20 Original & Funny Facebook Statuses

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funny facebook statusesFacebook is not only a great way to reconnect and stay in touch with friends, relatives, and interesting people. It is also a rich source for entertainment. And I don’t mean the mindless games The Top Five Idle Time Facebook Games The Top Five Idle Time Facebook Games Read More and psycho tests.

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While it seems that most of us lead a rather eventless lives, there are people out there who can fit a meaningful message or funny story in 140 characters. Wouldn’t you like to receive their status updates? Or maybe you would rather be such a creative mind yourself!

Gather up some inspiration and get those creative juices flowing! Here are 20 original and funny Facebook status messages that are different.

People with Problems

  • You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your Facebook. No way you were getting out of a DUI.
  • The most awkward part of meeting new people is when my kids say, “Please help us.”
  • I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
  • If at first you don’t succeed, try drinking beer while you do it. You’ll be amazed at how much less you care.
  • He let me duct tape his mouth because I said it was my fetish; I really just wanted him to shut up.

funny facebook statuses

For Halloween

  • Eat, drink and be scary.
  • I am dying to have a great Halloween with you.
  • … wants to remind you this Halloween, that as a general rule, don’t solve riddles that open portals to Hell.
  • … wonders if he’s getting old, or if others also ask for high-fiber candy only on Halloween?
  • … thinks that cauldron of Halloween candy has been undressing me with its eyes from across the room all night…come here you.

funniest facebook statuses ever

For the New Year

  • I will stop using FB as a tool of procrastination and actually do some homework.
  • I will avoid taking a bath whenever possible and conserve more water.
  • I resolve to work with neglected children. (my own).
  • I will stop judging myself on how many people I have on my friends list. Also, stop taking posed, extreme angle profile pics…if you know me you know what I really look like!
  • I will try to find a way to politely lose the 4 most annoying Facebook friends.

funny facebook statuses

For Uninspired Times

  • Insert coin to view status message.
  • If you have a parrot and you don’t teach it to say,”Help, they’ve turned me into a parrot”, you are wasting everybody’s time.
  • The obscure we see eventually. The completely obvious, it seems, takes longer.
  • When I was born I was so surprised, I didn’t talk for a year and a half.
  • … is cle’a[ni.ng hi’s ke]yb36oa;rd

Need more inspiration? Check out the following pages and my resources for Funny Facebook Statuses:

Also check out our other articles on Facebook:

So what was your funniest Facebook status update ever? Please post your favorites in the comments.

Image credits: michaelaw, pascal79, gabriel77

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  1. Rppgoat
    November 5, 2010 at 6:15 pm

    sorry, i meant "eventless" not "restless"

  2. Rppgoat
    November 5, 2010 at 6:15 pm

    where it says "a rather restless lives", it should only say "Rather restless lifes"

  3. Pngwn56
    October 26, 2010 at 7:20 pm

    You put toll instead of tool...

    • Aibek
      October 28, 2010 at 11:56 am

      thanks, corrected!