Adult Swim is an American cable television network aimed primarily at adults with infantile senses of humor. That’s not an insult, as I class myself in that target demographic. I like classy, clever comedy too, but when it comes down to it I’ll laugh uproariously at a well-timed swearword or jokes about farting in public. I just can’t help it. Laughing, that is, not farting.
This toilet humor with a slightly risqué edge has also found its way into the games Adult Swim offers for free on its website. These games don’t contain anything vile or absolutely unforgivable, but they will be slightly offensive to some. This is both a warning and a promise, depending on your level of sensitivity.
There are over 100 games available to play on Adult Swim Games, all of which are free and of a simple nature. The quality does vary, however, with some not worth wasting your time with. What follows are five that are just ever so slightly offensive, but which are also very worthy of your attention. Don’t click through and play any that are likely to offend you personally, and if you do so despite this warning, please just don’t tell my boss.
In Coma you play Pete, who inhabits a strange world which looks to be located somewhere between the conscious and subconscious. The title of the game suggests the main protagonist is stuck in a coma from which he needs to somehow escape, but all may not be as it first appears.
This is a game that features a compelling storyline and looks absolutely beautiful. All of the backgrounds are simple but exquisite, and the in-game music and sound effects are spot on in terms of atmosphere and mood. The controls are also simple enough that anyone, no matter their previous level of experience playing games, will be able to immediately pick it up.
Offensive, how? This is the least offensive game on the list, but it still features a man in a coma, which has to be a first.
We all know there’ll be a zombie apocalypse one day, right? With all the TV shows and movies depicting such a future it’s surely going to prove to be a self-fulfilling prophecy. Are you prepared for the occasion? Weapons at hand and a fridge stocked full of beer? You might not be but some people are.
On this occasion it’s prostitutes who are fighting to survive. Against, you guessed it, other prostitutes. The ones that have survived unscathed are going to take the zombie hordes down any way they see fit. And then they’re going to get straight back down to business. The visuals of Zombie Hooker Nightmare are simple, the gameplay fun, and everyone likes zombies, so why not zombie hookers?
Offensive, how? You play a hooker killing fellow hookers who have succumbed to the plague. And then you charge other survivors for sex, Need I go on?
This title is proof, if proof were needed, that games don’t need to be complex and involving to be any good. This isn’t just good, it’s great, though the replay value is almost zero. While it lasts, however, it’s about as much fun as you can have with your clothes on.
As the name suggests, the aim of the game is to kill your character in under five minutes. After a brief introduction the countdown begins, and you then have 300 seconds to do as much damage to your avatar as possible. The damage inflicted accrues until it, hopefully, hits 100%. At which point your character shuffles off the mortal coil. There are various iterations of this game on the site, but Reloaded is my favorite.
Offensive, how? You’re an office worker trying to off himself in as obtuse a way as possible. That offends me, and I don’t even work in a cubicle.
Being a surgeon is a responsible, skilled, important job that someone has to do. Someone who has had years of medical training, who has a strong stomach, and who won’t blithely start cutting into people without first carefully considering the consequences of doing so. At least in the real world.
In Amateur Surgeon these rules fly out of the window. You play Alan Probe, a budding amateur surgeon who just needs a little guidance from a skilled professional in order to live out his fantasies. When that chance lands at his feet he takes it, and you guide the hand of Probe as he commits acts of savage surgery on random people. It’s like the Operation board game of old, just in digital form.
Offensive, how? Is it offensive to inflict pain and suffering on others even though you’re actually trying to help them? That depends if you’re giving the wrong treatment on purpose, I guess.
The Bible is a revered book that millions of people read every single day. They get to know the people whose stories populate the pages, and take to heart the positive messages contained within the good book. But they don’t ever get to see these legends fight each other. Which is shameful.
Bible Fight sees you pick a character from the likes of Jesus, Mary, and Moses, and then a venue in which to fight from the likes of the Garden Of Eden, Noah’s Ark, and Heaven. And then it’s time to have a biblical face-off. Every character has special moves, and it’s possible to build some devastating combos. But mostly you’ll just be button-mashing as with all the
worst best fighting games.
Offensive, how? You choose a character from the Bible and then beat the crap out of another character from the Bible. That’s offensive to at least one group I can think of… beat em’ up fans.
You’ll be reading this sentence either: 1. Having not played any of the games and not being offended as a result. 2. Having not played any of the games and still come out offended just because you’re that way inclined. 3. Having played some of the games and laughed your socks off. Or 4. Having played some of the games and been rightly offended, but entertained at the same time. Whichever applies to you, congratulations are in order for reaching this far in the article.
Now take to the comments section to let us know just how offended you were by these games, or if, like me, you rose above the slightly cringe worthy humor and saw the awesomeness of the games hiding beneath. Are there any of the other games on Adult Swim you particularly enjoy? Or does this short list represent the best of the best?
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