatment normally reserved for a dog is suitable for the Uruguayan striker on this occasion.
The Walking Suarez
The Walking Suarez pic.twitter.com/pWZX2Ls5hi
— Footy Humour (@FootyHumour) June 24, 2014
We all knew the zombie apocalypse was going to arrive one day. We just didn’t know a World Cup footballer chomping on an opponent would be the first sign.
A Beer With Bite
— Bud Light (@budlight) June 24, 2014
This is all kinds of ironic given that Bud Light isn’t exactly known for its bite. That was until Suarez got involved in the brewing process. Now, it bites back hard.
Panini Stickers Come Unstuck
— Daniel Bennetts (@DanBennetts) June 24, 2014
Panini sticker albums the world over need updating to be truly representative of the current state of Chiellini’s shoulder. Or at least what’s left of it.
Nom Nom Nom
— Sportsbet.com.au (@sportsbetcomau) June 25, 2014
Luis Suarez is still claiming he didn’t actually bite Chiellini, despite video evidence to the contrary. This picture, which hasn’t been tampered with at all , is proof.
A Plea For Help
— OldSparky (@EunoiaEuphoria) June 24, 2014
Let’s not be too harsh on Luis Suarez. He’s just poor and hungry, and resorting to biting the shoulders of fellow footballers whenever he can. Give generously.
Snickers Satisfies Suarez
— SNICKERS® (@SNICKERS) June 24, 2014
Brands acted quickly when this incident occurred, and Snickers nailed it by suggesting Suarez grab some chocolate the next time he’s feeling peckish.
Luis Suarez next season pic.twitter.com/3lOfc8qnMj
— Football Funnys (@FootballFunnys) June 24, 2014
Dangerous dogs are often fitted with muzzles to stop them attacking children when hero cat isn’t around to save the day. It’s the perfect solution for Suarez too.
World Cup Buffet
— Sportsbet.com.au (@sportsbetcomau) June 25, 2014
This wasn’t a premeditated act, it was all just a big misunderstanding. Someone told Suarez there was a buffet, and he assumed they meant during the game.
Hungry Hungry Suarez
It was really a promo for Luis Suarez’s new children’s game. pic.twitter.com/w6JJddj5zx
— Pierre The Pelican (@PelicanPierre) June 24, 2014
Forget Hungry, Hungry Hippos, the new game popular amongst kids is Hungry, Hungry Suarez. It’s exactly the same game, except with Suarez instead of hippos.
Suajaws: The Revenge
— ChristopherDReed (@Chrisreed619) June 24, 2014
What has big, pointy teeth and a penchant for biting flesh? Why, Luis Suarez, of course. And, to a lesser extent, sharks.
I guess any part of the body is up for eating.
— Evander Holyfield (@holyfield) June 24, 2014
The final word on this incident must go to Evander Holyfield, the heavyweight boxer who had half his ear bitten off by Mike Tyson. He knows what he’s talking about, he just can’t hear you if you answer him back. Badum-tish.
Unlike Suarez, We Don’t Bite…
Were you as shocked by Suarez biting Chiellini as the rest of the world? Is it destined to be the biggest talking point of the whole of the 2014 World Cup ? Have you seen an even better/funnier/smarter tweet referencing the incident than those we have featured here? Let us know your thoughts in the comments section below.
Image Credit: Greg Westfall via Flickr