What I have to tell you could very well change your life. Was that too dramatic? Sorry about that. Anyway, you’re probably here because you want advice on how to ask your dream girl out. Well, I believe I have some tips that can help you out. Now I’m no Erik von Markovik, but maybe I can give you a few creative ideas. As they say, there are plenty of fish in the sea. In this case, for all intents and purposes, Facebook is our sea.
That’s right, Facebook. We’re on it every day anyway. Social networking has changed the way we do everything, so why wouldn’t it change how we pursue the opposite sex? Why not do things where we’re most comfortable?
Let’s face it; if you are reading this there is a decent chance you are a geek. Now that isn’t a bad thing by any means, but what it also signifies is that if you are a guy geek, then statistically you are probably not so smooth with the ladies (stereotypically). That’s okay, because geeky men are good at analytical thinking, in fact, so much so that we have broken down the art of “˜picking up women’ into an exact science”¦but that’s another matter entirely.
In this article, I’m going to offer up a few creative ideas for how to ask a girl out on Facebook, along with some general rules of thumb and occasionally a few satirical remarks (bare with me). I am going to do this very carefully as I do not want to be known as the “stalkerbook guy”.
How to Ask a Girl Out on Facebook – Introducing Yourself
Let’s start simple””introductions. You ask, “How should I introduce myself to this girl?” and like most good advice, the answer is, “That depends.” Depending on whether or not you already know the person there are different ways to approach this.
If you are already “˜Facebook friends’ with this person then you are off to a good start. We’ll come back to you.
If you are not Facebook friends with this person, then do you at least have any mutual friends? Or is it just somebody you’ve never met but are attracted to?
In either case the first step is for you to “˜friend’ them. 99% of the time people will accept your friend request. If they don’t, there is probably an underlying reason why they didn’t and maybe you should just move on.
Once accepted, there is a small chance you will get a message asking something along the lines of “I don’t mean to be rude, but do I know you?” This is okay, just be honest.
If you have mutual friends just explain to her that you know [insert name(s)] and wanted to get to know her as well. If there are no mutual friends just tell her that you saw her picture, liked what you saw, and that you thought she would be a nice person to get to know.
Breaking the Ice
Whether or not you followed the above advice and “friended” her, the next step is to strike up a conversation. You want to get to know the girl at least a little bit before asking her out. Remember, we’re on Facebook. You are more of a stranger than if you were doing this in person. Here’s where we start to get creative.
Using Facebook chat, send the girl an “accidental” message. Sure, you could just say “Hi”, but where’s the fun in that? Besides, you risk looking like a stalker if you do it that way. She will be wondering why a person she doesn’t know wants to talk to her. You’ll have no chance.
Anyway, to make it look authentic just type a random character like “L” or “o”. Then, after a second or two, type “oops, sorry about that.” She will respond with something along the lines of “that’s okay”. Congratulations boys, you’re in.
Feel free to be creative here. I would follow up with a question: “Do I know you?” or “How are you?” Ask anything, just get her to answer. If you followed step one you should already be past this point.
Note: As you gals reading this may know (I realize there are a few of you), men are generally maniacal (pun intended). This means that while sometimes we come off as genuinely accidental, we are devious enough to have devised clever ways to talk to you. It’s the way we are, sorry.
Keep the Conversation Going
After getting past the awkward “˜who are you’ phase, start talking to her about her hobbies, interests, work status, relationship status, etc. Can’t think of anything else to talk about? Aw, if only you were on Facebook. Oh yeah, you are on Facebook. Study up!
On the Info page of her profile, you’ll find her activities, interests, favorite music, TV shows, books, movies, where she’s from, what groups shes’s in, etc.””tons of chances for you to have something in common or that you can talk about.
There is no reason you can’t use the information in her profile to keep the conversation going. After all, she scoped out your profile the second you started talking to her.
Note: Girls, grab control of your Facebook privacy! If you make it so your personal information can only be viewed by your Facebook friends, you can control who sees your information by whose friend requests you approve. Mahendra has 8 steps for you to follow here, and 8 MORE steps here.
Rinse & Repeat
If she’s really cool and you end up having a long conversation with her, feel free to ask her out. Say, “Hey we should meet up some time” or “What are you doing this weekend? Wanna hang out?”
If she says “No” (she won’t, an excuse is more likely) don’t sound too dejected. Just follow up with “No problem! Maybe another time.”
If you aren’t “feeling it” don’t worry. Just tell her you’ll talk to her later and make an attempt to talk to her again some time. Really try to get to know her before you ask a girl out.
Allow Me to Explain
Upon reading this article, you may have thought to yourself, “Where’s the romance?” Truth be told, that doesn’t work all that well in this situation. Sure, I could have suggested you send her an electronic Facebook gift or leave nice comments on her Wall (feel free to try), but let’s get practical here.
Those types of actions are best suited for those who are already dating. Doing romantic things for someone you barely know, in my opinion, makes you look weak and it opens the door for rejection (unless she thinks you’re cute, in which case you’re fine).
All girls love a good Cinderella story guys, but they also know a fairy tale when they see one. It’s best to just talk to her and build some chemistry. The goal here is a high conversion rate, right?
I hope you’ll appreciate how difficult an article like this was to write. Although social networking is being widely accepted and growing rapidly, there are few rules (except the obvious ones) of how we should engage one another in these spaces. Follow your instincts and use all the Facebook tools at your disposal. Good luck!
Leave your thoughts, ideas, and comments below, and please be gentle. Like I said before, I’m no expert.