This week: a new virus encrypts your files and takes them hostage until you pay. I’ll ask James – who definitely didn’t make this, why are you even asking – what could possibly be worse than this. Blackberry’s BBM service is out now for Android and iOS users, and we couldn’t possibly be less excited. Rating bots disagree, find out why (hint: it’s because they’re bots). And we tell you about the greatest anti-piracy tactic of all time.