It’s the holidays, and that means meeting with friends and family – and politics might come up. Are you wondering if your political viewpoints are correct?
That’s weird: of course they are. The entire Internet, and all the other media you regularly consume, is constantly telling you how right you are. Why would you even doubt that?
Want to double-check? That’s stupid, but you can. If the following things are true, don’t worry: you’re right.
The People You Choose To Follow Agree With You
You’re awesome, so you wouldn’t follow anyone who isn’t. And clearly anyone you think is awesome must be pretty smart, right?
It’s therefore easy to conclude that the people you follow on social networks, such as Twitter, offer you a completely balanced way to gauge political opinion (at least, the opinion of anyone important).
So if the people you follow on Twitter usually say things you agree with, congratulations: your political viewpoints are accurate!
Sites like Twitter and Tumblr are obviously ideal, because it’s entirely up to you who you follow. Networks like Facebook, sadly, are still based on real-life relationships – and your real-life friends and family may not be correct when it comes to politics.
Happily, Facebook is designed to account for this, and will slowly remove links and opinions you don’t respond positively to from your news feed. So if you’re not seeing universal agreement now, give it time. When the filter does its job, you’ll know your political viewpoints are completely correct.
The News You Choose to Consume Agrees With You
You’re really smart, so you only check the best news sources. Sure, there are other news sources out there, but your news sources are the most reliable – and the least biased. The news sources you like may occasionally get things wrong, but the news organizations you dislike are completely and utterly dishonest. They deliberately spin things. They can’t be trusted.
Because you’re so smart, and because you only check the good news sources, it’s easy to know whether your political viewpoints are correct. Do the news sources you check regularly support your worldview? If so, congratulations: you’re right about everything!
The People You Disagree With Are Ridiculous
The people you follow, and the news sources you like, will of course point out when someone you disagree with says something stupid. Whether it’s a politician from that other party, or a commentator who typically aligns with them, the people you follow and the news sources you choose to consume will be quick to point out anything foolish these people say (and some things they didn’t, but that’s just an honest mistake).
You should click through to such stories immediately, because they are strong indicators that your political viewpoints are accurate. How could you be wrong if the people who disagree with you occasionally say stupid things? If you can find articles like this about the people you disagree with, congratulations: your political views are accurate.
Of course, upon occasion less reputable news organizations will take the words of someone you agree with out-of-context, in an attempt to make them sound stupid. It’s unfortunate that so-called journalists would resort to such tactics, but that’s the sad state of online journalism. Don’t worry: all the people with integrity agree with you.
Embrace Your Bubble
Now you know that all of your political viewpoints are accurate. Doesn’t that feel good? And it’s all because of the magic of Internet!
The web is designed to keep you interested – at least, the sites that you use every day are. Facebook works hard to make sure the posts you see are interesting, using your past habits to predict what sort of things will keep you liking and scrolling. Google’s results are similarly customized to keep you engaged. Even news organizations are tracking your habits, and striving to give you only what you want.
And what you want is to read that you’re right. Which makes sense, because you are right. About everything. Why would you even doubt that?
While we’re thinking about this, be sure to ignore fact checking websites. Most of them are biased too – at least, they are if they disrupt your completely accurate political viewpoints (feel free to cite them if they support your view).
Are your political viewpoints completely accurate? Of course they are, but please: tell me how accurate they are in the comments below.
Image Credits: Allen Brewer Via Flickr