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Tinder. It’s the current go-to name for standard speed-dating apps and the next generation of online romance Online Dating - Men Don't Get It And Women Don't Understand Online Dating - Men Don't Get It And Women Don't Understand Do online dating websites work? It's time for a frank discussion! What I learned from interviews was that online dating is equally painful for men and for women, but for very different reasons. Read More . Some may consider it to be a shallow usage of technology. Others may consider it a way for true love. Others yet, like myself, see it as a way to meet new people while not looking for much more.

Those of us who are looking for a little companionship may find Tinder to be an easy way to get back in the game. However, even Tinder has its own rules of dating. If you do happen to use Tinder, I highly recommend taking this advice which tells you what not to do.

Wait, What’s Tinder?

Tinder is an app for Android and iOS that allows users to swipe through several photos of people in an effort to find a potential romantic partner. You can provide the app with a distance you are willing to travel up to 100 miles, and from there, you “like” or “pass” people. If you and someone else both like each other, then you are able to contact them using the in-app chat feature.

Tinder app

On the surface, it’s a bit shallow: everything is seemingly based on appearances, and few details besides a first name and age are provided. Users do have the opportunity to gather some extra details if they want to look at the person’s other pictures. These extra details include mutual Facebook interests and friends as well as a brief “about” section.

Ready to get started? Make sure you do it right.

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Don’t Fall For Fake Profiles

One of my first shameful experiences using Tinder was the time that I — naively — stumbled upon a fake profile. The situation was rather innocent:

Oh, a girl who’s slightly easy-on-the-eyes? I’ll swipe right. Not a problem. Whoa! A match? Alright, alright, alright. She’s messaged me… She’s not exactly responding to my statements… She’s – oh, dear Lord, what is she saying? Nope. Not into that.

Fake profiles. They exist. How do you identify them? I hate to say it, but in many situations, they may just seem too good to be true. If not that, then your conversations with them will start out nonsensical and then quickly lead to inappropriate verbal advances (for the situation, anyway).

One of the main draws of Tinder is the fact that all profiles are generated using existing Facebook accounts. In most situations, since Facebook does a fairly decent job of keeping spam accounts Is That Girl Really Following You On Twitter? Spambots Exposed Is That Girl Really Following You On Twitter? Spambots Exposed You open up your Facebook or Twitter and see that this pretty girl has requested to follow you or be your friend. What could possibly go wrong? A lot. Read More at bay, there’s not problem. But yes, they are out there, and it’s unfortunate. Beware!

Don’t Try To Find Someone’s Real Profile

Full disclosure: I’ve done this myself. But then I realized something — it’s disrespectful.

Tinder allows you to see your mutual Facebook friends when perusing profiles. That said, it’s really easy to go over to said mutual friend’s profile, browse their friend list, and find the person you’re interested in. Not cool.

The beauty of Tinder is the ability to express interest while remaining somewhat… safe. This is an unfortunate byproduct of the pseudo-social generation Turn Your Internet Relationships Into Real World Friendships With A Meetup Turn Your Internet Relationships Into Real World Friendships With A Meetup There is one thing you must know when organizing a virtual meetup with an online compadre: don't be creepy. The prime consideration you must have is that your friend -- regardless of how close you... Read More , but at the same time, it’s important to respect this. While this is incredibly easy to do, it might be best not to.

Check The Actual Age!

Ladies and gentlemen who are of age, please listen: Tinder is primarily an adult service for people who — at least in the majority of the United States — are ages 18 and up. This is while the terms of use say you only have to be 13… eh.

While Tinder exists for some people, like myself, simply as a means to find members of the opposite sex who are interesting and fun to talk to, we all know that there are some users, maybe you (and there’s no judgment here), who want to get things moving rather quickly. We get it.

However, before you hit someone up, check the “about” portion of their profile. While Tinder displays the age of each person rather prominently on their page, sometimes they get it wrong. Sometimes — and this is annoying — there will be young’n’s who slide by because they lied about their age on Facebook. Sometimes they will write something to the effect of, “LOL I’m actually 16 sry!”

Is there anything you can do if someone lies about their age and continues to stick to that while on Tinder? No. Of course not. People lie on the Internet. This is not going to be a very common problem, but it’s worth keeping in mind.

Don’t Bypass The Gems

Every once in a while, you might find someone who has written something clever on their profile or has photos that are genuinely interesting. This says a lot when half the profiles you see feature the chorus of Tom Petty’s Free Fallin’.

So don’t miss out. It’s really easy to focus just on appearances, but instead of swiping every other second, take some time and get to know the person behind the photo. While it isn’t much, it might be worth seeing what they have to say (if there’s anything at all).

Have Legitimate Expectations

People, this is essentially speed dating. And it’s based primarily on appearances. There’s a 99% chance you aren’t going to meet Prince Charming here.

Doesn’t mean it can’t be fun, though.

You can download Tinder to your iPhone or your Android smartphone. Unfortunately, there isn’t a web version of the app.

Have you used Tinder? Any mistakes you think others should avoid?

Image Credit: David Martyn Hunt

  1. D. Bag McGillicuddy
    January 5, 2016 at 11:48 pm

    @Alexander Rose ... I've been fascinated by your comment and problems regarding Tinder and I've been researching your problems in depth since I read your comment just over 6 months ago. But the answers have fallen in place over these months and I will now share these insights with you.
    1) On Hot or Not pretty much 95% pretty female profiles are fake (ballpark estimate).

    2) Regarding photos. http://i.imgur.com/YsvNCDL.png
    I've identified key areas you might wish to improve:
    a) Background pictures. You're looking for women, but you're already showcasing the woman you have in your life.... well, not really, but come on now.
    b) Hair. Hey, I'm not judging peoples hairstyles. If you want a mohawk, have a mohawk. If you want the front swept hair, have that. But have it in a higher quality than "black blob".
    c) Hand gestures. I mean... I mean a lot, just take my word for it, ok? The 2-in-the-pink, 1-in-the-stink hand signal would probably give you more matches.
    d) Shirt logo says Fantasia, right? At first I thought it sounded like a strip club, but a google search says it might be referring to the 1940's Disney movie.... Either way, take it off. Doesn't matter what you look like underneath, either it's better or it's better because hey, at least they now know what to expect.
    e) I don't really have an e, I just think e is not used often enough in these sorts of lists. Maybe not a picture from you alone in your room in front of your computer on a webcam in dark lighting and looking slightly creepy?
    f) Oh wait, I did have an e. That whatever-you-call-it on your bottom lip. I'm avoiding calling it beard on purpose.
    g) That small black spot on the neckline of your shirt.. Weird patch of hair or beginning of a tattoo? Don't let people even begin to imagine this question. Nothing wrong with tattoos generally, but when people first have this question in their head, the game is lost. (Hey, you just lost the game, too by the way.)

    3) Moral police? Besides being respectful of other peoples lives, you're clearly not going to understand that angle, so let's make this about you. Stalk up some girl on FB, who you've said approximately 2 sentences to on Tinder and then write to her on FB and see how that goes. It doesn't matter if she blocked you or not before you write to her on FB, most will wonder why or how the hell you got their FB.

    4) I could probably stretch your technical issues about it to 3 points, but I'll just say it real quick: They have a FAQ page that explains all of your issues and exactly how to resolve them and that you haven't lost your matches or messages unless you delete your account. You can even uninstall and reinstall the app, as long as you don't delete your account.
    Oh wait, you DO lose your messages when someone blocks you. Tough luck there, buddy!

    5) Another key area of your troubles identified in my research: You have an Apple watch. This is not me android-fanboying it up, I actually find iPhone really enjoyable to use and missed the simplicity of it when I used one, since I've never been really fascinated or all caught up in mobile technology. But back to the issue: I'm not saying an Apple watch is silly or costs way too much (though it does). Sure it's a fun gadget and I'm sure many people are interesting in seeing it just to know what it actually is like. But it's just not sexy, no matter how much it costs. Just tape a wad of bills around your wrist and display it proudly. Hey, make it thick enough and it may even be able to cover up the Fantasia logo in case you don't have other shirts to put on instead.

    6) If you can see her messages and replied back, what exactly were you complaining about? Maybe this one just flew over my head, since I might've become blind to things making sense after staring at your comment for a while. About losing message history? You just said you can see her messages. About losing matches? You just said you can reply back. I really don't know.

    7) About the tech person, I agree actually. They could at least have sent you the link to the FAQ page. Although they may have thought it obvious to try those solutions first and thought that's what you had done already, which only leaves one option: they might have unmatched or blocked you. Obviously, they could've written both solutions and let you try it out for yourself, but that could get complicated real quick, right? :)

    Have a nice day.

    Sincerely yours,
    D. Bag McGillycuddy

    P.S. Just out of curiosity. How many of those TONS of 10's on HotOrNot have you actually met? Or even had a rational talk with where she actually answered questions with something that made sense? I mean, OK you match with them all the time, but... come on now. I just... I mean... Come on now.

  2. Alexander Rose
    June 27, 2015 at 1:21 am

    I honestly don't believe that Tinder even shows half the girls I swipe yes to my picture.

    Here's why: On Hot or Not I match with a TON of 10s. Super hot girls. On Tinder, I only match with borderline unattractive/fat women. WTF? and I'm a Tinder Plus subscriber.

    I have sometimes 3-4 matches a month from super hot girls on Hot or Not, but not on Tinder, with the SAME PHOTOS.

    Anyway, on to the deal of finding peoples' profiles. Don't do that? It's disrespectful? Good for you moral police. How about yeah I will do whatever it takes to make a connection with someone I like.

    I have actually unmatched people in Tinder to be totally shocked when THE ENTIRE MESSAGE HISTORY IS GONE. Deleted. It's one thing to not be able to contact them anymore, it's another to not see their messages.

    And just thought of this, here's another problem I have with Tinder: Everytime I update the app it seems like my matches ARE ALL GONE.

    And yet another issue-- Their tech support either doesn't care about you, or are sub-human brainless idiots. Since most tech people are not sub-human brainless idiots let's see.... hmm..

    I noticed on my Apple watch whenever I would get a Tinder message from a girl in a conversation, it would pop up with a notification "Kelly sent you a new message!" then I look at the message, and it shows her picture with the LAST SENT MESSAGE I SENT, but when I go to the app I see the correct message from her, and the list of messages.

    I did a bug report on Tinder, I get back "Go search for her name because she might have unmatched or blocked you" .. Umm.. no.. did you even read what I wrote? I just ended it saying that I can see her messages and I replied back. You CANNOT do that if they unmatched or blocked you.

    I reiterated this to the tech person, and they replied with the SAME MESSAGE reworded. I think I will be quitting Tinder since now Hot or Not actually has a lot more people in my town.

  3. Anonymous
    May 17, 2015 at 6:58 am

    Just another way of finding people's real profiles is to make a screenshot of their tinder, crop square photo and upload it to google image search. Not every time but it works. And yep, it's usually makes people very scared so even if you've done that don't tell your math about that :-)

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