20 Original & Funny Facebook Statuses

Facebook is not only a great way to reconnect and stay in touch with friends, relatives, and interesting people. It is also a rich source for entertainment. And I don't mean the mindless games and psycho tests.

While it seems that most of us lead a rather eventless lives, there are people out there who can fit a meaningful message or funny story in 140 characters. Wouldn't you like to receive their status updates? Or maybe you would rather be such a creative mind yourself!

Gather up some inspiration and get those creative juices flowing! Here are 20 original and funny Facebook status messages that are different.

People with Problems

You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your Facebook. No way you were getting out of a DUI.
The most awkward part of meeting new people is when my kids say, "Please help us."
I drank so much GoldschlÃ¤ger last night, I could shit a necklace.
If at first you don't succeed, try drinking beer while you do it. You'll be amazed at how much less you care.
He let me duct tape his mouth because I said it was my fetish; I really just wanted him to shut up.

For Halloween

Eat, drink and be scary.
I am dying to have a great Halloween with you.
... wants to remind you this Halloween, that as a general rule, don't solve riddles that open portals to Hell.
... wonders if he's getting old, or if others also ask for high-fiber candy only on Halloween?
... thinks that cauldron of Halloween candy has been undressing me with its eyes from across the room all night...come here you.

For the New Year

I will stop using FB as a tool of procrastination and actually do some homework.
I will avoid taking a bath whenever possible and conserve more water.
I resolve to work with neglected children. (my own).
I will stop judging myself on how many people I have on my friends list. Also, stop taking posed, extreme angle profile pics...if you know me you know what I really look like!
I will try to find a way to politely lose the 4 most annoying Facebook friends.

For Uninspired Times

Insert coin to view status message.
If you have a parrot and you don't teach it to say,"Help, they've turned me into a parrot", you are wasting everybody's time.
The obscure we see eventually. The completely obvious, it seems, takes longer.
When I was born I was so surprised, I didn't talk for a year and a half.
... is cle'a[ni.ng hi's ke]yb36oa;rd

Need more inspiration? Check out the following pages and my resources for Funny Facebook Statuses:

Also check out our other articles on Facebook: