What do you do when the XBox 360 has gone down, your Nintendo DSi is on the fritz, and even your board games aren’t around because you sold them at your yard sale? You and some friends, sitting around on your thumbs is no way to spend Saturday night.
What you need are Hand Games! Everyone with hands can play them, and we all have hands! OK, most of us have hands. Those that don’t can referee or be enthusiastic spectators! Don’t know what a hand game is? Sure you do. We’ll start with a classic hand game. Rock, Paper, Scissors.
The sheer magnitude of the Rock Paper Scissors world is beyond comprehension. I couldn’t believe what I saw at this site. Did you know that there is a $10,000 World Championship sponsored by Yahoo!?
The World RPS site is a lot of fun and little fact. They talk about how using RPS was made a legal way to make a binding decision in London, England in 1842. Not true. Entertaining, but not true. Apparently, RPS had its start in Japan as Jan Ken Pon. That’s from Wikipedia, so that might not be true as well. For some reason, it seems more logical to me though.
Nevertheless, if you are looking for a definitive guide to the Ro Sham Beau hand game, this is the site. Study the Great 8 Gambits, look into the psychology of the game and some of finer details such as ‘shadowing’ and ‘broadcasting false tells’.
There are also very detailed rules for the game that you might want to incorporate into your daily play. Does someone doubt the validity of a move? Maybe you can’t decide to throw on 3 or do 3 and then throw. The rules will guide you, my hand-jiving friend, the rules will guide you.
Monochrom’s Massive Multiplayer Thumbwars
Maybe RPS is too hard to get a hand on. Maybe you’re just all thumbs when it comes to hand games. If that’s the case, I’m sure you’d excel at the latest in thumb wars – multiplayer! No more one on one, with your cousin with the freakishly monkey like thumb that reach your thumb even while it’s still in the air. Level the playing field by bringing in the rest of the mutated family and friends.
There are oh-so-many ways to thumb wrestle, I’m surpised there isn’t a world championship for this as well. Check out the basic four-player situation:
Got a few more people to play with? Maybe your at a family reunion and all the moonshine is already gone. Uncle Bob is looking for a fight and Great Aunt Marcie is willing to give him one, so all the cousins jump in. Why have that same old fist fight again? Settle with a thumb war a la the ‘Down Under’ configuration. Everyone has their hands together so they can’t start swinging AND they are in a prime position to aspirate without starting another fight.
Seriously though, I think wearing shoes like those demands fisticuffs.
I would rather be in a fist fight with a multi-armed Indian god than play mercy again. Certainly this hand game is responsible for more broken and/or dislocated fingers than all the car-doors and nose-picking accidents combined. If you’ve never played – ignore what I just said. Read up on the rules and play with a friend. It’s jolly good clean fun!
The point of the game is to interlock fingers as though you were intimately holding hands, and then try to crush your opponents knuckles and inflict carpal tunnel syndrome until they bellow with their last breath, “Mercy!” Apparently there are some regional differences in what is said to signify your submission: “Peanuts!” or “Danny Stavros Buck”, “Pinochle” or “Uncle”. All of which make no sense to me except “Uncle”. Who the heck is Danny Stavros Buck? By the time I spit that chestnut out, I would have lost several fingers indeed!
So now that you and your gameless buddy’s have used your hands to the limit for fun and pleasure, you might want to consider some Aspercream or Voltaren Emulgel. The Voltaren seems to work especially quick. Honestly.
Once you’ve got your fingers working again, drop us a line and let us know about your favourite hand games. Maybe you had a particularly epic one. Give a shout in the comments!
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