How To Spy On Your Spouse With Your Computer

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spy on your spouse computerA relationship is not always the easiest thing in the world to manage, and when you suspect your spouse of cheating, life can be very difficult. Are you being overly paranoid? Are you seeing signs of infidelity where none exists?

While it should always be a last resort, it is possible to spy on your spouse with your computer and set your mind at ease, or escape a troubled relationship with a clear conscience.

Is This Ethical?

This article will cover a few simple ways that you can spy on your spouse with your computer. While MakeUseOf authors have covered a number of very useful tools to prevent others from spying on you, such as Aibek’s article on How to Cheat Keylogger Spyware or Varun’s article on Public Computers Made Safe, the concept here is actually the monitoring and logging of how people are using your computer.

The ethics are certainly debatable, but in the end, you must ask yourself how ethical infidelity is. If you discover that you’re being overly paranoid, then uninstall all of the applications and continue on in your marriage with confidence. However, if you discover that you’re married to a liar and a cheat, isn’t it best that you find out now rather than many years from now? Once you’ve worked through the techniques in this article, you will have the answer to your questions either way.

Use VNC to Monitor PC Use & Capture Evidence

VNC is a very popular, free remote computing application. While it’s an excellent way to remotely control a computer, it is also one of the best applications for spying on unsuspecting users.

This approach requires a unique configuration.  First, install the full free version of VNC on the computer that you want to monitor. Install it in “service mode,” which will automatically launch the application every time the computer starts up. Enable password protection by opening the configuration and clicking on the “Authentication” tab. Next to “VNC Password Authentication,” click the configure button and create a secret password.

vnc

You’ll also want to configure it so that when you connect with your PC or laptop, it doesn’t affect the computer and signal to the user that something is up.  In the properties screen, click the “Inputs” tab and configure the VNC server to ignore all inputs from clients.

spy on your spouse software

Make sure all boxes are unselected. The final step is to install the software on your laptop or PC at some other location. Once it’s installed, open the application in “viewer” mode and view properties. Click on the “Inputs” tab and make sure that the boxes are unselected for the viewer to “send” anything to the server.

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Once you have the server (the suspect computer) and your viewer configured, you can connect to the remote PC whenever you like and monitor how the person sitting at the computer is using it. This can be boring and tedious, or you might find your unsuspecting husband/wife visiting some questionable websites…

Accessing Cell Phone Records

One of the more common methods that cheaters use to secretly communicate with their “lovers” is through the cell phone. Many people feel that since their cell phone is so easy to use in secluded locations, that it is a safe way to facilitate an affair. Unfortunately for cheaters, the cell phone is the worst device for trying to have private conversations.

Few companies are as diligent at keeping such detailed records as cell phone companies. Not only can you view the date and time that certain numbers were called, or which numbers called the phone, but often you can also view the length of the phone call. How do you have a look at those records?

If you are listed as one of the owners on the cell phone account (most families have multiple cell phones under one account) then you have every right to view the bill. The easiest way to do this is online. If your spouse hasn’t set up an online account yet, that’s even better. All you have to do is configure the account for online billing using your email address. However, if your spouse already has an account set up, getting access is simple.

First, visit the online login page (this example is from AT&T Wireless).

spy on your spouse software

Click the “Forgot your password?” link, and you’ll be taken to another page where you can have the password sent to the cell phone.

The trick to doing this is to submit this form late at night when you can “borrow” the cell phone. Submit the number on this page, click continue, and then view the password that gets sent to the phone via text message. After this, you’ll have full access to the entire online log of cell phone calls. Be careful, if you are not listed on the account, you could potentially get into legal trouble – so tread carefully.

Use a Keylogger To Log All Computer Usage

While there are dozens of MakeUseOf articles outlining how you can remove keyloggers from your PC, in this case you are actually going to install one so that you can monitor all activity on the PC.  Running a keylogger can reveal some very fascinating information about your spouse.  One example of such a keylogger is the free version of the Revealer Keylogger.

When you launch this application, you can set it up to automatically launch at Windows startup. You can also define the special key combination that will open the invisible application.

This particular application doesn’t allow stealth startup, so if you want to use this app, the best approach is to start it up secretly just before your spouse is about to use the computer. Then walk away into another room and allow the application to do its thing.

Many free keyloggers do a terrible job capturing keystrokes, especially if the user types fast. I tested four free keyloggers and found that Revealer was the only one that captured every keystroke.  It even logs application use as well. The results of such a log could turn out to be rather shocking – so be prepared!

Final Words

It’s important to keep in mind that all of the techniques detailed above should be used as a last resort. Many people find themselves in some very difficult situations, and however hard they try, they just can’t get to the truth. Technology can offer answers that a lying spouse refuses to provide. By capturing the evidence that proves infidelity or disloyalty, you can then free yourself from the burden of living a life full of doubt and worry.

What is your opinion on the ethics of using technology to spy on your spouse? Is it OK or is it an invasion of privacy?  Share your opinion in the comments section below.  Do you also know of any other software tools which can be used?   Tell us about them too.

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Comments (37)
  • Jeanna

    It’s a good article. What if it’s the lying cheater who is doing the spying? How do I prove that? I know there are clues, I just need to know exactly what I am looking for.

    Thanks

  • mili

    Im not so good with technology,,Im sure my husband is cheating,,,Im suffering with Domestic abuse,,,Im mother with 2 beautiful children,im 24/7 mom and wife,,my life is all about them..Im pretty,christian and honest person,,But my husband said bad things about me just because i believe in God and His religion is Anonymous…..Pls I have no proof or anything to show Him that he is cheating,,He called me crazy,,stupid ect,,,,I need help!!! Thank you so much….

  • Trace

    Someone who has nothing to hide, hides nothing………………..when you are married, if you are as one, as you should be, there is no privacy…………when your life and heart are at stake, do all you can to get to the bottom, these programs will either bust a person who is wronging you so you can move on, or prove their innocence. Technology is a wonderful thing!!

  • Lee

    How much time would I need to install set up and make sure the program works? My husband stays at home while I work.

  • JP

    Infidelity is an automatic and final track to divorce and separation, period.

    • VikingGrrl

      JP – you said, “Infidelity is an automatic and final track to divorce and separation, period.” – Well, I tend to agree, however, what is your point with regard to this technology being used? Personally, I agree with the general consensus here that many are stuck without recourse to prove their suspicions, and though it is an ugly and very painful situation all around, peace of mind being hard to come by (given the fact the alleged will not ever tell you if they are indeed doing what you are suspecting them of doing), you have to take things into your own hands. It is unfortunate, but, if things were different, well, as Steven Wright used to say, “on the other hand, you have more fingers.”

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For more details, please read our disclosure.
Affiliate Disclamer

This review may contain affiliate links, which pays us a small compensation if you do decide to make a purchase based on our recommendation. Our judgement is in no way biased, and our recommendations are always based on the merits of the items.

For more details, please read our disclosure.