I don’t have any love for Apple. I don’t have any hate either. In fact, I find it odd that anyone would express such strong emotions, whether positive or negative, for a technology company. Or any company for that matter, whatever business it happens to be in. This means that while I don’t hate Apple, I can’t abide Apple fanboys.
Thankfully I’m not alone. Although Apple would like to think (and would like us to think) everyone and their mothers love the company and its products, fanboys are still a minority. Which means the rest of us, those I generally like to refer to as the sane ones, can laugh at Apple and its legion of cultish zealots. And some, if they’re that way inclined, can even make videos aimed in the direction of the aforementioned.
Mom has replaced Apple and the eyePhone has replaced the iPhone in this clip from Futurama. But then this is an animated series set in the 31st-century, so who knows whether this will be reality or not by then. Regardless, the mocking of Apple is in plain view for all to see.
We have the distant and smug Apple Store employee, the supply and demand issues that are always well-engineered (although robots have now taken the place of poor Chinese production line workers), the extortionate price being charged despite the issues, and the fanboy demanding he be “allowed” to purchase one.
There are also references to the wider evils of smartphones – getting distracted while walking along, stalking people online, and losing touch of real social interactions. And all in the space of under a minute.
I Hate The Smugness Of Apple
Baratunde Thurston is a comedian who likes Apple and uses their products. But he cannot stand the smugness the company exudes or the absolute religious fervor displayed by the most-venomous Apple fanboys. So when he has trouble installing something on his Mac he lets rip in a blog post. This shows him recounting the ensuing fallout from the blog post in a multimedia performance to an audience.
Baratunde has another video on YouTube showing him walking out of an Apple Store holding up his backpack pretending to have just bought an iPad. The Apple Store employees applaud him like a herd of performing sea lions. The poor saps.
Jason Calacanis On Apple Fanboys
Jason Calacanis is a well-known blogger and Internet entrepreneur responsible for Weblogs, Inc. and Mahalo. But he’s also prone to foul-mouthed rants against certain sections of the tech community. On this occasion Apple fanboys get it, and get it good. Not so much an anti-Apple rant but an anti-Apple fanboy rant. Which suits me even better.
I’d love to hear some responses to his arguments in this video, the main thrust of which is him taking the side of the open platform, the open Internet, and people being able to do what they want with products they’ve spent a small fortune purchasing.
The point about the infamous 1984 Super Bowl ad and how Apple has now become the Big Brother figure it once railed against is one that I have been making for years. If Apple fanboys were to think about this logically for just a moment they would realize the truth of the assertion.
Charlie Brooker On Apple iPad
If you want to drink the Apple Kool-Aid then feel free. Sit around watching each new slightly-better-than-the-last product launch like a fanboy full of glee. And then head down to your nearest Apple Store two months later and hand over money you can barely afford to part with for the aforementioned emperor’s new clothes. The rest of us will laugh along with Charlie Brooker.
Charlie Brooker has probably bought an iPad since recording this. He’s a media type, and it’s expected of him. But that doesn’t lessen the comic genius he uses to rip apart Apple, its legion of dedicated fanboys, and the presentation style of its dear-departed leader Steve Jobs.
Apple Sucks [NSFW]
There’s no foul-mouthed rant here, or intelligent look at the mindset of an Apple fanboy on the cusp of creaming over his latest purchase. This is just a downright mocking of an Apple convert waxing lyrical on the blue screen of death. And it’s absolutely hilarious thanks to the prompt screens and their running commentary of what this guy really means when he opens his mouth.
This video cuts through all the Apple baloney which insists Macs are superior in every way, shape, and form to Windows-based PCs. They never crash, they never get malware, they’re perfect in every way. Apparently. No, no, and thrice no. They’re good, but they’re far from perfect. Otherwise the Genius Bar would be completely unnecessary.
There will be two distinct reactions to these videos: laughing at Apple getting taken down a peg or two or sitting there scowling with unappeased rage at the ignorance of these non-believers. I’m in the former camp, but I suspect many of you reading this won’t be. You laughed at at least one of them though, didn’t you. No? That means you must be a fanboy. Just admit it, you know you want to come out.
This is just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to anti-Apple videos on the Web. And I’d like to watch more. So feel free to let us know in the comments of any others you have seen and loved. Parodies of Apple commercials are another genre altogether, so look out for a list of the best of those coming to a MakeUseOf near you soon. Though there is only one.
Image Credit: Ed Yourdon