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Is there a program that can monitor a teen on Facebook by checking the language that is used and reporting it back to the parent? I don't need to check everything, I just want to know about inappropriate language and possibly photos.

Marley-moo1
2011-11-09 20:13:00
they might not know you are reading there massages and facebook inboxes. but you do im 18 to and i now think of it as i was 16 a little out of control drink a lot so i could understand of some leavels why they did it to me but at the same time i found it hard to pull my head round the fact that they had to use it rather then ask i would have told them what they needed to know.i think if it realy comes down to it you and your child need help and im not talking your both crazy i mean you need a counceler were you can both go and talk opanly with each other and hopefully you will understand a diray. facebook,myspace.bebo 12 -21years is private and should stay that way im with jeff here i think you should be far more concerned with their text messages and webcam activity. and to Donofry  you'r saying we don't understand till we have ow own well i can tell your an oldschool adult and you will have a horabel outcome with your child you are all forgeting you grew up in diffrent day of age but with is 2011 people you need to get up to get up to date befor saying someones wrong. one more thing remmber once you have done it you can't take it back and if it shits rain ova you don't feel sorry for yourselfs.
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StephanieM
2011-11-09 19:49:00
yes's but don't im 18 and i still have never forgive my mum or dad for useing net nana on me they got my passwords numbers e-mail addresses and i wasnt doing enything wrong but at the end of the day net nana or eny other program is still going to invad there privasy i strong recamend you don't stalk your child on the net if they say there going  out and you feel like they might be puting them selfs in danger witch is highlly possabel ask questions follow them if it makes you sleep at night but you should not be looking at there facebook fullstop your a mother/ father but you can not control your kids or there gunna want to take back ova control and i can tell you from exspreanc its never good when that happends.
2011-11-08 17:32:00
Emily - you can send me submissions to mark@makeuseof.com but we are not accepting that many guest submissions at the moment, simply because the publication schedule is already quite full.  But feel free to send me something and if we really like it, we may make an exception.
sammib
2011-11-05 09:14:00
First up, thankyou to everyone for the replies, it certainly has been a interesting readI am the parent,a Mother of a just turned 14yr daughter and yes the real reason I ask thequestion was what I asked! I don’t want to record word for word conversations,but only to know if foul and inappropriate language (& certain words, iesex, diet etc) is being used. A report could be then sent to the parent sayingthat ie ‘F###’ was used 3 times, ‘diet” was used 10 times, then I could sitdown with her and discuss why. My daughter alreadyas a program on her laptop, and knows about it, that stops certain websites/ photosetc showing on her laptop. BUT for some reason foul and inappropriate languagedoes not get monitored on facebook. (I am not talking about basic foullanguage, not used by my daughter but a ‘male’ friend) (Now knows not to dothat again!)We also have agreat relationship, she tells me about 80% of everything. Yes I am also onher friend list on facebook!After some ‘Mom's intuition’ (So right lttgirl!) I checkedher facebook and so pleased that I did! I am not just talking about a language problemeither, but something that could have turned very serious!I also believethat online and offline language should be a concern, in the real professional worldfoul and inappropriate language is not tolerated. Irealise that no-one can control what a teen says, but I believe consentmonitoring and reminding a teen that it is not okay to use such language mighthelp, especially in the future when they want to get a job!  (Or even a boyfriend, girlfriend to be okayedby a parent. Who would let their daughter date someone who swears a lot, onlineor offline, none of the parents I know!)This also has nothing to do with trust, we have taughther that trust play a big part in our lives, but as most replies have said, itis not also about trusting your child, but how much things out there are put infront of young teens that should not be there and now they see these things aseveryday things, which is very wrong.I know lots of parents, teachers, IT professionals, navypersonal who all feel the same way I do, teens need to be monitored andreminded that just because you can doesn’t mean you should. We all love our children. SammiB
Jay
2011-11-05 10:08:00
If you do not join page and groups, and maintain a filtered and quality friend list, means do not allow any random person to be your friend then, the facebook news feed, chat, messages will stay clean, there will be nothing to worry about.because most of the inappropriate content content on facebook is either by a page or tagged photos or videos.You can clean your facebook account, but not the real world, better help her learn what exists in the world, and what, why and how she should avoid .Nice to know that she is your good friend, you can share passwords of each other , if both are comfortable, then there will be nothing like monitoring.If someone you trust has your password, it can help in several situations to both the persons.So let a mother take care of her child instead of a software!
Aibek
2011-11-03 09:09:00
http://www.makeuseof.com/tags/parental-control/
Fu Man Chu
2011-11-02 13:45:00
Oh what i CAN suggest however just to bring up the 'Trust' factor for this specific situation is this : 1 - Sit with your teen one day and set up what is called as a 'mail-rule' in his/her email (let me know if you need help with how to do this) and set it to forward any email with the title "wants to be friends with you" (or whatever it is that Facebook sends out as a standard mail when someone sends a friend request) to your personal email. => What this does is : When anyone sends a friend request to your teen, you get the facebook email as well.2 - Create a folder in your own email and set the rule to fwd all those emails coming automatically from your teenager's email to go into that folder. (this step isn't absolutely necessary, it's just to keep things organized)this way atleast you know what 'friends' your teen is making.. and can question any one that you deem as 'questionable', it gives you the opportunity to have a healthy discussion with your kid, and you don't need to install anything.
Fu Man Chu
2011-11-02 13:37:00
I agree with Jeff and Ittlgirl.. you only understand this when you become a parent, until then you're simply "on the other side of the fence" and have no idea. The thing to understand is it's not about not trusting your kids.. but there are people out there that can be most beguiling and most patient and most friendly enough to lure the kids away.. so many news articles about kids being snatched like this, some never to be seen again, some are seen after years of abuse.. just better to not go there.Again, it's not NOT trusting your kids, but it's about not trusting strangers (for some, they're not even strangers) out there, evil doers lurking in the safety of anonymity and within easy reach.Sorry that this entire thread is becoming a rant/preaching of sorts.. i don't have any software to recommend, but hey.. my 2 cents as well, I feel this is all still within topic of the original question as online safety is a huge huge deal that is currently not being policed anywhere close to as much as the outside 'non-internet' world is.
Jeff Fabish
2011-11-02 13:50:00
I agree, in fact there was a recent kidnapping attempt in my neighbourhood. However, the OP didn't mention using privacy invasion to protect their children (though I'm sure that's a concern). What he said was, he wants to see what language they are using and what photos they are taking. From that, I suspect he's concerned about how his child is conducting themselves online, and that (to me) is trivial.
lttlgirl
2011-11-02 04:05:00
Sammib - Great question!!  Not only have we already raised 5 kids through adulthood, we're still raising a teen as I type this.  In addition, my brother in law is a sheriff in Billings, and when we asked him that same question (to be sure we weren't being overprotective parents), he couldn't have agreed more with us.  He told us that we have no idea the number of crimes/issues/heartache parents would be spared if only they would monitor their kids' online and cell phone activity - ESPECIALLY TEENS!  (Take some time and google the articles regarding this very topic.  You'll certainly be justified in your concerns!)  You need to be the PARENT - not their friend.  If you parent them when they're young, I guarantee, you'll be great friends when they are adults!!  In addition - they should never be having THAT intimate a conversation with anyone, that would be inappropriate to keep from their parents.We've always made a deal with our kids.  They have no privacy in our house until they're on their own.  Ok - that's "extreme", and they know it, however they also know we're serious as a heart attack when we require logins and passwords to everything they have, and as long as they live under our roof (ok - not after their graduation from HS and lived with us until they were either married or deployed), we have the right to check their accounts whenever we feel the need.  And if they even so much as threatened to block or delete - we helped them out, and either deleted their account, or blocked them off the internet ourselves.  They knew this wasn't a game they wanted to play.    There have been many occasions when I've been seriously thankful that I've checked into something I had that "Mom's intuition" about...whether it was concerning them, or a friend. And guess what?  I have great kids (several military)...a great relationship with each and every one...and my older kids are having these same arrangements with their kids - because it worked for us!!Take it or leave it - just my thoughts...and encouragement to be your kids' parent.  Sounds like you're truly on the right track.  :)
Jay
2011-11-02 00:38:00
First, I can understand you concern as a parent. (if you are a parent)Mostly,these programs are paid, monitoring someone is not legal, even if the person is your relative.you can install a key-logger to monitor your own pc.I suggest to trust your children, and trust the things you taught them to do or not to do.Facebook is just a part of their life, you can't be with them at every moment, unless you hire a spy.Bad company and bad language is not limited to facebook. and it also depends on what do you consider as "bad".You can be their best friends, not only on facebook, but in offline real life, I will give any of my passwords to my trusted friends, because I trust them.Skip the lecture : free and easy and legal way : send a request and add to closed friends list.if they accept or do not reject your requests(keep pending), you can see their public recent activity on your closed friends list.If they reject your request,or just keep visiting their profile, you will see public activities. (bookmark their wall)If you annoy them by letting them know about this, they may block you, so be careful.If your request is accepted, you can be restricted if they have applied privacy settings, but you can still view. the public recent activities. This is important to also those who wants to keep their facebook private, may be you also!
Jeff Fabish
2011-11-01 23:27:00
Well...To be clear, you're the parent right? It's a pretty important question (the legality of the question is dependent on your answer)Most parents chose to use spyware (keyloggers, network monitoring software, etc) which is considered highly unethical in this day and age. Either let your child have a Facebook account or not, privacy invasion isn't a good solution (would you want someone reading your most intimate conversation with other people?). However, if your child acknowledged that he or she is being monitored, there are programs you can use, see  this list (organized by downloads)The best program: Trust. What language someone uses online is hardly a legitimate concern. I find it extremely difficult to believe that's the only reason you wish to monitor their conversations. 
Parent of two daughers
2012-03-17 13:53:00
Christ WHAT a muppet. "trust" my rear end. Teenagers are minors and as such need protection from themselves. The mind boggles. 
Mjevolve
2011-11-01 22:34:00
a good free parental internet monitoring app -- Qostodio  http://qustodio.com/kid web protection app K9 - http://www1.k9webprotection.com/dont know if the programs do exactly what you are wanting to , but these are good internet monitoring tools .and also , F-Secure Internet Security has some really good Parental controls in it .