10 Tricks to Make You Seem Like The Smartest Person in a Meeting

ROFL 23-02-2015

Picture this, you walk into work one day, thinking everything is normal. Then your boss drops the ultimate bombshell on you: there’s a meeting How To Choose Your Attire For A Business Meeting If you were to show up to an important business meeting in a plain white shirt and sweatpants, you'd probably receive a less-than-desired response from your colleagues and clients. Read More , and you had no idea it was coming. You haven’t prepared. You’re going to look like an idiot. Or are you?

The 10 tricks outlined below will make you look the smartest person Is Smarter Technology Dumbing Down the Human Race? As a child, you memorized your friend's phone numbers; now you just add them to your phone. You used to memorize directions; now you just use your GPS. Are humans becoming stupid? Read More in the room. Sure, you won’t have any idea what you’re actually doing, but at least people will think you’re a genius.

(Note: In case reading the infographic didn’t make it obvious, this isn’t actual advice, and you should prepare for your meetings. In fact, following this advice might lead you to lose your job. Use at your own risk.)

Via The Cooper Review

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  1. Phoghat
    March 18, 2015 at 2:44 pm

    Meetings usually accomplish nothing anyway, so you might as well make it seem that you ARE smarter than everyone else,
    THAT'S an accomplishment

  2. Anonymous
    February 27, 2015 at 3:07 am

    ...this IS a parody right?

  3. A Chandrasekaran
    February 25, 2015 at 10:08 am

    You can add one more
    ' with reference from HBR or Stanford news or some news clipping of the day'

    All are very impressed on your reference on the world top magazines

  4. KeithFromCanada
    February 24, 2015 at 10:21 pm

    Regarding #2, always ask "How large of a response data set are we referring to?" Whatever you are told, say "Hmmm..." and nod sagely. If you are told "I don't know.", then ask "Do we have a backup confirmation for those numbers?" If given a number, and it is less than your monthly salary, then ask "Is there any way we could broaden the scope?"

  5. Maryon Jeane
    February 24, 2015 at 12:54 pm

    My favourite is the Socratic "Why?"...

  6. HiGuy
    February 24, 2015 at 4:41 am

    This would make for a great in-joke prank.

  7. Loaded Mouse
    February 23, 2015 at 8:15 pm

    Can't i just talk down to everyone?

  8. User1
    February 23, 2015 at 6:10 pm

    Woooo woooo can we take a step back? You are saying there's 10 steps? So that's 1/100 of 1000. You think you can go back to the previous article? ......................... hang on................ I gota take this call............................... .............................. .....................................................
    .................................................... Damn dry cleaning!

  9. Kyle
    February 23, 2015 at 4:03 pm

    Except people who are actually smart would see the complete transparency in these behaviors

    • Adjective
      February 23, 2015 at 4:56 pm

      Smart people would realize this article is satire.

  10. bben
    February 23, 2015 at 12:05 pm

    I can agree, with some reservations, to all except the one about taking a phone call. Because that pisses people off that you think some call is more important than them and you are wasting their time. Instead, if you actually forgot to set the phone to do not disturb for the meeting. And absolutely have to show what a douche you are by actually taking a call during a meeting. Answer the call and say, "I can't talk right now, I'm in an important meeting. Call me back in half an hour. " And hang up. They will be less pissed, but still think you are a jerk. But actually rejecting the call and then turning off the phone, or setting it to do not disturb and apologizing is better. This shows that you think what they are doing right now is important to you.

    • Gene Baker
      February 23, 2015 at 2:01 pm

      I believe
      you should read the NOTE at the beginning.

    • Swaminathan Venkatesh
      February 23, 2015 at 3:19 pm

      @Gene Baker: You've got to understand. bben had to answer an important call when the Note part came up. :P

  11. likefunbutnot
    February 23, 2015 at 5:00 am

    I am the engineer. I assume almost everything I say will be simultaneously ignored and misunderstood or used entirely out of context to further some manager's personal agenda.

    • nalk
      February 23, 2015 at 7:27 am

      S o, y o u a s s u m e a l m o s t e v e r y t h i n g y o u s a y w i l l b e s i m u l t a n e o u s l y i g n o r e d a n d m i s u n d e r s t o o d o r u s e d e n t i r e l y o u t o f c o n t e x t t o f u r t h e r s o m e m a n a g e r ’ s p e r s o n a l a g e n d a.

      That's basically everybody in other words?

  12. Paul R
    February 23, 2015 at 3:16 am

    Loved this! It was great, because....
    oh, if you'll excuse me--I HAVE to take this...