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how to procrastinateAs you may know, MakeUseOf isn’t staffed by robots that churn out articles daily through an automatic system (you’re confusing us with a few of our notorious spam commenters…). No, we are real people that all have daily lives, and as for myself, I’m a busy guy offline.

However, all of us have our own methods of getting down to the writing. Since I’m not a full-time freelance writer Top 6 Resources To Become A Better Freelance Writer Top 6 Resources To Become A Better Freelance Writer Read More , it takes me a little extra oompah to get myself started. With that in mind (and based on what I’m doing right now), I figured I’d give you a little insight into what I’m doing. Basically, here’s how I procrastinate.

The Realization Phase

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The weekend is when I spend the majority of my time putting my hands on the keyboard. Throughout the week I have a pretty busy schedule, and although I know that there are other people who have a much busier life than mine, it gets a little hectic at times. I often forget what day it even is, so whenever it gets around to Friday night, I kind of panic, knowing that my deadline Meet Your Writing Deadlines In A Distraction-Free Writing Environment With OmmWriter Meet Your Writing Deadlines In A Distraction-Free Writing Environment With OmmWriter OmmWriter is a writing application for Windows, Mac, and the iPad. It is based on the philosophy that in order to concentrate and be creative, we need a calm and largely distraction-free surrounding. Unfortunately, our... Read More is extremely close. Granted, I know I’ll always make it, but phew…

The Browsing Phase

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When it comes time to write, I’ll sit down at my computer with great intentions. I think to myself, “Alright, Lockhart. You’re going to write a masterpiece this time. Your adoring public will love you, and you’ll get so many views that you’re just bound to make this article viral.”  I really don’t know why I lie to myself this way.

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The fact is that I’ll get on my computer, pull up a tab for MakeUseOf, and then I’ll think, “Well… maybe one look at Facebook won’t be too bad.”  So that’s what I’ll do. I’ll creep people on Facebook, and then Facebook turns to Reddit, and then Reddit turns into whatever link Reddit sends me to Secretly Check Out Your Reddit-Using Friends with Reddit Investigator Secretly Check Out Your Reddit-Using Friends with Reddit Investigator A few of us here on MakeUseOf like Reddit, and apparently so do quite a few other people out on the Internet. Some of those people like it so much that they even create their... Read More , and five hours later, I realize I still haven’t written an article.  Oh, and I look at cats a lot.

The Dipping-A-Toe-In-The-Pool Phase

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I’ll eventually pull up a new document to write on. Heck, I’ll even pull up my list of article ideas to see what I’m supposed to write next. But that’s all I’ll do. However, for some reason, I’ll think, “You sure did a good job opening a new document to write on, Josh. Man. You are working so hard. Maybe you should treat yourself to some microwaveable taquitos. No… no… I know. Why don’t you fry up some shrimp? Yup. Fry up some shrimp. Find Easy & Appetizing Recipe Ideas With BBC GoodFood [Chrome] Find Easy & Appetizing Recipe Ideas With BBC GoodFood [Chrome] BBC GoodFood is an add-on for Chrome, that goes along with the BBC GoodFood website. It is not, however, a clone of the website. The add-on features its own unique UI, stunning hi-resolution photographs of... Read More

You know what I’ll do at that point? Yes. I fry up some freaking shrimp, and they taste delicious.

The Denial Phase

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While eating my delicious shrimp, I sometimes will fall back on my other plan, and then I’ll go ahead and microwave some taquitos. They often come out very soggy and look very disgusting, but I eat them anyway. Granted, while raiding the fridge, I’ll sometimes see something else I like – say, something like crab cakes – and I’ll microwave those, too.

The sad part is that I know what I’m doing – not writing an article 5 Procrastination Strategies to Become More Productive 5 Procrastination Strategies to Become More Productive Read More .  It’s blatant and obvious that I’m avoiding it. I’m a horrible person. However, the food tastes good, right?

The Considering-Copping-Out-Of-Life Phase

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While wallowing in my greasy-food-induced guilt and post-bathroom sickness, I will often contemplate life. Who am I? Why am I here? What is the air-speed velocity of an unladen swallow? I begin to believe I should hit the road – drop out of school, quit writing, pack it up, and start traveling the country by foot 10 Sites For Budget Travel & Backpacking Trips Across The World 10 Sites For Budget Travel & Backpacking Trips Across The World Backpackers are an adventurous breed. They are also awfully budget conscious too. It comes with the territory I guess, because the taste of adventure cannot be experienced from the luxurious couches and air-conditioned coaches. If... Read More or something. I think to myself, “Yup. I could live off the land, and then I wouldn’t have to write!”

However, this is all really stupid. I’m a city boy at heart – I couldn’t ever do anything like that.

The Courage Wolf Phase

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Granted, somewhere in all of this, I somehow make it through and actually write. I don’t know how, I don’t know why, but something triggers it, and I’m given enough courage to bust through and pop something out worth reading (and sometimes not worth reading based on my commenters). I’ll write and research for a while, and somehow, by the end of the day, I’ll have an article of some sort 4 Rules To Ignore When Writing Your Personal Blog [Opinion] 4 Rules To Ignore When Writing Your Personal Blog [Opinion] Let's be straight - blogging is fun and blogging is cool, there's no doubt about that. Of course, it can also be used by middle-school girls who believe that everyone in the world wants to... Read More .

It just happens. It’s like it falls from the sky. I sometimes feel as though I have magic hands that type in a mystical manner.

The Girlfriend-Made-Me-Dinner Phase

Now, even though I’ve written an article 8 Tools That Will Make You a Procrastination Ninja at Work 8 Tools That Will Make You a Procrastination Ninja at Work Read More , this doesn’t mean it’s over. Right before I hit that submission button, I like to review. However, during the review process, I’ll occasionally get that familiar text message from my girlfriend, Ashleigh: “Would you like me to fix you dinner?” You’d think after shrimp, taquitos, and crab cakes that I wouldn’t want anything. HA! Of course, I want something.

So I’ll take another bit of time to go see Ashleigh, eat up some food, watch a few episodes of How I Met Your Mother on Netflix, and then head home. Good times, good times.

The Panic-Because-Of-What-I’ve-Written Phase

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At some point – possibly because I had to step away from my work for a while – I panic when I return to my article, worrying that it will absolutely suck. I think to myself, “Maybe I should just email Mark and tell him the article will be late!” or “Maybe I should just turn in my resignation now – this article will make them fire me, anyway!” Yes, my friends, I worry about everything What Is The Imbecilic Art Of Vaguebooking? What Is The Imbecilic Art Of Vaguebooking? You may not have heard of the term Vaguebooking, but I can guarantee you will have seen at least one example of it in action. Certainly if you're active on Facebook, Twitter, Google+, or any... Read More . It’s not the best quality in the world, honestly.

Conclusion

Eventually, after all this procrastination, overeating, and panic, I finally click that submission button, and the article process is complete. It really is a hassle for me sometimes, though. However, I really do try to avoid all this and get right to work.

Do you write for any other blogs? What kinds of procrastination problems do you have?

Image Credit: mantasmagorical

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