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After years of waiting, we all finally got to see the new product Apple has been working on for the past few years. It’s a watch, a smartwatch, a watch that is smart. Sort of. I mean, it needs to be paired with an iPhone to be anything other than a tiny, wrist-based brick, but the digital crown is kinda smart. And it tells the time. Which is a useful function for a watch.

This is the Apple Watch. Not the iWatch, just the Apple Watch, or Watch for short. It is either the best thing since sliced bread or a fugly piece of crap, depending on who is talking. Apple fanboys can read all about the Apple Watch, the iPhone 6, and Apple Pay in this rundown of the big event Apple's Big Event: iPhone 6, Watch & New Wireless Payment System Apple's Big Event: iPhone 6, Watch & New Wireless Payment System Finally, the rumours are confirmed: two new larger iPhones and a smart timepiece known simply as the Apple Watch are on the way. Read More . Everyone else can join with me in openly mocking this bizarre new product.

Reality Distortion Field

For those who aren’t up to speed on their tech journalists 8 Essential Technology Journalists To Follow On Twitter 8 Essential Technology Journalists To Follow On Twitter If you're reading this then the chances are you're a fan of technology. I would also hope, as a fan of technology, you're on Twitter by now. But who should you follow on Twitter? I've... Read More , Walt Mossberg is a veteran of the industry known for his love of all things Apple. Walt Mosspuppet is a parody account that had fun on the day of the Apple event. And this tweet was the pick of the bunch. It’s true too.

Music Mann

Jonathan Mann uploads a new song to YouTube every day, and Apple unveiling the Watch and iPhone 6 was his choice of subject for Sept. 9. He totally nails it too, with funny lyrics sung in the style of a Broadway musical.

Humans Are Overrated

We have got used to our nearest and dearest ignoring us through dinner because they’re too ensconced in their smartphone How Smartphones Are Ruining Your Life How Smartphones Are Ruining Your Life Your smartphone could be ruining your life, or at least have the capacity to do so in the future. Read More , and now we’re going to have to contend with smartwatches too. If you’re spending time with a real human being just do the right thing and turn it off.

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i Love It

iJustine managed to get her hands on an Apple Watch before the rest of us plebs. Or did she? No, she did not. She just drew on her wrist with marker pens and had a laugh at Apple’s expense. And rightly so.

The Wearable With No Name

As someone who writes a daily tech news column on this very site, I got used to conjuring up new names for “Apple’s rumored entry into the wearables market.” And all the company itself could come up with was Watch. Genius.

Risky Wrist Wrap

You could, if you really wanted to, go out and spend $700 on an iPhone 6 and another $350 on an Apple Watch. Or, like this guy, you could just strap an old iPhone to your wrist and be done with it. The choice is yours.

Faptastic

If you do decide to buy an Apple Watch, our advice is to take it off and hide it away in a drawer before embarking on a frenzied session of onanism. Even if there are new Jennifer Lawrence nudes Titillating Tweets: The 18 Funniest Reactions To The Celebrity Nudes Leak [Weird & Wonderful Web] Titillating Tweets: The 18 Funniest Reactions To The Celebrity Nudes Leak [Weird & Wonderful Web] Opinions on this saga have varied. We are not here to preach, so, presented without judgment on their suitability, here are some of the funniest tweets that appeared on Twitter in the aftermath. Read More being uploaded to 4chan.

Give Apple Money

Did he really imply through the power of satire that Apple Pay should be called “Give Apple Money.” He did. And he has a point.

Apple To The Core

If we’re honest we could have filled this list with similar tweets, because a lot of people taped a real apple to their arm in honor of the new Apple Watch. But we chose this one, because that looks like one tasty apple, and one hairy arm. Which is quite the combination.

Time To Jump Through Hoops

The most important element of any watch, be it smart or dumb, Swiss or Taiwanese, is its ability to tell the time. The Apple Watch can tell the time perfectly fine, it’s just that there are a number of hoops to jump through before it’ll give up that sensitive data.

Laugh At The Lefties

If you’re left-handed then I have some bad news… Apple hates you. It must do, because the Apple Watch is designed for right-handers, and lefties be damned. OK, so there are actually rumors it caters to both, but no one had informed Veronica Belmont by the time she tweeted about it.

Watch Hitler React

It doesn’t take much to get Hitler all riled up, as can be seen in our list of the best Hitler Reaction videos 10 Of The Funniest Hitler Reaction Videos (Downfall Parodies) Featuring Technology 10 Of The Funniest Hitler Reaction Videos (Downfall Parodies) Featuring Technology Downfall, or Der Untergang in German, is a film detailing the last days of World War II in April and May of 1945. It's an often uncomfortable portrayal of a dictator facing the end; of... Read More . The latest thing to get on his wick? Why, the iPhone 6 and Apple Watch, of course. But on this particular occasion he makes some good points.

Bargain Basement

At that price I’ll take two. Who is with me?

Paradoxical Parody

This is a beautiful parody of the Apple Watch announcement video, with just the right look and feel meshing nicely with the mocking script. “You can share your heartbeat, for some reason.” If anyone has figured out what the point of that feature is then please send your answers on a postcard to no one in particular.

Reasons To Be Watchful

I could easily write an article detailing 10 reasons you may want the Apple Watch. But listing 10 reasons you need one? That’s impossible. No one needs this thing. Not even Apple.

Add A Video Or Tweet To The List!

We hope you derived at least one laugh from this list of amusing reactions to the announcement of the Apple Watch. If not then a) sign up to undergo a sense of humor bypass, and b) scroll down to the comments section below to share a video or tweet about the Apple Watch that did make you laugh. You miserable misanthropes.

Image Credit: Terry Johnston via Flickr

  1. John Williams
    October 23, 2014 at 12:31 am

    I'll stick with my Dad's old Timex thanks. It's 67 years old this year and working beautifully. Why on earth would anyone buy a toy watch from Apple when there are millions of other exquisite examples of man's pinnacle of micro-engineering to own?

    No Apple product, past or present will ever be handed down as a family heirloom will it?

    Apple would have been better off hiding their toy features under a watch made in Switzerland or Japan.

    Where are Apple going with all this toy junk? And what do they do with all that money? Google, Gates and Bezos are trying to fix the planet with useful stuff or meaningful interventions into disease and education. For a quarter to a third of the price of an Apple product you can get all the functionality without the silly pricetag. When are they going to give something useful back to the world?

  2. Dave
    September 14, 2014 at 11:05 am

    Very good. Yet another mass con. from those nice folk at Apple that thousands (nay - MILLIONS) of otherwise sane, upstanding and perfectly normal folk will probably fall for, just because they think they have to.

  3. Amrit K
    September 14, 2014 at 4:22 am

    "Apple Watch" for iDiots

  4. Saikat B
    September 14, 2014 at 4:13 am

    It's certainly going to change the casual way we look at our watch faces. Imagine, if you are walking around with a Google Glass and an iWatch strapped to your wrists!

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