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Piracy never pays, hacking for air miles, Google drives itself, an online cat simulator, Michael Fassbender is Steve Jobs, and the musical fart enjoyed by millions.

No Free Windows 10 For Pirates

Microsoft has made it clear that people running pirated copies of Windows 7, Windows 8, and Windows 8.1 will not be getting free upgrades to Windows 10 Windows 10: The Dream Of A Cross-Device Operating System Is Becoming Reality & It's Free Windows 10: The Dream Of A Cross-Device Operating System Is Becoming Reality & It's Free Microsoft is boldly stepping into the future with innovative software and hardware. Windows as a service and mobility of experience were the major keywords from the recent Windows 10 briefing. Most importantly, Windows 10 will... Read More . Instead, anyone currently using a non-genuine version of these operating systems will receive “very attractive Windows 10 upgrade offers”.

In March, Microsoft announced that anyone using Windows 7, Windows 8, or Windows 8.1 would get a free upgrade to Windows 10 Say Hello to Windows 10, Nintendo Embraces Smartphone Gaming [Tech News Digest] Say Hello to Windows 10, Nintendo Embraces Smartphone Gaming [Tech News Digest] Launching Windows 10, Nintendo goes mobile, reviewing Android apps, reporting Twitter harassment, paying friends through Facebook, and Pixels depicts video games invading Earth. Read More . Windows boss Terry Myerson then caused a ripple of excitement by suggesting this would apply to “all qualified PCs, genuine and non-genuine.” However, something appears to have been lost in translation.

Microsoft hasn’t yet released specific details as to what form these “upgrade offers” for pirates will take, but the word “free” has clearly been excised from the plans. Which makes a lot of sense, as while Microsoft clearly wants to move everyone onto Windows 10 When Does Windows 10 Come Out, How Can You Get It & What Happens to the Technical Preview? When Does Windows 10 Come Out, How Can You Get It & What Happens to the Technical Preview? Windows 10 is coming soon. Still confused about how the upgrade will work and wondering about the timeline? We have some answers, although more questions remain. Read More , the company cannot be seen to be rewarding piracy.

United Hackers Earn Air Miles

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United Airlines is offering hackers up to 1 million air miles as a reward for discovering vulnerabilities on its website. White hat hackers 5 Of The World’s Most Famous And Most Influential White Hat Hackers 5 Of The World’s Most Famous And Most Influential White Hat Hackers In this article, I’m going to jump back to the original definition and explore the world of “good hackers,” otherwise known as “white hat hackers.”Let’s take a look at five of the most influential computer... Read More who find bugs and duly report them to the company will be rewarded with the air miles, but only the most serious vulnerabilities will attain the maximum 1 million air miles.

There are some stringent requirements to taking part in United’s Bug Bounty Program, including the need to be “a MileagePlus member in good standing,” “not be the author of the vulnerable code,” and “not be an employee of United Airlines.” Furthermore, the vulnerability must be discovered without actually testing it on live systems. Which makes perfect sense.

Google Takes To The Road

Google is moving its self-driving cars project to the next stage, announcing its prototype autonomous vehicles Google Delivers Self-Driving Car, Facebook Releases Stickered App [Tech News Digest] Google Delivers Self-Driving Car, Facebook Releases Stickered App [Tech News Digest] Also, North Korea drops offline, Google sings song lyrics, Samsung releases autistic app, and basketball trick shots are better with a Portal gun. Read More will “leave the test track and hit the familiar roads of Mountain View, Calif.,” this summer. Thankfully, given that Google’s cars have been involved in a number of accidents Google's Self-Driving Cars Crash, CHIP Is a $9 Computer, & More... [Tech News Digest] Google's Self-Driving Cars Crash, CHIP Is a $9 Computer, & More... [Tech News Digest] Google car accidents, CHIP gets Kickstarted, the end of Mad Men, Giphy for Gmail, block the Kardashians, and that Leeroy Jenkins video is still worth watching. Read More , drivers will still be on board in case they’re needed.

The company has already taken vehicles out onto public roads to test the sensors and software which allow them to be driven automatically How Self-Driving Cars Work: The Nuts and Bolts Behind Google's Autonomous Car Program How Self-Driving Cars Work: The Nuts and Bolts Behind Google's Autonomous Car Program Being able to commute back and forth to work while sleeping, eating, or catching up on your favorite blogs is a concept that is equally appealing and seemingly far-off and too futuristic to actually happen. Read More . However, this is the first time that the prototype cars, purposely built to drive themselves, will be unleashed. Speeds will be capped at 25 miles-per-hour, which should ensure a certain level of safety for all who encounter these vehicles.

Simulate Life As An Annoying Cat

Anyone who has owned a cat 6 Apps That Turn Your iPad Into An Overpriced-Yet-Awesome Cat Toy 6 Apps That Turn Your iPad Into An Overpriced-Yet-Awesome Cat Toy Cats are awesome. We all agree on that. I must admit, though, that even for a cat lover like me, the idea of letting my cats play with my precious iPad seemed a bit crazy.... Read More , either now or in the past, will know just how annoying they can be to live with. Sure, they’re cute and cuddly, and provide some much-needed company on cold winter nights, but that doesn’t stop them from being a right royal pain in the buttocks from time to time. Especially when you’re in bed asleep and they happen to get hungry or need to pee.

Still, the life of a cat must be pretty sweet, which is what makes this cat simulator so compelling. Created by Will Herring, My Garbage Cat Wakes Me Up At 3AM Every Day places you in the role of a cat, your mission being to make enough of a nuisance of yourself to wake your owner up in the middle of the night. Feline fun at its frenetic finest The Funniest Cat Tumblrs For Feline Fanatics [Weird & Wonderful Web] The Funniest Cat Tumblrs For Feline Fanatics [Weird & Wonderful Web] Cats now own the Internet. And if you want to survive the upcoming catastrophe, you'd best be friends with the feline frenemies. Read More .

First Steve Jobs Movie Trailer Lands

Universal Pictures has released the first trailer for Steve Jobs, the movie based on the Walter Isaacson biography of the same name. The film focuses on the product launches and press conferences that defined Steve Jobs’ life Instant Inspiration: Watch Steve Jobs' Greatest Ever Speeches Instant Inspiration: Watch Steve Jobs' Greatest Ever Speeches Not everybody is a fan of Apple. Nor was everybody a fan of Steve Jobs, one of the two Steves who founded the company, and the one who turned it from an also-ran into the... Read More , which makes this teaser trailer rather fitting as Steve walks out on stage.

Steve Jobs has quite the pedigree, with solid source material, a screenplay written by Aaron Sorkin, Danny Boyle as director, and Michael Fassbender in the titular role. Fassbender is ably assisted by Seth Rogen as Steve Wozniak, Jeff Daniels as John Sculley, and Kate Winslet as Joanna Hoffman.

The Internet Celebrates a Musical Fart

And finally, we have the fart joke to end all fart jokes. It’s not even technically a joke, but it should make you laugh, assuming you’re not offended by toilet humor. Watch the video, and then return. And remember to crank the volume up to 11.

I’m fair sure breaking wind and passing gas has never sounded so good. Which is why Reddit has been congratulating the person responsible. Seriously, Johann Sebastian Bachdoor, Claude Degassy, and Wolfgang Amadeus Mofart would be proud of such a composition. Badum-tish.

Your Views on Today’s Tech News

Should Microsoft have given pirates a free upgrade to Windows 10? Should United Airlines be paying cold hard cash to hackers finding bugs? Is the musical fart a new low for the Internet?

Let us know your thoughts on the Tech News of the day by posting to the comments section below. Because a healthy discussion is always welcome.

Image Credit: Funk Dooby via Flickr

  1. Frenchie
    May 19, 2015 at 4:23 am

    Michael Fassbender does not even look like Steve Jobs! Ashton Kutcher did a better job IMHO.

  2. Torpedo
    May 18, 2015 at 11:11 pm

    I smell something ... and the wind is coming from your direction!!

  3. dwynath
    May 18, 2015 at 10:50 pm

    About that farting composition...

  4. Gavin
    May 18, 2015 at 2:15 pm

    The only way there won't be any accidents on the roads with Google cars is if they're the only cars on the road. Careless drivers get worse everyday, and these autonomous vehicles won't be able to adapt to it fast enough.

    • michel
      May 18, 2015 at 2:54 pm

      But as they come onto the roads, the overall number of accidents will decrease, since careless drivers are being eliminated.

  5. dragonmouth
    May 18, 2015 at 1:32 pm

    "Microsoft has made it clear that people running pirated copies of Windows 7, Windows 8, and Windows 8.1 will not be getting free upgrades to Windows 10. "
    If history is any indicator, as soon as Microsoft releases Windows 10, there will be a free, pirated Win 10 available. So, unless offers win10 to the pirates for free, no offer is going to be attractive.

    • Deere
      May 18, 2015 at 2:14 pm

      I disagree. If it doesn't cost you a hand and a leg AND features terms that seem reasonable (as in "you really own it" + "we won't harvest your liver if you decide to turn off our spying services(r)") then plenty of people find it reasonable to pay for it.

      Unfortunately, it's not gonna happen, because it must be overpriced and resembling a Faustian bargain, because that's the way business is done AD 2015.

    • molly_dog
      May 20, 2015 at 4:17 pm

      I wholeheartedly agree, Dragon. Aside from the ones who get a thrill from "getting it without paying for it," it's the evermore prohibitive pricetags that turn a most people I know to "the dark side."

      Many people simply cannot afford double-digit movie ticket prices plus another small fortune at the concession stand. Double ditto for triple digit (and beyond) mainstream software suite prices. Sometimes the free alternative isn't quite up to par with the high dollar version.

      I'm neither condoning, nor am I attempting to justify, piracy in any form. The point I'm trying to make is that many times it's an economic decision more than a case of thumbing their noses at the system.

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