How To Drive All Your Facebook Friends & Twitter Followers Crazy

Ads by Google

Intro image I hate you   How To Drive All Your Facebook Friends & Twitter Followers CrazyHave you ever wanted to drive everyone crazy on your social networks? For a long time this has been a goal of mine that I have aspired for. It takes a lot of hard work, persistence and dedication, but the result is very worth it. That result is causing resentment among all your online contacts on Facebook, Twitter and other social networks. Hopefully through this process you can actually achieve the ultimate prize and that is that they would completely unfriend and unfollow you all together! Great huh?!

Note that most of these can also be applied in real life, every day circumstances – which is highly effective if you desire to live a lonely and uneventful life!

Talk About Yourself Constantly

Facebook selfish post 2   How To Drive All Your Facebook Friends & Twitter Followers Crazy

This is an important one. Everyone always wants to hear what you have to say. No matter what it is, as long as it interests you, you know all others can’t wait to hear about it. Bragging is exceptionally nice to hear too, and can be a great way to build new connections and maintain current ones online.

Ads by Google

Share Everything You Think Of… Every 60 Seconds

Facebook oversharing   How To Drive All Your Facebook Friends & Twitter Followers Crazy

This is also known as “oversharing.” It is a great asset in communicating with people you hardly know or just met and is best done publicly. This can be done by setting your Facebook status or Twitter tweets to “public” so that anyone in the world can see them. After all, you need everyone to know everything about you, otherwise what’s the point of social media? To achieve this in “real life,” walk to any street corner, especially in Downtown where people are known to congregate, and yell your thoughts as they come to your mind into a megaphone.

Oversharing   How To Drive All Your Facebook Friends & Twitter Followers Crazy

Invite Everyone To All Events
(Especially Events Not Requiring Physical Attendance)

Dislike button event smaller   How To Drive All Your Facebook Friends & Twitter Followers Crazy

When you become a friend with someone, or they follow you, it automatically means that they want to go to everything you are going to. If there is a birthday party for your sister’s boyfriend’s mom and you’re going, you can’t leave out those who are your friends. Think about how you would feel if you were left out of an event such as this? Personally, I would be devastated – as should you. The fact is, this happens all too often where people are excluded for entertainment which could have brought them great joy. You can make a difference! Don’t fall into the trend of not inviting everyone you know to everything you do – rise up and invite!

Another side to this is ‘events’ which aren’t actually attended. Have you ever noticed that you’re the only one not wearing a “Facebook Needs A Dislike Button” shirt? When I first had an experience such as this, I was speechless. I tried to find the group leader so that I could get involved, but no one would invite me. No one – can you believe that? Make sure that next time you are the fortunate individual who is given such an opportunity, you don’t just keep it to yourself, but tell everyone and invite them all to the ‘event.’ At first they may think you’re kidding since it isn’t the cultural thing to do, but soon the change will spread and you’ll be proud to be apart of the life-altering trend!

To do this outside of social media is a bit more difficult, but it can be done. If you are creative you can discover ways, such as sending mass mailings to those you barely know about a special new gig you’re putting on where everyone sends five dollars (or more) to a complete stranger of their choice. It’s a great way to give back when you can’t afford to!

Share All Of Your Online Activity

Twitter Klout Status   How To Drive All Your Facebook Friends & Twitter Followers Crazy

Facebook app activity. Klout scores. Foursquare check-ins. What do all of these have in common? Well, for one they are just a few of the many things that you do which you’re able to share online. What else do all of these things have in common? Well, contrary to what you might think, this is actually what your friends and followers are really wanting to see. Sure they like your original, creative or positive statuses and tweets, but what people really want to see is where your at, what your eating, what you are good at talking about and what your celebrity look alike is. If you don’t share these things, you will lose friends, on and offline. You don’t want that do you? That’s what I figured.

Another thing you should do is when you’re hanging out with your friends, tell them about all your Facebook statuses, Twitter tweets and your top score on Angry Birds. This will entice them to hang out with you again because it leaves them asking the question “What else does he or she do online that I don’t know about?” They want to know. And you know you want to tell them.

Purposely Misspell And Shorten Words, And Leave Out Punctuation

poor facebook post   How To Drive All Your Facebook Friends & Twitter Followers Crazy

The one thing that drives me crazy is someone who’s a grammar freak. Who cares if I don’t use an apostrophe or put a period at the end of a sentence. There are so many more important things in life to worry about than spelling and grammar. This is why you should always use shorthand and abbreviations in tweets, statuses, texts, emails, even blog posts. At first, it may feel uncomfortable, but you’ll quickly begin to realize that it’s actually easier to read! It also shows that you are serious about what you do, especially if you’re representing a business or important cause like the American Shorthand Society (ASS). An added bonus is if what you say is a little bit difficult to understand. This keeps your friends and followers interested to keep reading your post in order to fully understand it, guaranteeing that they’ll do the same next time!

Bottom line is, spell check is for lazy people. And grammar is for those with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder.

Discuss Or Inquire About Private Situations… Or Even Better, Laugh.

Relationship status   How To Drive All Your Facebook Friends & Twitter Followers Crazy

There’s nothing better than talking openly about a sensitive or private topic. The best way to do this is to ask or talk about it publicly on a friend’s Facebook Wall, your own Facebook Wall or even tweet about it to your followers and to any one that it may be concerning. If you want to create the least dramatic experience in social networks, sharing sensitive topics openly with everyone is an excellent start.

Laughing and joking about these things also does the trick.

Relationship comments   How To Drive All Your Facebook Friends & Twitter Followers Crazy

Conclusion

To recap the things you need to make sure you do in order to ensure complete and utter chaos (in a good way of course) of your online and natural life, remember to talk about yourself constantly, share everything that’s on your mind and never stop to listen to others, invite everyone to events (even if they aren’t real events) share all your online activity with friends on and off line, and never use correct spelling, punctuation or grammar. I promise that if you do these things, the quality of your life will improve, as well as your experience on social networks and throughout the Internet. I encourage you to adopt each one of these into your life. If you chose not to, it’s your loss. But as a result of not doing these things, you’ll have more friends and attract more attention to yourself in a positive manner. Personally, that doesn’t sound very “positive” at all, but the choice is yours.

For more information on annoying your Facebook friends, check out Dave Parrack’s article, 5 Facebook Status Updates Guaranteed To Annoy. His article has helped me grow tremendously in annoying my social media contacts.

Do you have any tips for those striving to annoy their friends online? Do you enjoy doing it yourself? Let us know!

Image Credit: [NO LONGER WORKS] I Hate You Paper Note via Shutterstock

Ads by Google

82 Comments - Write a Comment

Reply

Ashwin Ramesh

I haven’t tried any of those. Maybe I should start bothering people on my friends list :P

Aaron Couch

You should! And you won’t be disappointed. Let me know how it goes!

Reply

Elijah Swartz

You can’t forget those people who post cryptic statuses and when you comment on them they are evasive and don’t tell you any detail. Some even go as far as to literally use some sort of fake language. It’s quite ridiculous. If you don’t want to talk about it, don’t share it publicly.

Aaron Couch

Ah, yes. Dave Parrack, whom I mentioned in the article wrote a post (which I also mentioned in the article) referring to that as “Vaguebooking.”

And you’re exactly right, it’s so fun to have a conversation with someone who does that! Or better, to do it yourself!

Dave Parrack

Ah, vaguebooking, the absolute scourge of Facebook. Just ignore them and they might go away.

Reply

Hoku Sarroca

LOLOLOL Boy there are a few that are on my list that does just those things , I pretty much created a group and put them in there.. so instead of watching tv soaps if I want I can just click on that group and read their min by min drama ..

Aaron Couch

Great idea! Now all you have to do is start doing it yourself ;)

Reply

Va Du

You can always just buy more followers these days. If post interesting enough things you can do what the hell you want really and people will still continue to follow.

Aaron Couch

Va Du,

Explain to me what you mean by “buy more followers.”

I suppose if you are a celebrity, most of these you probably already do anyways…

Va Du

It’s exactly what you think, for real money you can buy followers for any social media site. There are actual sites where the going rate is $0.01 for a person.

Aaron Couch

Although I don’t disagree that it is being done. The people who are truly successful and have awesome interaction with their followers are those who earned every single one.

Just because you have 5,000 followers, doesn’t mean they all care about what you say or even know what you represent. In fact, in my opinion, 1,000 quality followers who choose to interact with you is better than 5,000 who don’t.

Purchasing followers also just doesn’t seem like a wise use of money.

Reply

Elijah Swartz

Like this comment if you don’t like people asking you to like their comments :P

amb_78

dislike!!11 :P

Aaron Couch

Wait… if I DON’T like people asking me to like their comments? I always like those comments… and repost the status for my friends to like it!

They never do though…

Reply

Saurabh Kumar

There are many in my friends who do this and in this way i have also unfriended some of my friends after beinng irritated :)

Aaron Couch

You UNfriended them? How mean :P I would have done the same… er… I DO do the same :D

Saurabh Kumar

it is really very irritating :)

Reply

the boulet

You forgot the ultimate joy: being added to groups on facebook. Say, a video games group, with 10 updates a minute, all going into your notifications.

You didn’t ask for anything but boy are you happy now.

Aaron Couch

Ah yes… groups. You know, I thought about adding that one, and then forgot *guilty face*

Do you know that there is a way to “unsubscribe” from those groups’ notifications? Of course, it’s still quite annoying to be added in the first place, and it would be nice if Facebook allowed its users to confirm the add before just assuming that your friends know what groups you want to be in.

Reply

Roman Vávra

lol, good guide :DD

Aaron Couch

Thanks Roman! I hope you find it useful in having a lonely, unfriended life like I do :D

Reply

aaron sadoff

Why not just unfriend them yourself?

Aaron Couch

I’m not sure what your getting at Aaron. Eventually I usually do unfriend annoying people, but it becomes a little more personal when close friends and family members do such things.

Unfriending on Facebook is actually an insult to most people, despite logic.

aaron sadoff

That is true I just try not to friend family members and keep it simple

George Nixon

No need to unfriend them, just change the amount they appear in your feed to “only important updates” (whatever they are, posts many people respond to perhaps) or hide completely. I can’t do this from the mobile version, so occasionally I have to boot up my laptop to get people to STFU.

Can’t be helped, while you’re still meeting people, you’ll always meet bozos. Beats staying in your room all the time. Then you just end up on Facebook, getting irritated ;)

Aaron Couch

George you’re 100% correct! Thanks for the great comment!

Reply

Richard Borkovec

Another one: either “like” or “share” those stupid photos that say “like for this, share for that.” For me, that’s the hands down worst!

aaron sadoff

So true its like your that starved for attention you have come to this

Richard Borkovec

It’s like Facebook has become what Myspace was, and now Myspace has become what Facebook was. You just can’t win haha

aaron sadoff

Exactly I had hoped I could get away with google plus but no uses it.

Aaron Couch

Richard you’re right on with this one! Kind of similar to what Elijah said a little earlier.

Richard Borkovec

His comment actually triggered that thought for me, lol

Walfred Michele

Oh I know!!!!I’ve seen a huge uptick in this, Richard. Usually some photo of a courageous victim that’s been lifted off someone’s personal site and you are guilted into liking their courage even though their photo or their illness or their predicament is tragic. I wonder how they feel about going viral?

And of course there’s the omnipresent “Like this post if you love [enter name of popular religious figure here]. Don’t like it and we know you are a heathen!

What about posting trivia pictures to get likes. “Like if you remember “Drive-in movie speakers” “Duck and Cover school photos” or “Under the dash 8-track car radios” At fIrst they were kinda cool and fun, but now they are so dreadfully predictable and annoying! Like this if you agree!

Aaron Couch

You’re exactly right Richard. It really gets old.

Reply

Fayz

Bwahahahah! XD An epic read! Thanks for the article! XD

Aaron Couch

Thanks Fayz! Glad you liked it!

Reply

Dee Wheat

OK, but how do you avoid driving yourself crazy in the process?

Aaron Couch

Dee,

That to me is unknown. I really don’t know how to prevent that. Maybe that’ll be an idea for a future article ;)

Reply

Bruce Thomas

Funny article and so true. Was it part of the fun to use “your” when the correct grammar is “you’re?” Just saying.

Aaron Couch

Haha… oops. Looks like I got in the groove of typing it one way in that sentence and then over looked that through the strenuous editing process.

Thanks for pointing that out. I shall talk to the editors about fixing it.

Glad you liked the article!

Reply

lance burn

I dont have any a would never join facebook there seems like a lot of trouble on it

Aaron Couch

Facebook definitely has a lot of advantages as well. These are just some things that typically bother people.

If you’re looking for a good social network though, Google+ seems to be making way quite well. Maybe give that a try.

Reply

tarzan2001

“Discuss or inquire about private situations” …. haha, priceless! :D

Aaron Couch

Glad you liked it! If you do that, let me know how it goes for you! :P

Reply

Starpratama ID-Nurse

cool tips

Aaron Couch

Thanks for reading! Glad it helped!

Reply

Gowtham Gutha

A good tip. But in Twitter i get followers who are not good. They follow me but still, their tweets are abusive, they link to malware/fraud sites. Should I have to block them or just keep for a good number?

Aaron Couch

Definitely block them. Just like in real life, would you rather have a few quality friends or a bunch of friends that aren’t anything special? For some reason, people thing the amount of people following them is some sort of status symbol. It’s not. How much you INTERACT with your followers (and they with you) is a much more accurate indication of your online presence.

Hope this helps. Thanks for reading!

Reply

App Crush

awesome!

Aaron Couch

Thanks for reading!

Reply

James Lewis

and then i share this article to my friends… IN YOUR FACE!!! LOL!!

Aaron Couch

Haha that’s right! It was really in my friends’ face that I wrote it… and shared it :P

Thanks for reading and sharing AND commenting. Definitely appreciate it.

Reply

SKK

Yes misspelling and shorten words really works for me…

Aaron Couch

That’s great! Me too! :P Thanks for reading.

Reply

Petey Pabler

You forgot to add the EVER so popular “Aaron added 46 New Photos of his baby eating carrots” type stuff. Drives me nuts and you are off my newsfeed in a heartbeat. Haters gonna hate though…True article and I like the sarcasm

Aaron Couch

Thanks Petey! I appreciate your support… and humor! That certainly is true. Know what really gets me though… more than baby pictures?

Bare. Pregnant. Bellies.

Why?

Show those to your mother-in-law. Not the world. Please… for man-kind’s sake.

Reply

Adjei Kofi

I guess I could use this to “reduce” the number of facebook friends I have. :)

Aaron Couch

You definitely could! Maybe the ones that are annoying would unfriend you… then you’d really find out who your (Facebook) friends are :P

Thanks for reading!

Reply

Henree Arriola de Garcia

Maybe this will push people to Google+

Aaron Couch

Sure hope so! As much as Facebook is an excellent tool, G+ has so much more going for it… except for the “majority vote,” which is really the only thing that matters.

Thanks for reading Henree! I appreciate your support.

Reply

Cathy Horner

Share a gazillion youtube videos of bad music :)

Aaron Couch

YES! Do it. Now.

Haha Thanks for reading Cathy! Love the humor.

Reply

Shmuel Mendelsohn

I know! I’ll try to sell everyone on my friends list life insurance! Although, your list is hard to beat!

There’s just one thing that I don’t get. Why bother belonging to a “social network” if your goal is to be ant-social?

Aaron Couch

That’s very true as well! I never thought about selling everyone a product!

As far as belonging to one and being antisocial, I don’t know why really. I suppose some people feel the pressure to “belong” or go with what’s popular, but never try to use it to their advantage? I’m not sure.

Reply

Scutterman

I tried to loose followers by using Facebook like a bookmarking service, sharing interesting articles from places like MUO and MUO/Tech Fun/
I seem to be doing something wrong, however, as this just seems to increase interaction and quality comments.

From my experimentation, posting about Legos is even worse for this, and generally sparks long conversations which require input.

Aaron Couch

Haha that’s great! Love it!

Thanks for reading Scutterman.

P.S. Legos rock.

Reply

Daryl

I had a few issues with people positing every little thing they do on FB. I changed my profile settings so I don’t get their news feed.

For twitter…I just stopped following them.

Aaron Couch

Daryl,

You’re a smart man. That’s all you have to do. And the great thing is, they’ll never know.

Even with Twitter, unless they use a third-party extension to find out who they’re following but isn’t following them.

But even then, it’s much less personal and easier to unfollow someone on Twitter than on Facebook. For some reason, if you unfriend someone on Facebook, “you’re unfriending them for life.”

Thanks for reading and sharing your thoughts Daryl! Great advice to other readers.

Reply

Edward Bellair

Funny stuff but how a lot of people post already. Can’t spell, no punctuation and let you know if they pet the wetty.

Aaron Couch

Haha yep you’re right Edward.

Thanks for reading and commenting!

Reply

Daniel Voyles

Oh, I LOVE when friends are on facebook all day playing games and sending you requests to join them. Makes me feel included. Also, you can’t forget facebook apps.

Aaron Couch

Yes! I love the numerous notifications. It’s especially awesome when a friend is peering over my shoulder and they see that I have 27 notifications and then I open them and they’re all game invites… they quietly say “Oh. I’m so sorry.”

Thanks for reading Daniel! Appreciate your support.

Reply

Seishun Kyosoukyoku

Thanks for the article! XD

Aaron Couch

Thank you! And thanks for reading!

Reply

sonnylim

These are the inevitable hassles we get in social medial. We all got to learn the “social etiquette” of its use. Just like how we learn when any new forms of communication or interactive channel gets introduced.

Aaron Couch

Yep your right. I’m not sure if it was detected, but within the article I was not only making fun of others, but myself included, as I’ve been guilty of many of those things.

Live and learn as they say.

Thanks for reading and commenting.

Reply

Asriel Allolinggi

Nice trick..:-)

Aaron Couch

Thanks Asriel!

Reply

Edmar Diego

this shall spawn a new troll army that will derp anyone on sight. beware internet

Reply

Nate

Here are some more :
Adding random cusswords into EVERY post.
Sending meany game requests.
Post pictures of random thins. (especialy cats)
TYPEING IN ALL CAPS. Or More anoying
TypEinG iN rAndOm cApS.

-thanks

Reply

Douglas Mutay

I did had a friend on fb who was actually driving me crazy by sharing each an everything possible when he bought his Blackberry. I had to unfriend him…for a couple of time then he resent a friend request. After that he started to tag me on every picture he was taking with his phone. Finally I had to left myself FB. Since a few weeks I have just closed my fb…

Reply

Muteteli Harvey

YOU FORGOT STALKING AND USIN ALL KAPS le sigh!!!

Your comment