4 Effective Tips To Ask a Girl Out On Facebook

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   4 Effective Tips To Ask a Girl Out On FacebookWhat I have to tell you could very well change your life. Was that too dramatic? Sorry about that. Anyway, you’re probably here because you want advice on how to ask your dream girl out. Well, I believe I have some tips that can help you out. Now I’m no Erik von Markovik, but maybe I can give you a few creative ideas. As they say, there are plenty of fish in the sea. In this case, for all intents and purposes, Facebook is our sea.

That’s right, Facebook. We’re on it every day anyway. Social networking has changed the way we do everything, so why wouldn’t it change how we pursue the opposite sex? Why not do things where we’re most comfortable?


Let’s face it; if you are reading this there is a decent chance you are a geek. Now that isn’t a bad thing by any means, but what it also signifies is that if you are a guy geek, then statistically you are probably not so smooth with the ladies (stereotypically). That’s okay, because geeky men are good at analytical thinking, in fact, so much so that we have broken down the art of “˜picking up women’ into an exact science”¦but that’s another matter entirely.

In this article, I’m going to offer up a few creative ideas for how to ask a girl out on Facebook, along with some general rules of thumb and occasionally a few satirical remarks (bare with me). I am going to do this very carefully as I do not want to be known as the “stalkerbook guy”.

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How to Ask a Girl Out on Facebook – Introducing Yourself

Let’s start simple””introductions. You ask, “How should I introduce myself to this girl?” and like most good advice, the answer is, “That depends.” Depending on whether or not you already know the person there are different ways to approach this.

If you are already “˜Facebook friends’ with this person then you are off to a good start. We’ll come back to you.

   4 Effective Tips To Ask a Girl Out On Facebook

If you are not Facebook friends with this person, then do you at least have any mutual friends? Or is it just somebody you’ve never met but are attracted to?

In either case the first step is for you to “˜friend’ them. 99% of the time people will accept your friend request. If they don’t, there is probably an underlying reason why they didn’t and maybe you should just move on.

   4 Effective Tips To Ask a Girl Out On Facebook

Once accepted, there is a small chance you will get a message asking something along the lines of “I don’t mean to be rude, but do I know you?” This is okay, just be honest.

If you have mutual friends just explain to her that you know [insert name(s)] and wanted to get to know her as well. If there are no mutual friends just tell her that you saw her picture, liked what you saw, and that you thought she would be a nice person to get to know.

Breaking the Ice

Whether or not you followed the above advice and “friended” her, the next step is to strike up a conversation. You want to get to know the girl at least a little bit before asking her out. Remember, we’re on Facebook. You are more of a stranger than if you were doing this in person. Here’s where we start to get creative.

Using Facebook chat, send the girl an “accidental” message. Sure, you could just say “Hi”, but where’s the fun in that? Besides, you risk looking like a stalker if you do it that way. She will be wondering why a person she doesn’t know wants to talk to her. You’ll have no chance.

   4 Effective Tips To Ask a Girl Out On Facebook

Anyway, to make it look authentic just type a random character like “L” or “o”. Then, after a second or two, type “oops, sorry about that.” She will respond with something along the lines of “that’s okay”. Congratulations boys, you’re in.

Feel free to be creative here. I would follow up with a question: “Do I know you?” or “How are you?” Ask anything, just get her to answer. If you followed step one you should already be past this point.

Note: As you gals reading this may know (I realize there are a few of you), men are generally maniacal (pun intended). This means that while sometimes we come off as genuinely accidental, we are devious enough to have devised clever ways to talk to you. It’s the way we are, sorry.

Keep the Conversation Going

After getting past the awkward “˜who are you’ phase, start talking to her about her hobbies, interests, work status, relationship status, etc. Can’t think of anything else to talk about? Aw, if only you were on Facebook. Oh yeah, you are on Facebook. Study up!

   4 Effective Tips To Ask a Girl Out On Facebook

On the Info page of her profile, you’ll find her activities, interests, favorite music, TV shows, books, movies, where she’s from, what groups shes’s in, etc.””tons of chances for you to have something in common or that you can talk about.

There is no reason you can’t use the information in her profile to keep the conversation going. After all, she scoped out your profile the second you started talking to her.

   4 Effective Tips To Ask a Girl Out On Facebook

Note: Girls, grab control of your Facebook privacy! If you make it so your personal information can only be viewed by your Facebook friends, you can control who sees your information by whose friend requests you approve. Mahendra has 8 steps for you to follow here, and 8 MORE steps here.

Rinse & Repeat

If she’s really cool and you end up having a long conversation with her, feel free to ask her out. Say, “Hey we should meet up some time” or “What are you doing this weekend? Wanna hang out?”

If she says “No” (she won’t, an excuse is more likely) don’t sound too dejected. Just follow up with “No problem! Maybe another time.”

If you aren’t “feeling it” don’t worry. Just tell her you’ll talk to her later and make an attempt to talk to her again some time. Really try to get to know her before you ask a girl out.

Allow Me to Explain

Upon reading this article, you may have thought to yourself, “Where’s the romance?” Truth be told, that doesn’t work all that well in this situation. Sure, I could have suggested you send her an electronic Facebook gift or leave nice comments on her Wall (feel free to try), but let’s get practical here.

Those types of actions are best suited for those who are already dating. Doing romantic things for someone you barely know, in my opinion, makes you look weak and it opens the door for rejection (unless she thinks you’re cute, in which case you’re fine).

All girls love a good Cinderella story guys, but they also know a fairy tale when they see one. It’s best to just talk to her and build some chemistry. The goal here is a high conversion rate, right?

   4 Effective Tips To Ask a Girl Out On Facebook

I hope you’ll appreciate how difficult an article like this was to write. Although social networking is being widely accepted and growing rapidly, there are few rules (except the obvious ones) of how we should engage one another in these spaces. Follow your instincts and use all the Facebook tools at your disposal. Good luck!

Leave your thoughts, ideas, and comments below, and please be gentle. Like I said before, I’m no expert.

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29 Comments - Write a Comment

Reply

Steve Campbell

falls under “internet tips”. thanks for reading! :)

Reply

sam

and this is related to “tech”, how?

Ryan Dube

Believe it or not, some folks actually expand the scope of their interest in technology into areas like social networking and how you can meet people there. It’s a whole new world.

David A

I am assuming “social network” tweeking ??

Reply

aj

@Steven Campbell : that’s a nice try.

enjoy :)

Reply

Fun

Basically:
1. Find a girl that you are attracted to in her photo
2. Add her as a friend and hope she accepts
3. Pretend to type to someone else, but purposely send it to here
4. Talk and hope you hit it off

For me, I meet see a girl I like at school or uni, find out what her name is, add her as a friend on Facebook and MSN and then talk to her. Even if we are in the same room as each other, I don’t talk to her, maybe because I am scared?

Once I was talking to a girl I like on MSN, and was logging in to hotmail, when I accidently typed my password into the chat log instead of the Hotmail. If she hated me, she could have done a lot – but she didn’t care.

Anonymous

What if u go to school with the girl shes always been in your grade but u haven’t talked to her in person or online does this still apply ?

Reply

Unionhawk

Protip: If you’re going to ask a girl out, do it in person. Talking to her in general via Facebook, fine, but, nothing replaces a face-to-face conversation…

Reply

Steve Campbell

Men aren’t that complex. There is one effective tip to asking out a guy on Facebook (even if you don’t know him):

1. Ask him

Thats it. :)

Reply

prying

I’m just wondering – why is this article called “4 Effective Tips To Ask a Girl Out On Facebook” instead of “4 Effective Tips To Ask Someone Out On Facebook?” Will the tips work in case you want to ask out a man? Is there any actual difference?

Steven Campbell

Men aren’t that complex. There is one effective tip to asking out a guy on Facebook (even if you don’t know him):

1. Ask him

Thats it. :)

Ryan Dube

Yes, Men are WYSIWYG.

Reply

Kirsten

XD Reading over this, I’m not sure if it’s cute or creepy. I’m going to go with cute. Especially because I have done the “accidental typing” thing in the past. Also the “type something that won’t make much sense and is clearly not meant for them, then say oops wrong person” thing. Because I have social skillz.

Reply

Steve Campbell

Well, Mojo Yugen (nice picture by the way), it appears as though you are a bit of an outlier. That is to say, not in the majority.

If you want to keep your Facebook page exclusive to your close friends that’s entirely up to you, but in my experience people generally accept my invitations.

Besides, you can always boot them later. ;)

Reply

Mojo Yugen

“99% of the time people will accept your friend request.”

Really? I reject 99% of friend request if I don’t know the person. Hell, I reject about 25% of the requests from people I know!

Steven Campbell

Well, Mojo Yugen (nice picture by the way), it appears as though you are a bit of an outlier. That is to say, not in the majority.

If you want to keep your Facebook page exclusive to your close friends that’s entirely up to you, but in my experience people generally accept my invitations.

Besides, you can always boot them later. ;)

Reply

Steve Campbell

I agree with you Kate. Purposely looking up people you don’t know is pretty sketchy and not what I was trying to support in this article.

Because of how people generally use Facebook (if they’re using it properly), it is very likely that you are either an acquaintance of the person you want to ask out or you have mutual friends with them.

This makes it easier for them to accept your friend request or at least ask how you know them, offering you a chance to talk to them and explain your intent.

As far as the accidental messaging goes, it works lol. Sure if you sit back and think about it you realize how dumb it is but when you’re in the moment and somebody is apologizing to you your first reaction is going to be to say “don’t worry about it” or “it’s okay”. (Girls who read this article will know better though :))

Anyway I appreciate your honesty and thanks for reading the article and contributing to the post. I love a bit of criticism as this article seems to be pretty controversial.

Reply

JR

This is good, very good :)
Thanks for writing

Reply

Kate

Whoa whoa whoa whoa….being a girl, this is sort of stupid. I don’t know who you’re asking out, but I wonder where their brains are.

Accepting a friend request from someone you don’t know is dumb. I do have a lot of friends that I don’t know on Facebook, but only because I play some games and needed people to boost my strength in the games. Every one of those is on a special privacy setting that I’ve set up to ensure they don’t have any access to my information (they can’t even see the stuff I like on my profile) and can’t see me online. And I still don’t add people unless they specify why they’re adding me (they mention what game it’s for).

While some messaging systems allow for “accidental” messages, Facebook is not one of them. Anyone with any sense will be able to realize you can’t “accidentally” open the chat box, click on the person’s name to open a new chat window, hit a random key, and hit enter.

It’s also INCREDIBLY unsafe for anyone to meet up with some guy they only know because they’re friends on Facebook. How do you know they are who they say they are? Yeah, it could be a 24 year old guy – it could also be a 40 year old rapist.

Use Facebook to friend someone you vaguely know and are interested in. Read her profile and chat with her legitimately. If she knows who you are and she has any interest in you, she’ll be all too happy to chat with you, and if things go well, you might even be able to get a date. Don’t use it to look up random strangers that look good.

Steven Campbell

I agree with you Kate. Purposely looking up people you don’t know is pretty sketchy and not what I was trying to support in this article.

Because of how people generally use Facebook (if they’re using it properly), it is very likely that you are either an acquaintance of the person you want to ask out or you have mutual friends with them.

This makes it easier for them to accept your friend request or at least ask how you know them, offering you a chance to talk to them and explain your intent.

As far as the accidental messaging goes, it works lol. Sure if you sit back and think about it you realize how dumb it is but when you’re in the moment and somebody is apologizing to you your first reaction is going to be to say “don’t worry about it” or “it’s okay”. (Girls who read this article will know better though :))

Anyway I appreciate your honesty and thanks for reading the article and contributing to the post. I love a bit of criticism as this article seems to be pretty controversial.

David A

Kate, as a father of three daughters you need to have a lot of common sense to get face to face with a stranger.

Reply

Von Lee

“start talking to her about her hobbies, interests, work status, relationship status, etc.”

Sir..this is a conversation with a girl, not a job interview. You should’nt start a conversation with that material.

Steven Campbell

You’re right. I didn’t mean to come off like it was a job interview or anything (Wouldn’t want to start an awkward convo). Just throwing out some possible topics to chat about.

As the conversation goes on longer and longer people tend to go silent because they’ve run out of ideas for things to talk about :).

Reply

Steve Campbell

You’re right. I didn’t mean to come off like it was a job interview or anything (Wouldn’t want to start an awkward convo). Just throwing out some possible topics to chat about.

As the conversation goes on longer and longer people tend to go silent because they’ve run out of ideas for things to talk about :).

Reply

Lacebook Larry

How to troll on facebook

Reply

Jim

hahah as I was reading this article I followed the rules with a girl I had a crush on a while ago, but we havent talked in 3 years. This strategy worked like a charm, we talked for a long time and setup a phone date this weekend. Thanks!

Steve Campbell

Haha Wow I’m glad to hear that Jim. I guess I know what I’m talking about a little bit.

Reply

Anonymous

i know a girl that when i saw her for the first time she told me to add her on facebook so i did. but every time i talk to her on facebook chat she doesn’t answer, and i really like her but im not sure that she likes me. even if she talked to me on facebook or msn i wouldn’t know what to say. so plz help

Steve Campbell

Knowing what to say in a given situation is difficult. You can always see if you share a mutual friend who trusts you that you can have vouch for you. Telling the truth never hurts either. Just be genuine and ask her out for coffee or lunch or something. Doesn’t just have to be the two of you, either.

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