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You’re pitching the business case for your great money-making-and-saving idea. All the C-Level types are there. Then all of a sudden, you and everyone else can hear the strains of Michael Jackson’s Billie Jean. You didn’t turn the phone off before the meeting.

Who knew that your career would end to the song you moonwalked to at your junior high dance?

How about getting a ringtone that actually sounds like a real phone? Remember those Bakelite behemoth’s that used to hang on the kitchen wall or the rotary that sat in your dad’s den? Ahh, those were the good old days – when the Weather Channel was known as a window and a leaf blower was known as a rake.

With a good, “real phone” ringtone, you’ll probably find that you don’t get as many strange looks when that electronic ball and chain goes off in public. People are still used to the ordinary phone ring and find it less offensive than hearing about your humps, your humps, your lovely lady humps.

Here’s some of the best free, “real phone” ringtones I could find online. Most of them were found through forums where people said they made the recordings themselves. I presume since they put them on the forums, they are free and royalty free.

Universal Phone Ring

This one should sound familiar to almost everyone as it is the phone ring used most often in old movies and TV shows. Thanks to Hollywood Lost and Found for this one.

Black Rotary Phone Ring

Sounds just like the one that your dad might have had in his office, doesn’t it? Those were the days.

Candlestick Phone Ring

Ever seen those old phones where the earpiece hung on the main phone that looked like a candlestick? This is the ring from one of those.

French Rotary Phone

Looking for that certain je ne sais quoi? This one is the ticket. C’est bon!

Classic British Phone

I like the distinctive double-ring of the UK phones. Reminds me of old episodes of Coronation Street.

Higher Tone UK Phone

Here’s the same kind of UK ring, but with a little higher pitch.

Now for some famous classic phone rings…

Maxwell Smart’s Shoe Phone Tone

This is the ring that Agent 86’s shoe phone made.  Yes, there was a TV show of Get Smart before the not-so-good movie.

Our Man Flint/Austin Powers Phone Ring

This one is my favourite! It seems not many people under 40 know that the phone ring from Austin Powers was taken from the Our Man Flint movie, starring James Coburn. It was also a sort of spy-spoof movie.

Counter Terrorist Unit on 24 Phone Ring

Apparently this is the ring tone from Jack Bauer’s CTU unit on 24. Honestly, I’ve never made it through a full episode of this show, but the ringtone is pretty cool.

If what we have here doesn’t fill your boots, there is one other really good source for classic real phone ringtones that I found over at BeepZoid’s Vintage Phone Ringtones. With over 60 different ringtones in MIDI, MP3 and iPhone formats, there’s a good chance you’ll find what your looking for.

What do you think of “real phone” ringtones versus all the clips and top 40 stuff out there? Got a favourite ringtone to share with us? Drop us a line in the comments below. I’ll have my people call your people.

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