The Web is a weird and wonderful place full of content that it is far too easy to miss thanks to the size and scale of the Internetz. This column has one simple aim: to collect the best weird and wonderful content that appears on the Web and fit it all on one page for your delectation.
In this edition of Weird & Wonderful Web, Steve Ballmer gets tearful and shouty, a Chinese guy discovers no nose is good nose, Mario gets lectured in a song, the British Isles get Minecrafted, your color IQ gets tested, Kimmel and Kanye bitch slap each other, GTA V gets reviewed by a girl in pain, a website will predict the film you’re thinking of, and there’s an important PSA about clearing your cookies.
Ballmer Goes Bye Bye
As you may have already heard, Steve Ballmer is retiring as the CEO of Microsoft within the next 12 months. Stop cheering at the back, it’s disrespectful to the guy who once bounded around on stage with sweat seeping out of every pore.
Ballmer recently bid a fond farewell to the Microsoft faithfuls, and The Verge obtained exclusive video of him blubbing as he departed the stage to the tune of (I’ve Had) The Time Of My Life from Dirty Dancing. It’s almost enough to make you well up. Or vomit, depending on your nature.
No Nose Is Good Nose
A Chinese man who suffered facial injuries in an auto accident has had a new nose grown on his forehead. It has taken around nine months for the surgeons to build the nose using skin and cartilage, but it’s thought it will function normally as part of his respiratory system once attached. Until then he’ll have to make do with being an Internet sensation.
Hey Mario [Video]
Mario, he of the “Super” assignation, is quite a guy. He’s been around a lot longer than most other video game characters, and his popularity shows no signs of waning. Unfortunately, he has one major problem… that stupid princess who keeps getting abducted. It’s time for a singing intervention in the style of One Direction.
UK Gets Minecraft Makeover
Ordnance Survey, the normally staid organization responsible for mapping the United Kingdom down to the nearest inch, decided that the real world was far too rounded and undulating for its liking. So, using OS OpenData, they created a Minecraft version of the UK. Why? Well, why not?
Color IQ Test
Color blindness is a more common medical condition than many people realize, with one in 12 men and one in 255 women suffering from the condition to some degree. It’s very difficult to know whether you’re one of those people affected or not, but the Color IQ test from a company called X-Rite should help you figure it out. The lower the score the better, and I personally scored a 12/100. Go, me!
GTA V Hot Pepper Game Review [Video]
GTA V has been out a couple of weeks now and currently has a 98 percent rating on Metacritic. That’s impressive, even when measured against other Rockstar Games classics. You may have watched a few video reviews of the game by now, but you probably haven’t seen the one by a girl who just ate a whole Scotch Bonnet pepper. It makes for painful viewing.
Filmillion Will Guess The Movie
20 Questions has been played for decades and commercialized into a website and handheld electronic game. And here is its movie-guessing brethren, Filmillion. You think of a movie, and Filmillion will ask you up to 30 Yes/No questions before guessing which film you’re thinking of. It’s not perfect, but it’s a good way to waste time online when you’re bored.
Kimmel Vs Kanye
Between the two of them Kanye West and Jimmy Kimmel have provided the Web with a veritable treasure trove of good stuff recently. Kanye kicked things off by giving an interview to BBC Radio 1 in which he was at his arrogant, overblown best. Kimmel then mocked that interview by using children as stand-ins, and the whole thing escalated quickly.
Kanye then took to Twitter to aim a volley of vitriolic abuse in the direction of Jimmy Kimmel. It ended with Kanye posting a picture of Kimmel as Spongebob Squarepants, which means the raucous rapper took time out of his day to Google said image and then Photoshop it for his own amusement. Which is hilarious behaviour from “the number one rock star on the planet.“
Kanye has since deleted all of the tweets ranting and raving at Kimmel, but they can all be seen on Know Your Meme. Kanye actually only has 33 tweets remaining on his Twitter feed at the time of writing despite being on the social networking site since 2010. #NothingGetsDeletedForeverKanye
Key & Peele: Clear Cookies [Video]
It may surprise you to learn that there is porn on the Internetz. I know, it’s shocking. Even more shocking is the revelation that most men (and some women) view porn from time to time. When they’re bored, lonely, or have a spare five minutes. It’s not a problem though, as long as you remember to clear your cookies and wipe your Internet history. Or is it?
This column is designed to entertain, so if you feel it has achieved that goal be sure to let us know in the comments section below. If, on the other hand, it completely failed to make the corners of your mouth turn upwards even ever so slightly then be sure to inform us of that instead. And then watch us silently weep as we read the hurtful comments.