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one-line jokesWhether you’re a nerd, a geek, a programmer, or just a regular person interested in technology, you should enjoy some serious humor, otherwise this world is very sad.

With this article you can also do something for your abs and burn off the excess Christmas treats. Start the New Year with a broad grin and lots of laughter. It’s healthy and contagious. Infect yourself with 50 hilarious geeky one-line jokes.

Logical

  • There are only 10 types of people in the world: those that understand binary and those that don’t.
  • Computers make very fast, very accurate mistakes.
  • Be nice to the nerds, for all you know they might be the next Bill Gates!
  • Artificial intelligence usually beats real stupidity.
  • To err is human – and to blame it on a computer is even more so.
  • CAPS LOCK – Preventing Login Since 1980.

Get the CAPS LOCK joke on a T-Shirt (as Baby Tee) from the MakeUseOf T-Shirt store.

funny one line jokes

Browsing

  • The truth is out there. Anybody got the URL?
  • The Internet: where men are men, women are men, and children are FBI agents.
  • Some things Man was never meant to know. For everything else, there’s Google.

Operating Systems

  • The box said ‘Requires Windows Vista or better’. So I installed LINUX.
  • UNIX is basically a simple operating system, but you have to be a genius to understand the simplicity.
  • In a world without fences and walls, who needs Gates and Windows?
  • C://dos
    C://dos.run
    run.dos.run
  • Bugs come in through open Windows.
  • Penguins love cold, they wont survive the sun.
  • Unix is user friendly. It’s just selective about who its friends are.
  • Failure is not an option. It comes bundled with your Microsoft product.
  • NT is the only OS that has caused me to beat a piece of hardware to death with my bare hands.
  • My daily Unix command list: unzip; strip; touch; finger; mount; fsck; more; yes; unmount; sleep.
  • Microsoft: “You’ve got questions. We’ve got dancing paperclips.”
  • Erik Naggum: “Microsoft is not the answer. Microsoft is the question. NO is the answer.”
  • Windows isn’t a virus, viruses do something.
  • Computers are like air conditioners: they stop working when you open Windows.
  • Mac users swear by their Mac, PC users swear at their PC.

one line jokes

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Programming

  • If at first you don’t succeed; call it version 1.0.
  • My software never has bugs. It just develops random features.
  • I would love to change the world, but they won’t give me the source code.
  • The code that is the hardest to debug is the code that you know cannot possibly be wrong.
  • Beware of programmers that carry screwdrivers.
  • Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning.
  • The beginning of the programmer’s wisdom is understanding the difference between getting program to run and having a runnable program.
  • I’m not anti-social; I’m just not user friendly.
  • Hey! It compiles! Ship it!
  • If Ruby is not and Perl is the answer, you don’t understand the question.
  • The more I C, the less I see.
  • COBOL programmers understand why women hate periods.
  • Michael Sinz: “Programming is like sex, one mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.”
  • If you give someone a program, you will frustrate them for a day; if you teach them how to program, you will frustrate them for a lifetime.
  • Programmers are tools for converting caffeine into code.
  • My attitude isn’t bad. It’s in beta.

Get the Beta joke on a T-Shirt from the MakeUseOf T-Shirt store.

one line jokes

Ad Absurdum

  • Enter any 11-digit prime number to continue.
  • E-mail returned to sender, insufficient voltage.
  • All wiyht. Rho sritched mg kegtops awound?
  • Black holes are where God divided by zero.
  • If I wanted a warm fuzzy feeling, I’d antialias my graphics!
  • If brute force doesn’t solve your problems, then you aren’t using enough.
  • SUPERCOMPUTER: what it sounded like before you bought it.
  • Evolution is God’s way of issuing upgrades.
  • Linus Torvalds: “Real men don’t use backups, they post their stuff on a public ftp server and let the rest of the world make copies.”
  • Hacking is like sex. You get in, you get out, and hope that you didn’t leave something that can be traced back to you.

Calculations

  • There are three kinds of people: those who can count and those who can’t.
  • Latest survey shows that 3 out of 4 people make up 75% of the world’s population.
  • Hand over the calculator, friends don’t let friends derive drunk.
  • An infinite crowd of mathematicians enters a bar. The first one orders a pint, the second one a half pint, the third one a quarter pint… “I understand”, says the bartender – and pours two pints.
  • 1f u c4n r34d th1s u r34lly n33d t0 g37 l41d.

Does your belly hurt, yet? MakeUseOf has more funny resources:

What is your favorite geek one-line joke?

Image credits: NinaMalyna, nex999

  1. cpmeyer
    February 12, 2016 at 3:13 am

    If u are cold go to a corner, they are usually 90 degrees.
    Do not trust atoms they make up everything.

  2. James 'Nev' Nevins
    June 12, 2015 at 1:33 pm

    10 base number system

  3. Joemackey26
    March 2, 2011 at 6:08 am
  4. Joemackey26
    March 2, 2011 at 7:08 am
  5. schooly
    January 12, 2011 at 4:45 am

    Stilldas, how does your edit of "there are only 10 kinds of people..." make sense? The number "10" in binary is "2" in decimal and the number "11" in binary is "3". In what way is the first one incorrect?

  6. Tina
    January 10, 2011 at 7:09 pm

    No. The 'three kinds of people' joke is different than the '10 types of people' joke.

    The former ridicules the joke teller, as he can obviously not count himself. It's a silly joke with no intellectual value.

    The latter ridicules people who think of the number ten when they see 10, rather than thinking of '1 and 0' or 'on and off', i.e. binary. Or in other words, get it or not get it.

    Hope it makes sense now.

  7. Stilldas
    January 10, 2011 at 7:00 am

    "There are three kinds of people: those who can count and those who can’t." is one of your comments which makes your first one incorrect. It should read "There are only 11 types of people in the world: those that understand binary and those that don’t."

    • Tina
      January 10, 2011 at 6:09 pm

      No. The 'three kinds of people' joke is different than the '10 types of people' joke.

      The former ridicules the joke teller, as he can obviously not count himself. It's a silly joke with no intellectual value.

      The latter ridicules people who think of the number ten when they see 10, rather than thinking of '1 and 0' or 'on and off', i.e. binary. Or in other words, get it or not get it.

      Hope it makes sense now.

    • Askher35
      February 22, 2011 at 5:07 pm

      You're wrong Stilldas......learn binary

  8. Stilldas
    January 10, 2011 at 8:00 am

    "There are three kinds of people: those who can count and those who can’t." is one of your comments which makes your first one incorrect. It should read "There are only 11 types of people in the world: those that understand binary and those that don’t."

  9. Van
    January 8, 2011 at 12:20 pm

    This is the one that really got me going at 6 am this morning "Michael Sinz: “Programming is like sex, one mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life"

  10. Ann Chab
    January 8, 2011 at 9:14 am

    "Be nice to the nerds, for all you know they might be the next Bill Gates!"

    "Computers are like air conditioners: they stop working when you open Windows."

    "Mac users swear by their Mac, PC users swear at their PC."

    definitely the best lines! and oh-so-true :DD

  11. Bronzit
    January 8, 2011 at 9:14 am

    Where is the "Like" for those of us who don't want to do "FaceBook"???

    • Aibek
      January 9, 2011 at 10:28 am

      check the 'Sharethis' option below the post

  12. Ann Chab
    January 8, 2011 at 10:14 am

    "Be nice to the nerds, for all you know they might be the next Bill Gates!"

    "Computers are like air conditioners: they stop working when you open Windows."

    "Mac users swear by their Mac, PC users swear at their PC."

    definitely the best lines! and oh-so-true :DD

  13. Aibek
    January 6, 2011 at 6:42 am

    :-)

    On 1/6/2011 8:14 AM, Disqus wrote

  14. TechJuck
    January 6, 2011 at 2:13 am

    Th05e Wh0 Und3r5700d 7he j0k35, u r34lly n33d t0 g37 l41d

    • Aibek
      January 6, 2011 at 5:42 am

      :-)

      On 1/6/2011 8:14 AM, Disqus wrote

    • Aibek
      January 6, 2011 at 8:28 pm

      I understood and got laid yesterday!

    • Tina
      January 6, 2011 at 11:18 pm

      Too much information!!! LOL

    • Aibek
      January 9, 2011 at 8:11 am

      :-) just wanted to prove him wrong

  15. Mohammad Elsheimy
    January 5, 2011 at 4:37 pm

    looooooooool so funny :P
    and the old one:
    Why do programmers confuse Christmas with Halloween? Because Dec 25 = Oct 31 :P

    • Aibek
      January 6, 2011 at 8:27 pm

      good one

    • Smltrkh
      March 24, 2011 at 1:51 pm

      not on
      dozen and dozen

    • Tina
      January 6, 2011 at 11:19 pm

      Almost included that one. :)

  16. Mohammad Elsheimy
    January 5, 2011 at 5:37 pm

    looooooooool so funny :P
    and the old one:
    Why do programmers confuse Christmas with Halloween? Because Dec 25 = Oct 31 :P

  17. home jobs
    January 5, 2011 at 6:45 am

    Its all about to fun with jokes.

  18. B Sdf
    January 5, 2011 at 1:49 am

    Wonderful.

    Share a website with you ,

    put this url in google sirch

    ( .aamall.us )

    Believe you will love it.

    We accept any form of payment

  19. Dave
    January 5, 2011 at 12:23 am

    "I would love to change the world, but they won’t give me the source code". That is funny!

  20. Dave
    January 5, 2011 at 1:23 am

    "I would love to change the world, but they won’t give me the source code". That is funny!

  21. Doug
    January 4, 2011 at 6:46 pm

    I made a shirt with a variant on the "only 10 type of people in the world".
    http://www.zazzle.com/binary_a...

  22. CrazyIcon.com
    January 4, 2011 at 4:37 pm

    great!

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