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spy on your spouse computerA relationship is not always the easiest thing in the world to manage, and when you suspect your spouse of cheating, life can be very difficult. Are you being overly paranoid? Are you seeing signs of infidelity where none exists?

While it should always be a last resort, it is possible to spy on your spouse with your computer and set your mind at ease, or escape a troubled relationship with a clear conscience.

Is This Ethical?

This article will cover a few simple ways that you can spy on your spouse with your computer. While MakeUseOf authors have covered a number of very useful tools to prevent others from spying on you, such as Aibek’s article on How to Cheat Keylogger Spyware How To Cheat Keylogger Spyware How To Cheat Keylogger Spyware Read More or Varun’s article on Public Computers Made Safe Public Computers Made Safe - Security Tools and Tips Public Computers Made Safe - Security Tools and Tips Read More , the concept here is actually the monitoring and logging of how people are using your computer.

The ethics are certainly debatable, but in the end, you must ask yourself how ethical infidelity is. If you discover that you’re being overly paranoid, then uninstall all of the applications and continue on in your marriage with confidence. However, if you discover that you’re married to a liar and a cheat, isn’t it best that you find out now rather than many years from now? Once you’ve worked through the techniques in this article, you will have the answer to your questions either way.

Use VNC to Monitor PC Use & Capture Evidence

VNC is a very popular, free remote computing application. While it’s an excellent way to remotely control a computer, it is also one of the best applications for spying on unsuspecting users.

This approach requires a unique configuration.  First, install the full free version of VNC on the computer that you want to monitor. Install it in “service mode,” which will automatically launch the application every time the computer starts up. Enable password protection by opening the configuration and clicking on the “Authentication” tab. Next to “VNC Password Authentication,” click the configure button and create a secret password.

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vnc

You’ll also want to configure it so that when you connect with your PC or laptop, it doesn’t affect the computer and signal to the user that something is up.  In the properties screen, click the “Inputs” tab and configure the VNC server to ignore all inputs from clients.

spy on your spouse software

Make sure all boxes are unselected. The final step is to install the software on your laptop or PC at some other location. Once it’s installed, open the application in “viewer” mode and view properties. Click on the “Inputs” tab and make sure that the boxes are unselected for the viewer to “send” anything to the server.

Once you have the server (the suspect computer) and your viewer configured, you can connect to the remote PC whenever you like and monitor how the person sitting at the computer is using it. This can be boring and tedious, or you might find your unsuspecting husband/wife visiting some questionable websites…

Accessing Cell Phone Records

One of the more common methods that cheaters use to secretly communicate with their “lovers” is through the cell phone. Many people feel that since their cell phone is so easy to use in secluded locations, that it is a safe way to facilitate an affair. Unfortunately for cheaters, the cell phone is the worst device for trying to have private conversations.

Few companies are as diligent at keeping such detailed records as cell phone companies. Not only can you view the date and time that certain numbers were called, or which numbers called the phone, but often you can also view the length of the phone call. How do you have a look at those records?

If you are listed as one of the owners on the cell phone account (most families have multiple cell phones under one account) then you have every right to view the bill. The easiest way to do this is online. If your spouse hasn’t set up an online account yet, that’s even better. All you have to do is configure the account for online billing using your email address. However, if your spouse already has an account set up, getting access is simple.

First, visit the online login page (this example is from AT&T Wireless).

spy on your spouse software

Click the “Forgot your password?” link, and you’ll be taken to another page where you can have the password sent to the cell phone.

The trick to doing this is to submit this form late at night when you can “borrow” the cell phone. Submit the number on this page, click continue, and then view the password that gets sent to the phone via text message. After this, you’ll have full access to the entire online log of cell phone calls. Be careful, if you are not listed on the account, you could potentially get into legal trouble – so tread carefully.

Use a Keylogger To Log All Computer Usage

While there are dozens of MakeUseOf articles outlining how you can remove keyloggers from your PC, in this case you are actually going to install one so that you can monitor all activity on the PC.  Running a keylogger can reveal some very fascinating information about your spouse.  One example of such a keylogger is the free version of the Revealer Keylogger.

When you launch this application, you can set it up to automatically launch at Windows startup. You can also define the special key combination that will open the invisible application.

This particular application doesn’t allow stealth startup, so if you want to use this app, the best approach is to start it up secretly just before your spouse is about to use the computer. Then walk away into another room and allow the application to do its thing.

Many free keyloggers do a terrible job capturing keystrokes, especially if the user types fast. I tested four free keyloggers and found that Revealer was the only one that captured every keystroke.  It even logs application use as well. The results of such a log could turn out to be rather shocking – so be prepared!

Final Words

It’s important to keep in mind that all of the techniques detailed above should be used as a last resort. Many people find themselves in some very difficult situations, and however hard they try, they just can’t get to the truth. Technology can offer answers that a lying spouse refuses to provide. By capturing the evidence that proves infidelity or disloyalty, you can then free yourself from the burden of living a life full of doubt and worry.

What is your opinion on the ethics of using technology to spy on your spouse? Is it OK or is it an invasion of privacy?  Share your opinion in the comments section below.  Do you also know of any other software tools which can be used?   Tell us about them too.

  1. Laura Collins
    November 25, 2016 at 9:14 am

    My husband use to be a big time cheat,and i was curious of getting proofs about it for real then i saw recommendations about hackaster16@gmail.com  online and never hesitated to contact him,He asked me for some few information about my husband mobile device no personal info was asked for also,i provided it all to him and in less than 24 hours i was getting too see my husband text messages,call logs and as well as whats app messages as they come into his phone,i was able to get good and solid proof for my Antony to file a divorce,if you are having similar issues i would advice you contact hackaster16@gmail.com tell him Laura Collins referred  you.

  2. Tracker
    November 24, 2016 at 12:23 pm

    Anonymous is the best hacker around just give it a shot for your credit cards top ups , bank deposits , block chain and Bitcoin hacks, A remote mobile phone hack and tracking, advance spying spyware and remote installation, location of missing persons and tracking a scammer.

    Contact. Darkwebguru at gmail dot com
    Thanks.

  3. Wu Shi
    November 15, 2016 at 1:21 pm

    Hey friends, i am Wu shi(zack), i wish to give a little testimony that would help people who are blindly contacting scams and losing their money. Its hard to actually believe real hackers exist as everyone wants money first, i had stopped searching fr hackers since i lost ll my savings to them last year, early this year a friend in the military told me of a retired hacker he worked with, i tried thomas daley at cyber-wizard dot cum. He was too high and due to my experience with scammers i decided to be extra careful but with the way his fee was high i suspected he was the real thing, this was how i tried to persuade him to work for me before i pay which he finally accepted because he knew and had worked for my friend who told me to contact him. Since i got to Thomas my life has changed as we have done several works, he handles more hacking issues of seized funds, stolen funds, bank hacks, treasury hack, major hacks, wire transfers, instructions allot i don't know of that has to do with big money, he also does the normal hacks like Facebook, email, whats app, phone hacks, he also has a special way of spying on spouses, i tried it with my wife and found out shes clean and a true mother, just let him know what you need and he will, although there's a job he didn't do for me as he said the things needed for the job isn't available yet. His fee isn't cheap but he might be able to do your work first and you pay when done. All i can say is Thomas is the best that ever happened to me so give it a try since he wont ask for payment first, when sending him getin to him you can use me as your reference.

  4. Gloria Luke
    November 11, 2016 at 11:15 am

    Hi everyone...My name's Gloria Luke, i'm 46 and i was in the most loving relationship with my soon to be ex-husband for 15years. I never had any reason to doubt him until recently when he started keeping late nights and all. So i was introduced to this very good hacker who goes by the name BirdEye...he helped me hack his phone and gave me real-time access to his phone. You all should contact (BIRDEYE.HACK@GMAIL.COM) today and thank me later.
    Ps: You can contact him for all sort of hacks too such as facebook, email, website, bank account, instagram and all other social networking sites.

  5. Jane Miller
    November 8, 2016 at 12:11 am

    I and my two kids were being cheated and abused by my ex husband because he's a cheater. I needed proof to file for divorce and I was in need of a hacker to help me access all the information and activities going on his mobile phone (emails,text messages, calls log,social media apps and so on). I read on a blog about this genius hacker that helped me gain access to his phone remotely. I'm more than happy I found this genius hacker, he is very reliable and fast. All thanks to him for helping me out and saving me from my abuser. I will use this medium to recommend (pyramideye.hack@outlook.com) for all types of hacks. Get to him and I'm sure you'd give recommendation about his services also.

  6. Chris Walter
    November 2, 2016 at 1:50 pm

    Please stop getting scammed by fake hackers!!! If you need to check on your partner's sincerity, employee's honesty, recover your hacked email passwords, Social network hacks (i.e Facebook,Whatsapp,Twitter,IG and many more), change your school grades, or you want to gain access to your cheating spouse phone. All you need to do is Contact the best hacker via (pyramideye.hack@outlook.com) a trial will convince you.He is totally legit and certified, All thanks to him for helping me catch my cheating wife.

    • Jane Miller
      November 8, 2016 at 12:08 am

      Thanks for recommending pyramideye hacker to me. He saved me and my kids from my abuser. I'm more than happy and satisfied with his services. I will surely give recommendations about his services also.

  7. mary
    August 31, 2016 at 10:28 pm

    Hello if you suspect your spouse is having extramarital affair,
    contact cyberphonesolution (AT) gmail com. He is the best out here.
    if you need hacking into a cheating spouse phone,email, Facebook, bank statements, etc..
    You really need cyberphonesolution AT gmail com .its so discreet and interesting, he once helped me out.
    i hope you find this helpfull

  8. teresa scott
    August 17, 2016 at 12:38 am

    I was able to get evidence on my cheating husband through the service of hyperhacktive1 gmail com … I got detailed info about my spouse secret dating, call logs, whatsapp and others..i found out he had many accounts on POF and match…you can contact him too he also helped 2 others I know. So I can vouch he lld do a good job. Goodluck

  9. Alex Webb
    July 20, 2016 at 8:15 pm

    You need a hacker to go to for all of your cyber issues, then pauleta.steelbreaker on gmail is the one you should consult or text +1 928-323-3115

  10. sherry23
    July 18, 2016 at 11:55 am

    have tried him and i have confirmed his good work among all of this hackers out there ,if you have got any issues with hacking , probably a cheating partner or you wanna change your school grades , clear our criminal record or spy on someone hit the great guy up on matrixhackka007 at gmail dot com and consider your big problem solved .. dan referred you in case you contact him

    ...........

  11. benson kate
    June 13, 2016 at 2:34 am

    contact cyberhacktivist1 gmail com for any kind of mobile hack;hacking iCloud or jailbreaking your iPhone, he has helped me before so i trust his job and i can vouch for him, he can give you solution to any hacking service.? thanks

  12. mary
    May 28, 2016 at 10:17 am

    I don’t usually buy into this sort of stuff, but it feels so REAL!if you truly want to know if your husband or your wife is really cheating mail dejatech007@gmail..He is a certified ethical hacker and a systems programmer who can bypass any firewall.he does any job ranging from school record upgrades, email hacks, facebook hacks, whatsapp hacks,text messages,viber. Just name it and it 100% assurance

  13. Kelli mackey
    May 19, 2016 at 9:02 am

    hey everyone, I’m Stephanie...hackerethique helped me when I was going through a lying phase from my cheating boyfriend. He was able to help me intercept all communication that went through his phone, both sent and received. My phone was basically a mirror of his and I directly got his text messages, call logs, multimedia and access to all his social network messages. Mr. Bruno made the whole process look so easy and the spyware came with instructions that made it very user friendly, I dumped my now ex-boyfriend's cheating ass and I am really happy I moved on. I promised to help my PI (Bruno) tell my friends about his services: if you need to be sure about your partner's sincerity all you need to do is shoot him a mail at hackerethique gmail com. his rates and very affordable and worth every penny. Although, likes being very discreet for obvious reasons so you could mention my name for a quicker response

  14. j82170
    May 13, 2016 at 7:39 am

    Hi Ryan, I have some Technical question .. To setup this VNC .. as you writing about what have to be set it up .. Install it in “service mode,” ... Enable password protection ...“VNC Password Authentication,” ... “Inputs” ... etc. ... SO my question is , do i have to install and set up this VNC in the location where the laptop is used .. i mean the internet service location .. if this lets call it TARGET laptop is behind the VERIZON ROUTER WITH FIREWALL ?? What i mean is if i have to set up any IP address AND PORT FORWARDING TO HAVE THIS VNC TO WORK ... IT LOOKS LIKE EASY TO DO ... BUT I'M NOT SURE ..??

    PLEASE RESPOND SOON ... THANKS !

    • j82170
      May 13, 2016 at 6:18 pm

      OR IF ANYBODY KNOW HOW TO DO IT ... I'D APPRECIATE THAT .. :)

  15. Callie
    February 6, 2016 at 6:22 pm

    I took my cell phone with me one morning when I needed to spend the day talking to my affair partner. I finally answered the phone at 5 that evening which set up the ability of my husband who wrote a program and installed it on his phone to remotely seize all functions of the phone I told my husband I would be home by ten after spending the evening with an old college roommate. I was more than a little anebriated when I accepted the offer of a nightcap at the other mans hotel room at the Hyate. my husband bot tracked us and listened to everything that went on that night and the next morning when I arrived home he trapped us in the drive. When he raped on the window with his cane I knew he had listened in on us when my husband said your loser cripple want to get you out of the house and down the road with your "girlfriend" The main problem with that he was also married and just saw me when he was in town on business. So he cleared the drive and followed us. Into the house. I could hear him and his cane come through the kitchen then the other man said watch this as he swept my husbands cane, Before the police arrived my husbands cane had shattered the left side of the other mans scull flying across the room like a spear.
    My husband had pulled himself across the room and was breaking every bone above his chest yelling with every hit who's the pathetic looser you let a cripple take you. When I tried to stop my husbands rage by holding his arm I was swatted into a corner and crawled over and called 911. Two weeks later after trying to kill his father in the stress center the week before. He was being released on a night I had made a promise to his father mother and his fathers best friend I would go to a fund raising dinner as the fourth at the table. I had just finished getting ready when I heard somebody come through the patio doors. I had nor remembered the center sent his cane home with me and I did not hear it on the floor. I went out thinking it was his father mother or his fathers friend asking for help with a clasp and ran square into my husbands chest. I did not make the dinner that evening, nobody else did either. My husband forced the first sex in 31 years for him that night. wit6h me begging him and even trying to negotiate the way the evening went. I gave my husband 100.00. Told him to pick a place to meet in 4 hours, and we could get all his grievances against everyone on the table from the last 31 years of our marriage, I just wanted a way to slow things down to think. I did want to come up with solutions that would be satisfactory to all. MY husbands only consideration that night was he was the only judge and arbiter under his roof and from that day forward his word was the only thing that mattered under his roof. I was forced into sex that evening. The first sex he had from me in 31 years and he wasn't nice about it. I was begging him to understand if he had been allowed anything he wanted the last 31 years this was the result him taking every thing he wanted without regard for needs. and his spying on me set up the next three years of hell which has not finished.

    • Ryan Dube
      May 6, 2016 at 10:32 pm

      Callie - this sounds like just about the worst relationship I've ever heard of. I hope you're out of that situation now? That is definitely not how a person should behave when they use software to uncover an unloyal spouse!

  16. oliver jens
    December 2, 2015 at 12:08 am

    Need a hacker? I was in a bit of a tough spot and didn't know what to do until a friend recommended this guy cybershadow76 AT gmail.com. I was pleased with his professionalism and thoroughly satisfied with how he handled it. He's your guy if you need one!

    • mazza mazza
      December 25, 2015 at 1:52 pm

      so you'd trust an unknown hacker to spy for you, on the understanding that he might also spy on you, rifle through both your bank accounts, etc?

      if you're that desperate for info that you trust an anonymous recommendation from an unknown source, you probably deserve to be cheated on.

      don't be a moron and think about something less mental like having a serious conversation with your spouse!

  17. waymati
    November 24, 2015 at 8:05 am

    Another solution would be to use Fireworld Controller, it include bult-in keylogger and spy-bot..
    It's free.
    Link for the lazy: http://fireworld.fr

  18. Jean
    November 13, 2015 at 12:04 pm

    I don't believe that it is wrong to spy on a cheating spouse. If they are pathological liars what can one do? My husband has been chatting with women online for years and justifies his disgusting behavior by saying it's harmless and just fantasy. He knows he is hurting me but he still continues. I need to monitor his internet activity as I will never get the truth from him. I had Webwatcher installed but it's very unreliable. I hardly receive recorded data. I would like to know of a solution that is reliable and discreet. He travels a lot so I need something that will give me peace of mind when he is away from home. He is tech savvy so I know that he detects something so I need software that is untraceable. Please can someone give me advice on this. Thank you.
    Jean

    • mazza mazza
      December 25, 2015 at 2:01 pm

      here is your advice, though i seriously doubt you will consider it:

      1. you say he's a cheating spouse... if you know this already why do you require further evidence?

      2. you are being hurt and you say he doesn't care as he believes it is harmless. either accept it (of course, you shouldn't) or do something about it. are you prepared to leave over this? if not, what is the point of spying further? beyond hurting yourself, what will you get out of it?

      3. if you genuinely believe you already have the 'truth' then how does it help you to have a confirmation from him? how will that change things? or maybe you don't quite believe it?

      4. how do you get peace of mind from spying on him? in your current state, as you believe him to be a liar and a cheat, it will be impossible to prove himsel in your eyes as you will merely believe it's going to happen, one day. you're not his mother or his conscience so, if you believe it's going to happen, why wait?

      5. what if you're wrong? you're just as likely to cause a break-up with your spying as his presumed infidelity.

      i'd suggest youu get to the root of your belief... if you genuinely have proof then you'd be better off finding out why he conducts himeself like this when he already married? maybe there's something to work on in the relationship to bring about more faith in each other?

      he either is or isn't a cheat. if he is, why is he... if he isn't, why do you want to believe he is?

      answer all these questions before going down this path of further spying.

  19. Lindsey Welch
    June 16, 2015 at 9:35 pm

    My partner has cheated so many times on the internet but has promised he has changed and will never do it again. He has even given me his Facebook password, now of course he will not go on there. I want to tell him that I am giving him another chance and for him to change his password to something I do not know. If I add this spyware and get him to change the password, will I be able to see what the new password is? I know it sounds awful but I need to know the truth if he really has changed or not.

    • Ryan Dube
      May 6, 2016 at 10:36 pm

      You have to be really careful about accessing any systems you don't have authorization to access. You'll notice the examples in this article are about shared computers or shared cellular accounts -- so you have legal access to the system. Trying to hack into a system or an account isn't just unethical but could get you into legal trouble.

  20. Jeanna
    April 30, 2015 at 7:11 pm

    It's a good article. What if it's the lying cheater who is doing the spying? How do I prove that? I know there are clues, I just need to know exactly what I am looking for.

    Thanks

    • Ryan Dube
      May 6, 2016 at 10:37 pm

      If you aren't cheating, it doesn't really make a difference if the person is spying on you, does it? The goal should be to out the cheater -- spying on an honest person is really a waste of time for the "lying cheater".

  21. mili
    April 26, 2015 at 2:09 am

    Im not so good with technology,,Im sure my husband is cheating,,,Im suffering with Domestic abuse,,,Im mother with 2 beautiful children,im 24/7 mom and wife,,my life is all about them..Im pretty,christian and honest person,,But my husband said bad things about me just because i believe in God and His religion is Anonymous.....Pls I have no proof or anything to show Him that he is cheating,,He called me crazy,,stupid ect,,,,I need help!!! Thank you so much....

    • Ryan Dube
      May 6, 2016 at 10:38 pm

      If you are suffering from domestic abuse, I'd say you have a better reason than cheating to leave your husband.

  22. Trace
    April 1, 2015 at 5:59 pm

    Someone who has nothing to hide, hides nothing....................when you are married, if you are as one, as you should be, there is no privacy............when your life and heart are at stake, do all you can to get to the bottom, these programs will either bust a person who is wronging you so you can move on, or prove their innocence. Technology is a wonderful thing!!

  23. Lee
    December 30, 2014 at 7:43 pm

    How much time would I need to install set up and make sure the program works? My husband stays at home while I work.

  24. JP
    December 18, 2014 at 3:42 am

    Infidelity is an automatic and final track to divorce and separation, period.

    • VikingGrrl
      January 4, 2015 at 8:44 am

      JP - you said, "Infidelity is an automatic and final track to divorce and separation, period." - Well, I tend to agree, however, what is your point with regard to this technology being used? Personally, I agree with the general consensus here that many are stuck without recourse to prove their suspicions, and though it is an ugly and very painful situation all around, peace of mind being hard to come by (given the fact the alleged will not ever tell you if they are indeed doing what you are suspecting them of doing), you have to take things into your own hands. It is unfortunate, but, if things were different, well, as Steven Wright used to say, "on the other hand, you have more fingers."

  25. loraine
    December 21, 2009 at 2:43 pm

    great stuff, dont mind bad coments, this is educational and very usfull.

  26. brenda
    December 1, 2009 at 10:01 am

    Sorry, I should have been more explicit. It logs the person off and goes to the login screen (Windows XP login screen). I've checked and unchecked everything you've said.

    I'm doing this for all the computers in my boss's office.

    Thanks for your time!

  27. brenda
    November 30, 2009 at 10:40 pm

    Ryan Dube - I have followed all of your instructions for installing VNC, but every time I log into the other PC, it takes it to the home screen. What is configured wrong?

    Thanks for your time!

    • Ryan Dube
      December 1, 2009 at 12:24 am

      Hi Brenda - when you say it takes you to the home screen, do you mean all you see is the desktop of the target computer you're connecting to? Or do you mean it's not connecting at all?

  28. Example
    May 29, 2009 at 9:16 am

    Ehm.. I don't know if i should be posting this in here. But here goes.. :P

    Hamachi is a great application i use to help friends (who already have VNC installed) fix issues on their PC. But sometimes I kinda take a peek at the stuff they do on the internet (which is mostly watching p**n). My fav thing about this application is, people with dynamic IPs (or behind firewall and stuff like that) still get the same hamachi ip. For more info check out the Wikipedia Article or google it. :)

  29. wolverene
    April 24, 2009 at 3:47 am

    Come on now guys! It's obvious that stuff like this are at the discretion of the user. It's how you use it. A knife is supposedly for the kitchen most of the times. Yet it is there in plain site at the kitchen and you can use that to kill people. It is of the importance of how you use it. Bottom line no matter how many laws out there are. It all comes down to the proper use of it in any given situation. One final blow of an example. Get this right. My cousins are cops. Some cops are bad. They have guns. Who's protecting us now from them? Huh? It's how you use it. If you have to use it to save someone, or for a better cause. It has to be done. I'll say it'll take ages of debate and no one will ever get the right answer simply because one answer is right for one doesn't necessarily mean it is for the other.

  30. Ryan Dube
    April 6, 2009 at 6:00 pm

    Hi Jake - thanks for your comment. Yes you'll need to know the current IP address of your VNC server. Log onto that PC, open a command prompt and just type "ipconfig," and make a note of the IP address. Use that IP to connect to that server from your viewer.

    • mili
      April 26, 2015 at 2:17 am

      I dont know if I can do this...im not good in computers,,My cruel husband put pasword every where,,cell phone ,tablet,, computer,laptops,,,,He hide everything ,,we married 7 years a go and He never let me see anything in His Stuff., This is terrible,,,I know He is cheating but I cant have any evidence, Pls help!!!. My life is so sad living with this situation....He is not honest,,,

  31. Ryan Dube
    April 6, 2009 at 5:59 pm

    Hey Greg - yes, actually when VNC is installed you'll see an icon in the lower right corner of the screen with "VNC" on it. Most users won't even know what it is.

  32. Jake
    April 6, 2009 at 1:44 am

    I think my gf is cheating, so I got questions for the VNC is there steps missing like do you need the ip address or something else to connect the viewer to the server?

  33. greg
    April 1, 2009 at 4:54 pm

    how do you find out if this has been installed on your computer though?

  34. Guy McDowell
    March 20, 2009 at 10:59 pm

    I think it's an awesome article. Very well written. A few years back I was using VNC so I could check e-mail and such from home, while I was at work. I logged on once and my now ex-wife was doing something she shouldn't have been. And she knew we had VNC.

  35. Smarterchild
    March 20, 2009 at 6:33 pm

    can i make money off this or is it usa

  36. Ryan Dube
    March 20, 2009 at 11:06 am

    Thanks for all of the great comments everyone. Even those of you who feel such an article is wrong - I respect that. My motivation for writing this article came from being asked by a friend what he could do, as he suspects his wife is having an affair. He knew that I'm a tech geek. I asked why he suspected her, and his reasons were pretty convincing - caught her in a few lies, etc...

    Therefore, I shared the same information with him as we've offered in this article here...with the caveat that you've GOT to understand what's reasonable and legal where you live, as many of you have correctly pointed out. Also - if you want to understand how to *prevent* people from spying on you like this - heck, MakeUseOf is loaded with awesome articles on how to clean keyloggers and otherwise protect your PC.

    With all of that said - I think from the reactions here that the act of spying certainly does raise some interesting questions. As many of you have stated, if you choose to spy, is the relationship already over at that point? I really don't know the answer to that - it's a very tough call. Thanks again for all of your comments - I've enjoyed reading all of your opinions.

    • mili
      April 26, 2015 at 2:20 am

      Thank u for help!. God bless you...nothing is more terrible that know that your love is cheating and not evidence.. :(

  37. Nancy
    March 20, 2009 at 8:29 am

    I like this piece. Even if you don't want to spy, it educates people who might be the target of this kind of thing. It's not just jealous lovers who might use these tactics, it could be your boss, housekeeper, coworker, kid, employee, creepy guest, the guy that fixed your computer or sold you the used cell phone. You may be the most ethical person on earth but it's good to know what's out there. I've been married for 29 years and so far I haven't spied on my husband. But who knows, maybe sometime I might want to and this article will be useful. Show me the tools and let me decide how to use them.

    • eduard
      December 28, 2014 at 9:10 pm

      how should I spy on my older brother . what things should I do or make to spy on my brother. I am 9 years old and I am a girl.my name is sarah. I will send you on my dad"s email because I do not have an email.

    • eduard
      December 28, 2014 at 9:13 pm

      sorry but I tought you will help me. please answer me. thank you.......??????? I am waiting

  38. Atlanta Private Investigator
    March 20, 2009 at 7:43 am

    Ryan/Mark This is a great tutorial, however one should check the local laws and federal laws before adopting such behavior in a spousal case. There are plenty of people with felonies on their record now for conducting activities such as this. It's irrelevant who owns the computer, who owns the phone line, who pays for the internet connection, etc. If the person using the computer has a REASONABLE expectation of privacy, and you violate it (in a judge's or jury's eyes) you will be in some deep and very hot water. Talk to an attorney before you do anything like this for this kind of purpose.

  39. Marie
    March 20, 2009 at 7:36 am

    Ithink this article was RIGHT ON! It's up to each person how/where/when its ok to use this or not use this information, BUT some of us "want" to know, if your not one of those then use your delete key.
    Makeuseof isnt the moral police for goodness sake, there are lots of other information everyday that doesnt pretain to each of us as well, I dont use MAC so all those arent worth my time reading, and vise versa, Pick and choose what your interested in and leave the rest of us the right to do the same.
    Quit expecting everyone else to only read what YOU would want us to read, this is still America!
    Hats off to you Mark, Some of us actually appreicate your article!

  40. Mark O'Neill
    March 20, 2009 at 6:51 am

    I am the editor of MakeUseOf and I would just like to make a few comments on why I chose to publish this article.

    I know a couple of people who are trapped in unhappy marriages mainly because their spouses are unfaithful. But the one thing that stops them from leaving the marriage and getting a divorce is that they can't prove to a divorce court that their spouse is cheating on them. No evidence of infidelity means no divorce. So they are forced to stay at home because otherwise if they left with the kids, they would have nothing.

    So when I read Ryan's article, I immediately decided to publish it because I am sure there are many other people out there in similar marriages (not just wives but husbands too) who need that proof for a divorce to get out of marriages and this technology will help them to do it.

    Yes, in the wrong hands, these programs can be used for other scary things but ALL technology can be used for other bad things if you put your mind to it.

    If you have already made your mind up that this post is disgusting then my comments will be meaningless. But to other readers, I hope that what I have said will help you to understand my reasoning for publishing Ryan's article.

    • becky
      April 29, 2009 at 1:05 pm

      This is a poor excuse. Most states have "no fault" divorce laws so infidelity is never an issue and you don't need proof of anything to get a divorce.

      • Susan
        August 15, 2009 at 4:03 pm

        While most states have "no fault" divorce, the terms of settlement/alimony/child custody are sometimes at the discretion of the court - and this is applied district by district, no matter what the "state" policy may be. To have proof of a spouse's deceit - not just in terms from relationships, but finances - can make a great difference in the outcome of divorce proceedings. THANK YOU to Mark O'Neill for publishing a lifeline to the miserably married and their discouraged/neglected children!

      • Jimmi
        January 15, 2010 at 9:00 pm

        ...well according to scientific fact proven by psychologist...infidelity never directly leads to break up. It can bring on negative effects but will and does never constitute a divorce.

  41. Del
    March 19, 2009 at 10:46 pm

    This is truly a very scary article. Any information such as this could turn out to be a very bad thing in the wrong hands and could do more harm than good, especially if the suspicion is unfounded.

  42. Shame
    March 19, 2009 at 10:36 pm

    This is a truly disgusting article.

  43. Vale
    March 19, 2009 at 10:23 pm

    I'm sorry, as long as it's to protect your privacy is one thing. But writing articles on how to spy on someone else is not right. There are already too many people who do it - and no matter which selfish reasons you can do it for (saving yourself heartache, time, money) it's simply not right. I don't think this kind of article belongs on MUO, to be honest. I was disappointed to find it here.

  44. me
    March 19, 2009 at 6:21 pm

    I think you'd better serve your site and the question of the ethics if you accompany each suggested spying tool with a section on how to remove it or detect it.

  45. Stephen Williamson
    March 19, 2009 at 4:04 pm

    I've been in a relationship where doing this would have saved me a lot of heartache and a hell of a lot of money in the long run. That said, I would never in a million years spy on my spouse like this. I think if you're at the point where you think you need to do this, there's probably not much of a relationship left. It's a huge violation of trust.

    I would, however, use these methods to monitor computer usage by my children. I'd let them know they were being watched though - no "gotcha" bull.

  46. Eddie
    March 19, 2009 at 3:44 pm

    Can this be used on my Mac?

  47. techandlife
    March 19, 2009 at 3:13 pm

    The ethics of this is indeed highly debatable. Leaving that aside, unfortunately, this sort of monitoring has a dark side as well. When I started to read the piece, it jogged my memory back to a post written by Bill Mullins last summer on how technology is being used in spousal abuse. Here's a piece from that post:

    ...this type of technology is now pervasive in spousal abuse. According to Anna Stepanov, manager of the Anti-Spyware program at McAfee Avert Labs, “Using spyware for surveillance in cases of domestic abuse is a serious matter.” ....“Monitoring a victim’s online, cell phone, or general computing activity is of more value than ever in controlling or hurting a victim.”

    The article is well worth reading and really thought provoking. Here's the URL:

    http://billmullins.wordpress.com/2008/08/20/domestic-violence-hi-tech-spousal-abuse/

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