Social media has changed relationships as we know it. If you’re dating someone, it’s public, and unfortunately, some portions of your relationship are, too.
In the past, relationships were treated a bit like a slow cooking dinner. They developed and grew over time. But with social media, many relationship features are expedited ever so slightly. Since all of your significant other’s info is out in the open, this may prove to be a problem. In fact, it can completely ruin romance.
It’s Hard Bringing Anyone Home To Mom Anymore
Used to, you planned for it: the day he comes to meet your parents.
Back then, it meant something — they didn’t know him! But we now live in a citizen surveillance state. Don’t think for a minute that your parents haven’t already snooped on his online social profiles. Googling anyone is pretty darn easy these days.
What’s the remedy for this? Sadly, private profiles, and most people would recommend doing this anyway. But honestly, it might be a bit awkward to ask, “Sweetheart, do you mind adjusting your Facebook privacy settings until you meet my family?”
While you can’t make such a request, at least you can take the initiative and change your settings to make the experience a bit more special for your SO. Make those settings private so when it’s time to meet Ma and Pa, they will feel like they are officially meeting you for the first time.
Your Dating History: Permanent Record!
Unless you opt to go in and delete every single post, comment, and photo, your past dating life is pretty much permanent on Facebook (and in some cases, even Twitter). While it’s certainly easy to remove a “JOEY IS IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH MANDY” story, it’s not as easy to get rid of all the silly tags and notes you typically have in a relationship.
That said, whoever you date will also experience who you formerly dated. This isn’t necessarily a bad thing — it’s a part of your life, after all. But depending on who you were and who you were dating in the past, some things are best left unseen.
Wasted Meaningful Conversation
Too often conversations via Facebook, email, and text messaging allows for instant satisfaction for either party. That is, if you have something serious or deep you would like to eventually talk about with your SO, you may not necessarily wait until you see them in person. It’s incredibly easy to think, “I wonder what she thinks about what happens after we die,” and send off a text right away.
An easy way to remedy this is to avoid deep topics all together via text. Instead, use text messages for their original purpose: short, brief notes that are more convenient than making a phone call.
Unwrapping A Person’s Life Is Just Too Easy
There are certain conversations that must be had in any relationship:
- Tell me about your first boyfriend!
- What are your spiritual beliefs?
- Show me some pictures of you when you were a kid.
- Where did your family used to vacation?
- What are your hopes and dreams in life?
All of these — through the power of social media — are now incredibly easy to uncover.
Maybe you don’t have to upload each and every thing about yourself to Facebook. Perhaps it’s possible to leave a little to the imagination.
I Want You To Meet My Friends! Oh. Wait.
It’s inevitable. As soon as you become Facebook official, all of your friends are going to add your new beau.
They are going to creep on him. Snoop through his pictures. Look at all his status updates from way back in 2008. That’s each and every single one of his posts.
Again, this may be relieved by privacy settings, but, eh, probably not. This is just a fact of life, and hopefully, your friends just aren’t nosy.
What To Do?
As mentioned above, many of these problems can be remedied by better privacy settings. And here, we’ve got you covered. From making sure you don’t appear in weird Graph Searches and helping you through Facebook’s latest privacy settings, all the way to a complete Facebook privacy guide. Just take your pick, and bring back some romance to your life!