Twitter has been around long enough to attract all types, and with time archetypes emerge, and continue to repeat themselves. There are quite a few stereotypical Tweeters, the kind of which we could definitely use less of.
This is just a short list of some of the tweeters out there that we love to hate.
The Noob has just signed up for Twitter and only has a few updates. Their first tweet is always something like Hmmm”¦ New to twitter or Just trying to figure out this Twitter thing or So what’s Twitter all about?
In their defence, the first tweet is always the hardest. They can often be found asking for advice on how to use Twitter, but when you have no followers, no one’s listening. And when you’re new to Twitter, you don’t know that no one but your followers listen to you, and when you’re trying to get followers”¦.
What was I saying?
The Narrator (On Steroids)
The Narrator feels the need to inform you of every minute of their day, from the very first, Good Morning Twitterville, to a final Night Tweeps with every little detail of their day in between.
These Tweeters aren’t all that smart either. A few of these unfortunate souls have been known to geotag their tweets, so it really wouldn’t be hard to track them down and bludgeon them with the laptop, phone or computer, or whatever else they’re using to send out their updates. Not that we’re encouraging that.
The Quiz Taker
I don’t know about you, but I don’t care which character you are in Harry Potter, I’m not interested in what Michael Jackson song represents your current relationship, and I really don’t want to know if you’re a Twilight expert. Unfortunately, there are a lot of people on Twitter who seem to think that this is exactly the kind of information we want from them. They take quiz upon quiz and inform us of each and every answer.
The same people who spend hours playing Farmville and Mafia Wars on Facebook, are on Twitter. Instead of playing Farmville, you’ll find them playing Ninja Clash and Spymaster. They are the 21st Century’s answer to Dungeons and Dragons, the difference being that they are trying to drag us down with them. Their updates consist of a long list of moves, attacks, and defeats in this virtual world that has pretty much replaced their real one.
The Trend Whore
There are many variants of people on Twitter just desperate for some attention. The most obvious of these are the Trend Whores. They take a look at the trending topics and try to cram as many of them as possible into one Tweet, regardless of whether or not it makes sense. What they don’t realise is that it’s not going to gain them any popularity points as people are more likely to think they’re spam bots, and block them into oblivion.
Every other word in a tweet is not meant to be a hashtag. But you’re out of luck trying to convince Hashtaggers of this. Their updates are littered with hashtags, although that does make it easier to click any given link and escape their page .
They want to turn up in every possible search on Twitter, and clearly think that every other word they say has some sort of importance.
An even more annoying variant of The Hashtaggers are the ones who repeat the same hashtag over and over in one tweet, and sometimes repeat that one tweet over and over ad infinitum. This is usually an attempt to get one word or another into the trending topics.
The sad part is that they don’t realise that Twitter doesn’t actually count repeated hashtags in one tweet. These Tweeters are often very closely related to the next archetype, The Justin Bieber Fan.
The Justin Bieber Fan
These are probably the most lethal of all Tweeters, because they will push you to the brink of insanity, making you want to find the nearest cliff, to fling yourself off of it. Their Twitter backgrounds are adorned with pictures of Justin Bieber and they tweet about nothing other than, you guessed it, Justin Bieber.
They have clubs, and cliques, and are constantly battling to keep Justin Bieber in the trending topics. They send him @ replies, in the smallest hope that, maybe just maybe, he’ll read what they wrote and fall madly in love with them. They, of course, would also settle for a simple Twitter reply, after which they can die happy tweens.
Justin Bieber can also be easily substituted with the Jonas Brothers in most cases.
What other kinds of Twitter archetypes can you think of? Let us know in the comments.
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