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0 fbintroWhat I have to tell you could very well change your life. Was that too dramatic? Sorry about that. Anyway, you’re probably here because you want advice on how to ask your dream girl out. Well, I believe I have some tips that can help you out. Now I’m no Erik von Markovik, but maybe I can give you a few creative ideas. As they say, there are plenty of fish in the sea. In this case, for all intents and purposes, Facebook is our sea.

That’s right, Facebook. We’re on it every day anyway. Social networking has changed the way we do everything 10 Specialized Social Networks For You To Join 10 Specialized Social Networks For You To Join Read More , so why wouldn’t it change how we pursue the opposite sex? Why not do things where we’re most comfortable?


Let’s face it; if you are reading this there is a decent chance you are a geek. Now that isn’t a bad thing by any means, but what it also signifies is that if you are a guy geek, then statistically you are probably not so smooth with the ladies (stereotypically). That’s okay, because geeky men are good at analytical thinking, in fact, so much so that we have broken down the art of “˜picking up women’ into an exact science”¦but that’s another matter entirely.

In this article, I’m going to offer up a few creative ideas for how to ask a girl out on Facebook, along with some general rules of thumb and occasionally a few satirical remarks (bare with me). I am going to do this very carefully as I do not want to be known as the “stalkerbook guy”.

How to Ask a Girl Out on Facebook – Introducing Yourself

Let’s start simple””introductions. You ask, “How should I introduce myself to this girl?” and like most good advice, the answer is, “That depends.” Depending on whether or not you already know the person there are different ways to approach this.

If you are already “˜Facebook friends’ with this person then you are off to a good start. We’ll come back to you.

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how to ask a girl out on facebook

If you are not Facebook friends with this person, then do you at least have any mutual friends? Or is it just somebody you’ve never met but are attracted to?

In either case the first step is for you to “˜friend’ them. 99% of the time people will accept your friend request. If they don’t, there is probably an underlying reason why they didn’t and maybe you should just move on.

how to ask a girl out on facebook

Once accepted, there is a small chance you will get a message asking something along the lines of “I don’t mean to be rude, but do I know you?” This is okay, just be honest.

If you have mutual friends just explain to her that you know [insert name(s)] and wanted to get to know her as well. If there are no mutual friends just tell her that you saw her picture, liked what you saw, and that you thought she would be a nice person to get to know.

Breaking the Ice

Whether or not you followed the above advice and “friended” her, the next step is to strike up a conversation. You want to get to know the girl at least a little bit before asking her out. Remember, we’re on Facebook. You are more of a stranger than if you were doing this in person. Here’s where we start to get creative.

Using Facebook chat, send the girl an “accidental” message. Sure, you could just say “Hi”, but where’s the fun in that? Besides, you risk looking like a stalker if you do it that way. She will be wondering why a person she doesn’t know wants to talk to her. You’ll have no chance.

how to ask a girl out on facebook

Anyway, to make it look authentic just type a random character like “L” or “o”. Then, after a second or two, type “oops, sorry about that.” She will respond with something along the lines of “that’s okay”. Congratulations boys, you’re in.

Feel free to be creative here. I would follow up with a question: “Do I know you?” or “How are you?” Ask anything, just get her to answer. If you followed step one you should already be past this point.

Note: As you gals reading this may know (I realize there are a few of you), men are generally maniacal (pun intended). This means that while sometimes we come off as genuinely accidental, we are devious enough to have devised clever ways to talk to you. It’s the way we are, sorry.

Keep the Conversation Going

After getting past the awkward “˜who are you’ phase, start talking to her about her hobbies, interests, work status, relationship status, etc. Can’t think of anything else to talk about? Aw, if only you were on Facebook. Oh yeah, you are on Facebook. Study up!

how to ask a girl out on facebook

On the Info page of her profile, you’ll find her activities, interests, favorite music, TV shows, books, movies, where she’s from, what groups shes’s in, etc.””tons of chances for you to have something in common or that you can talk about.

There is no reason you can’t use the information in her profile to keep the conversation going. After all, she scoped out your profile the second you started talking to her.

how to ask out a girl

Note: Girls, grab control of your Facebook privacy! If you make it so your personal information can only be viewed by your Facebook friends, you can control who sees your information by whose friend requests you approve. Mahendra has 8 steps for you to follow here 8 Steps To Regain Control Of Your Facebook Privacy 8 Steps To Regain Control Of Your Facebook Privacy Read More , and 8 MORE steps here 8 MORE Steps To Regain Control Of Your Facebook Privacy 8 MORE Steps To Regain Control Of Your Facebook Privacy Read More .

Rinse & Repeat

If she’s really cool and you end up having a long conversation with her, feel free to ask her out. Say, “Hey we should meet up some time” or “What are you doing this weekend? Wanna hang out?”

If she says “No” (she won’t, an excuse is more likely) don’t sound too dejected. Just follow up with “No problem! Maybe another time.”

If you aren’t “feeling it” don’t worry. Just tell her you’ll talk to her later and make an attempt to talk to her again some time. Really try to get to know her before you ask a girl out.

Allow Me to Explain

Upon reading this article, you may have thought to yourself, “Where’s the romance 7 Great Sites To Get Free Romance eBooks For The Hopeless Romantic 7 Great Sites To Get Free Romance eBooks For The Hopeless Romantic Read More ?” Truth be told, that doesn’t work all that well in this situation. Sure, I could have suggested you send her an electronic Facebook gift or leave nice comments on her Wall (feel free to try), but let’s get practical here.

Those types of actions are best suited for those who are already dating. Doing romantic things for someone you barely know, in my opinion, makes you look weak and it opens the door for rejection (unless she thinks you’re cute, in which case you’re fine).

All girls love a good Cinderella story guys, but they also know a fairy tale when they see one. It’s best to just talk to her and build some chemistry. The goal here is a high conversion rate, right?

how to ask out a girl

I hope you’ll appreciate how difficult an article like this was to write. Although social networking is being widely accepted and growing rapidly, there are few rules (except the obvious ones) of how we should engage one another in these spaces. Follow your instincts and use all the Facebook tools at your disposal. Good luck!

Leave your thoughts, ideas, and comments below, and please be gentle. Like I said before, I’m no expert.

  1. Person
    May 19, 2016 at 2:01 am

    There is this girl that I went to school with, and we are next door neighbors, but we never talk. How, or even should I, go about asking her out?

    • Toby
      November 5, 2016 at 2:02 am

      "Hey i noticed you go to my school and we should meet up sometime wadya say :)"

  2. a person
    January 28, 2016 at 12:05 pm

    I know a girl from my old school, she was in a relationship when I finished, so I never got to ask her out, I don't have her number, but we're friends on Facebook, how do I ask her out?

    • M. Ross
      March 9, 2016 at 9:37 am

      Just tell her what you wrote here, tell her that you have been longing to ask her out since ______, but as she had someone in her life, you thought it would be rude and a waste. But after all this time since shez still in your mind, considering the fact that life is basically too short to miss out on chances and not to express affection and liking towards someone special we met and found fascinating, you have decided to officially ask her out.

      Be passionate and bold about it, without being cheap and creepy. Take a chance.

      Best of luck.

  3. Julius Sessler
    October 29, 2015 at 12:53 am

    How do you approach a girl you already know, but that you havent talked to in a while. How do you start a conversation/break the ice.

    Great Post

  4. Rice
    March 14, 2015 at 10:31 pm

    My favorite line on facebook has always been: "Hey, can I have your number so I can call you and ask you on a date?"

    • A person
      January 28, 2016 at 12:11 pm

      That'll never work, I read a thing (I admit I've never tried it, I READ it, I don't know how well it works, write something like, I'm *write name here* call me *write phone number here*. Inconspicious, innocent and gives little chance of rejecting, act it out well, they may not even realise you are acting. How to give it to her? walk up to her and say, "Here, I think you dropped this." then leave, don't look out for reaction, just leave and hope she may text you.

  5. Kev
    January 20, 2015 at 2:23 am

    What does it mean, if say, you do add a girl you don't know (but have mutual friends, interests, etc.) and she accepts your request. Then you start to notice that she's "Like"ing your photos and status updates. I know this wouldn't mean much when actual friends "Like" everything on your Facebook. Does it mean she's somewhat interested even though she only knows what's on my page?

  6. Wes
    January 6, 2015 at 7:38 am

    I have a question. I was at a bar the other night and these cute girls say next to me. After a while, we started to shoot the s*it with each other. Come to find out, the one girl is related to a friend of mine that I work with. She was sitting two stools down from me while her girlfriend was in between us. We had good convo's and everything was good. I noticed that her friend and i had some good connection/chemistry from my point of view. They got done their last drink and said they have to get going. As I was shaking her hand, the one sitting next to me, I was going to ask for her number, but I didn't bc I didn't want my friends relative to be offended or fact of rushing it too soon. I figured maybe I'll seeng them again. Now was I ok in doing that as far my thoughts and instincts are concerned? Or would it be ok to ask Teresa, my buddy's cousin, about her friend Leah on Facebook? I didn't want to do anything bc I didn't want to ruin my chances. Any help would be great. Good job on the written article as well.

    Sincerely,
    Wes

    • Phil Dow Poteat
      June 5, 2015 at 3:05 pm

      Kev, that's clearly a good sign. Don't think to much into it but if you're attracted to her I would take her interest in you as legit. It's time for you to make a move.

  7. Anonymous
    December 19, 2014 at 4:15 pm

    What if you know the girl from school or clubs and you are good friends, but know you are out of her league, what do you do then?

    • A person
      January 28, 2016 at 12:25 pm

      They say friendzone is a bad thing, knowing a few thing can make an excellent first date. If you know she's one of those girls that'll embarrass you with it, don't bother, I'm sorry but don't but if she's like this girl I like, the one that is nice, quiet, sincere kind and never sarcastic type will appreciate you admitting your feelings for her, they are often big hearted and will probably give you a chance. Oh, and they often are shy, go somewhere quiet or where nobody will hear you talking. Remember: The sarcastic, extremely outgoing types tend to be narcissistic, even if they act kind (often sarcastic kindness), they'll embarrass you for sure. Watch for the outgoing ones that aren't sarcastic kind types are the hardest to spot out that "important to know" flaw, and believe me, you'll want to know that flaw. Hope it helps, good luck!

  8. Anonymous
    April 29, 2010 at 10:06 pm

    i know a girl that when i saw her for the first time she told me to add her on facebook so i did. but every time i talk to her on facebook chat she doesn't answer, and i really like her but im not sure that she likes me. even if she talked to me on facebook or msn i wouldn't know what to say. so plz help

    • Steve Campbell
      May 12, 2010 at 4:25 am

      Knowing what to say in a given situation is difficult. You can always see if you share a mutual friend who trusts you that you can have vouch for you. Telling the truth never hurts either. Just be genuine and ask her out for coffee or lunch or something. Doesn't just have to be the two of you, either.

  9. Jim
    April 28, 2010 at 10:02 pm

    hahah as I was reading this article I followed the rules with a girl I had a crush on a while ago, but we havent talked in 3 years. This strategy worked like a charm, we talked for a long time and setup a phone date this weekend. Thanks!

    • Steve Campbell
      May 12, 2010 at 4:23 am

      Haha Wow I'm glad to hear that Jim. I guess I know what I'm talking about a little bit.

  10. Lacebook Larry
    March 15, 2010 at 5:54 am

    How to troll on facebook

  11. Steve Campbell
    March 3, 2010 at 5:45 pm

    You're right. I didn't mean to come off like it was a job interview or anything (Wouldn't want to start an awkward convo). Just throwing out some possible topics to chat about.

    As the conversation goes on longer and longer people tend to go silent because they've run out of ideas for things to talk about :).

  12. Von Lee
    March 3, 2010 at 7:35 am

    "start talking to her about her hobbies, interests, work status, relationship status, etc."

    Sir..this is a conversation with a girl, not a job interview. You should'nt start a conversation with that material.

    • Steven Campbell
      March 3, 2010 at 8:45 am

      You're right. I didn't mean to come off like it was a job interview or anything (Wouldn't want to start an awkward convo). Just throwing out some possible topics to chat about.

      As the conversation goes on longer and longer people tend to go silent because they've run out of ideas for things to talk about :).

  13. Kate
    February 26, 2010 at 9:42 am

    Whoa whoa whoa whoa....being a girl, this is sort of stupid. I don't know who you're asking out, but I wonder where their brains are.

    Accepting a friend request from someone you don't know is dumb. I do have a lot of friends that I don't know on Facebook, but only because I play some games and needed people to boost my strength in the games. Every one of those is on a special privacy setting that I've set up to ensure they don't have any access to my information (they can't even see the stuff I like on my profile) and can't see me online. And I still don't add people unless they specify why they're adding me (they mention what game it's for).

    While some messaging systems allow for "accidental" messages, Facebook is not one of them. Anyone with any sense will be able to realize you can't "accidentally" open the chat box, click on the person's name to open a new chat window, hit a random key, and hit enter.

    It's also INCREDIBLY unsafe for anyone to meet up with some guy they only know because they're friends on Facebook. How do you know they are who they say they are? Yeah, it could be a 24 year old guy - it could also be a 40 year old rapist.

    Use Facebook to friend someone you vaguely know and are interested in. Read her profile and chat with her legitimately. If she knows who you are and she has any interest in you, she'll be all too happy to chat with you, and if things go well, you might even be able to get a date. Don't use it to look up random strangers that look good.

    • Steven Campbell
      February 26, 2010 at 10:00 am

      I agree with you Kate. Purposely looking up people you don't know is pretty sketchy and not what I was trying to support in this article.

      Because of how people generally use Facebook (if they're using it properly), it is very likely that you are either an acquaintance of the person you want to ask out or you have mutual friends with them.

      This makes it easier for them to accept your friend request or at least ask how you know them, offering you a chance to talk to them and explain your intent.

      As far as the accidental messaging goes, it works lol. Sure if you sit back and think about it you realize how dumb it is but when you're in the moment and somebody is apologizing to you your first reaction is going to be to say "don't worry about it" or "it's okay". (Girls who read this article will know better though :))

      Anyway I appreciate your honesty and thanks for reading the article and contributing to the post. I love a bit of criticism as this article seems to be pretty controversial.

    • David A
      February 26, 2010 at 9:48 pm

      Kate, as a father of three daughters you need to have a lot of common sense to get face to face with a stranger.

  14. JR
    February 26, 2010 at 9:28 am

    This is good, very good :)
    Thanks for writing

  15. Steve Campbell
    February 26, 2010 at 7:00 pm

    I agree with you Kate. Purposely looking up people you don't know is pretty sketchy and not what I was trying to support in this article.

    Because of how people generally use Facebook (if they're using it properly), it is very likely that you are either an acquaintance of the person you want to ask out or you have mutual friends with them.

    This makes it easier for them to accept your friend request or at least ask how you know them, offering you a chance to talk to them and explain your intent.

    As far as the accidental messaging goes, it works lol. Sure if you sit back and think about it you realize how dumb it is but when you're in the moment and somebody is apologizing to you your first reaction is going to be to say "don't worry about it" or "it's okay". (Girls who read this article will know better though :))

    Anyway I appreciate your honesty and thanks for reading the article and contributing to the post. I love a bit of criticism as this article seems to be pretty controversial.

  16. Mojo Yugen
    February 25, 2010 at 2:04 pm

    "99% of the time people will accept your friend request."

    Really? I reject 99% of friend request if I don't know the person. Hell, I reject about 25% of the requests from people I know!

    • Steven Campbell
      February 25, 2010 at 2:12 pm

      Well, Mojo Yugen (nice picture by the way), it appears as though you are a bit of an outlier. That is to say, not in the majority.

      If you want to keep your Facebook page exclusive to your close friends that's entirely up to you, but in my experience people generally accept my invitations.

      Besides, you can always boot them later. ;)

  17. Steve Campbell
    February 25, 2010 at 11:12 pm

    Well, Mojo Yugen (nice picture by the way), it appears as though you are a bit of an outlier. That is to say, not in the majority.

    If you want to keep your Facebook page exclusive to your close friends that's entirely up to you, but in my experience people generally accept my invitations.

    Besides, you can always boot them later. ;)

  18. Kirsten
    February 23, 2010 at 12:21 pm

    XD Reading over this, I'm not sure if it's cute or creepy. I'm going to go with cute. Especially because I have done the "accidental typing" thing in the past. Also the "type something that won't make much sense and is clearly not meant for them, then say oops wrong person" thing. Because I have social skillz.

  19. prying
    February 23, 2010 at 10:37 am

    I'm just wondering - why is this article called "4 Effective Tips To Ask a Girl Out On Facebook" instead of "4 Effective Tips To Ask Someone Out On Facebook?" Will the tips work in case you want to ask out a man? Is there any actual difference?

    • Steven Campbell
      February 23, 2010 at 11:15 am

      Men aren't that complex. There is one effective tip to asking out a guy on Facebook (even if you don't know him):

      1. Ask him

      Thats it. :)

    • Ryan Dube
      February 24, 2010 at 8:49 am

      Yes, Men are WYSIWYG.

  20. Steve Campbell
    February 23, 2010 at 8:15 pm

    Men aren't that complex. There is one effective tip to asking out a guy on Facebook (even if you don't know him):

    1. Ask him

    Thats it. :)

    • A person
      January 28, 2016 at 12:31 pm

      There's no strategy for men, just ask. Thing is I always say no, it's my first reaction and I want to get pressure off my mind quick, it's the shy personality, if a guy rejects, try again later, but make sure he's "that guy", the one like me.

  21. Unionhawk
    February 23, 2010 at 5:30 am

    Protip: If you're going to ask a girl out, do it in person. Talking to her in general via Facebook, fine, but, nothing replaces a face-to-face conversation...

  22. Fun
    February 23, 2010 at 1:47 am

    Basically:
    1. Find a girl that you are attracted to in her photo
    2. Add her as a friend and hope she accepts
    3. Pretend to type to someone else, but purposely send it to here
    4. Talk and hope you hit it off

    For me, I meet see a girl I like at school or uni, find out what her name is, add her as a friend on Facebook and MSN and then talk to her. Even if we are in the same room as each other, I don't talk to her, maybe because I am scared?

    Once I was talking to a girl I like on MSN, and was logging in to hotmail, when I accidently typed my password into the chat log instead of the Hotmail. If she hated me, she could have done a lot - but she didn't care.

    • Anonymous
      May 10, 2010 at 12:43 am

      What if u go to school with the girl shes always been in your grade but u haven't talked to her in person or online does this still apply ?

  23. aj
    February 22, 2010 at 7:47 pm

    @Steven Campbell : that's a nice try.

    enjoy :)

  24. sam
    February 22, 2010 at 6:35 pm

    and this is related to "tech", how?

    • Ryan Dube
      February 23, 2010 at 3:02 am

      Believe it or not, some folks actually expand the scope of their interest in technology into areas like social networking and how you can meet people there. It's a whole new world.

    • David A
      February 26, 2010 at 9:37 pm

      I am assuming "social network" tweeking ??

  25. Steve Campbell
    February 23, 2010 at 3:44 am

    falls under "internet tips". thanks for reading! :)

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