I’ve taken a look at the top Reddit commenters that drive me nuts, and I’ve also told you what you need to stop posting on Facebook. However, what if you smash those two topics together? Well, you get the top stereotypes that exist on Facebook!
Now, not all Facebook stereotypes are bad (there are maybe two of them that are okay…) However, it’s up to you to decide, so let’s look at them all.
We all have the Tech on our Facebook Friend List. Heck, he may very well be a writer for MakeUseOf! However, whenever you post a status update that is something like “my laptop’s hard drive has opened a portal to Hell and the cat is stuck inside my desktop’s fan”, the Tech is on the ready.
Immediately, he will do everything within his ability to fix it. Your Facebook wall will transform into a troubleshooting session that is better than any professional service! Also, their advice will actually work… sometimes.
The RE:Fwd Master
Remember a little thing called email? That was to be before Facebook and when Orwell’s Newspeak became mainstream. But all jokes aside, you know of chain emails, right?
FORWARD THIS MESSAGE TO 30 FRIENDS BY 7 PM TONIGHT AND A MAGICAL WHALE WILL BE ON YOUR PORCH TOMORROW MORNING!!!
These are the types of bizarre messages that are sometimes sent out via friends and on other occasions via the workplace. However, this monstrosity has been revived on Facebook through the RE:Fwd Master. The RE:Fwd Master tends to post chain-eque status updates on their status updates, and I utterly hate it.
By the way, if you post a YouTube video of yourself in the comments saying “RE:Fwd Master” five times fast, I’ll let you be my friend on Facebook. True story.
The Disgruntled Citizen
Zuckerberg created Facebook, and honestly, Zuckerberg reserves the right to change it however he wants (much like a certain George Lucas). However, whenever Facebook makes a change, 99% of the posts on my feed become devoted to “how horrible” the new changes are. The remaining 1% are about cats being stuck in desktop fans.
It seems as though this stereotype compares itself a disgruntled citizen frustrated with the new laws that his dictator has instated. Well, truth be told, the Disgruntled Citizen hasn’t done much for Zuckerberg (save for being a demographic that builds ad revenue), but in my opinion, Zuckerberg sure has done a lot for the Disgruntled Citizen.
The Personal Cheerleader
The Personal Cheerleader is not a bad Facebook stereotype. As a matter of fact, I feel that this is the stereotype that everyone loves. These are the people who take time out of their day to sit down, look at what you have posted, and encourage you in some form or fashion. I love the Personal Cheerleaders, and the world needs more of them.
Alternatively, there is the Personal Stalker. These types do exactly what the Personal Cheerleader does except with a bit of a creepy twist. Their motives may not be as pure as the Personal Cheerleaders’, and chances are that they just want to have you over for dinner, or in extreme cases, have you for dinner. (F-s-s-s-s….)
The Insensitive Commenter
Occasionally, we will post tragic news on our Facebook page about a death in the family or a lost opportunity. These are all very terrible, and there is nothing funny about that at all. However, there are some people who entirely disregard the content of your Facebook status update and utilize the comment section as their own personal way to contact you. Say, for instance, that you have updated your status to something about your cat dying in a tragic fan accident. This will typically be the response of the Insensitive Commenter:
HEY. I WANTED TO KNOW IF YOU COULD PAY ME BACK FOR THAT PIZZA I BOUGHT YOU LAST FRIDAY. LOL.
People, they exist. You know that they exist. As a matter of fact, you may be one of them. It’s a shame, but we’ve all experienced them.
The Relationship Monitor
I’ve discussed this before somewhere out on the seas of the Internet, but you will notice that every single time someone updates their relationship status to single (or in some cases, paired up) there will always be that one individual who acts absolutely shocked and surprised – “WHAT?!” or “WHY DID Y’ALL BREAK UP?!” seem to be common responses. Here we have the Relationship Monitor, one of my least favorites.
One variation of the Relationship Monitor would be the fellow who sympathizes with the poor girl who fell victim to such a break-up. He will write things such as, “I’M SO SORRY!” and “IF YOU EVER NEED TO TALK, JUST CALL ME, OKAY?”
Well, we all know his ulterior motives. He wants the girl for himself! If it were up to me, I would say that everyone should just leave the person alone. On the other hand, maybe folks shouldn’t publicize their break-up on Facebook, either.
What is your favorite (or least favorite, rather) type of Facebook stereotype? Do you have any others? Which ones frustrate you the most?